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Old 03-08-2011, 03:54 PM
 
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Is it possible to just be friends with someone that you really like? You want more but he is happy being single. So do you apease him and be his friend or just walk away from the whole thing because it would be too hard.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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I was in that same position a while back, I cut all ties. It was hard but I am at a much better place emotionally than I was before.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:18 PM
 
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Everything in me is saying to end it because its so emotionally draining that i don't think i can muster the strength to go through it. I would rather end it now and love him from a distance than we be friends and he eventually sends me a wedding invitation from someone he has fallen in love with.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
Is it possible to just be friends with someone that you really like? You want more but he is happy being single. So do you apease him and be his friend or just walk away from the whole thing because it would be too hard.
Anything is possible. When you don't have anything, no promises and no time limit. Some people need that to go on. You never know, something could change. Don't cut ties if neither of you have anyone. That would just be stupid.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Somewhere on Earth
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This thread hits home for me because I'm currently in a situation which is very similar to this one.

I would say it's impossible because you would still be seeing him or thinking about him as you guys are friends, so that attraction would not be able to fade. You would cling to the fact that there might still be hope because you are still around him and that you are different and can change his mind. Not to say there isn't a chance, but it's very low and doubtful.

I would recommend distancing yourself a bit. I'm lucky that I can't see my friend anymore and the relationship was strained already because I know I would be overcome with feelings if I was still around him.

Distract yourself and good luck!
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
Is it possible to just be friends with someone that you really like? You want more but he is happy being single. So do you apease him and be his friend or just walk away from the whole thing because it would be too hard.
Befriending someone should never be about appeasing him. You should only be friends with someone if you really want to.

If you're friends with him, maybe he has some friends you'll meet who are looking to date.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:37 PM
 
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Everything in me is saying to end it because its so emotionally draining that i don't think i can muster the strength to go through it. I would rather end it now and love him from a distance than we be friends and he eventually sends me a wedding invitation from someone he has fallen in love with.
That doesn't sound like a friendship. I'd cut ties.

Friendships should be positive for both sides. If it only causes you pain, and is emotionally draining, then it isn't worth it.

Cut ties. And tell him why you are doing so. Make sure he knows that it isn't because you don't like him, but because you like him too much and don't want to feel hurt.
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:38 PM
 
3,147 posts, read 3,489,342 times
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Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
Everything in me is saying to end it because its so emotionally draining that i don't think i can muster the strength to go through it. I would rather end it now and love him from a distance than we be friends and he eventually sends me a wedding invitation from someone he has fallen in love with.
Unfortunately most people don't change their minds on who they are attracted to, the attraction is there or it isn't, it rarely just appears because you want it to. On the other hand, attraction rarely goes away just because you want it to, even if you try to be platonic, chances are you will still like the guy no matter how hard you try not to.

I have heard some love therapists say that this situation is very bad for whoever is experiencing the unrequited love. They say get away as fast as you can.

Plus, wouldn't you rather be free to focus on whatever guy comes along who is dying to be with you rather than being blinded by your crush which in all likelihood wont happen?
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Old 03-08-2011, 04:46 PM
 
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I think it's possible but it will be a challenge. I distance myself when I'm in this position, and I use this time to reevaluate my reasonings. It also depends whether this friendship is going to be a healthy or unhealthy one. If it's unhealthy, it's best to end it. I guess I cherish friendship too much so I end up coming back feeling better.
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Old 03-08-2011, 06:40 PM
 
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Default Is it possible to just be friends with someone who doesn't want more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
Is it possible to just be friends with someone that you really like? You want more but he is happy being single. So do you apease him and be his friend or just walk away from the whole thing because it would be too hard.
If it were me I think I would move away from this relationship slowly. He hasn't really done anything to make you angry with him, just ending the friendship abruptly will hurt both of you. Why would you want to hurt him? Can't you just spend less time with him and spend it with someone else? I doubt that he will change his mind, but you never know for sure. If you are completely out of his life there will be no hope of him wanting a relationship with you. I say, give it some time, don't be in a hurry. Don't burn any bridges or do anything you may be sorry for.
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