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At 19 you shouldnt have time for girls.. between studying, working, going to school! Focus on your career and getting established. Once you land you first professional real world job with school and all behind you then worry about dating.
See, I don't agree with that. You are probably of the older generation I bet. I don't see why someone has to wait til they graduate college and get a real professional job in order to date someone?
Do you understand how hard it is to go thru high school and college hallways and never have someone's hand to hold? Yet all around you, it seems like everyone is hugged up or with someone. Think about it. Its hard to focus on studies when all you can think about is how lonely you are...
During my entire senior year of high school, it was my boyfriend who helped me get thru a time when I had no friends. And he didn't even go to the same school. I don't think I would have had the strength to face all the other students, deal with the pressures of 'getting' someone and been able to graduate has it not been for him talking to me each and everyday.
If there was a law that I had to wait til I graduated and land a 'career' job before I could ever feel what it's like to hold another man's hands, I'd been of pulled the trigger long time ago..
However....I do agree with the others. Get into the community college. You'll meet decent people with goals rather than needy women off the street, which is the last thing you'd want. And...I found people in college were more likely to be open to meeting people because they no longer depend on the high school cliques and are FORCED to interact with people.
You also have the older mature 20s women who are willing to study with younger, smart mature guys :-)
Last edited by CruisingUSA; 03-09-2011 at 12:10 AM..
I feel the same exact way. I'm 27 and I haven't been on a date in over a year. Ofcourse that's mainly because I was up in North Dakota in the oil fields for ten months with no women at all. It got to where any woman was a ten. But serioulsy, I know what you're going through. Stay positive. It's hard, but that's what I'm trying to do as well. As a matter of fact, 19 is way too young to worry about things like that. Even 27 is too young from what others tell me. Sometimes, i can't even sleep at night, because I'm so ****in pissed, and the next morning i forget all about it. I've been where you've been. Once you get into college, you'll get to meet girls and make out with girls etc., but be alert, you're very likely to get burned and it hurts, but always think of it as a learning experience. Don't make the same mistakes I did and get pissed off and eventually be a dick to the ones who burned you. And don't give up. Learn from the friends and roommates you meet in college.
See, I don't agree with that. You are probably of the older generation I bet. I don't see why someone has to wait til they graduate college and get a real professional job in order to date someone?
Do you understand how hard it is to go thru high school and college hallways and never have someone's hand to hold? Yet all around you, it seems like everyone is hugged up or with someone. Think about it. Its hard to focus on studies when all you can think about is how lonely you are...
During my entire senior year of high school, it was my boyfriend who helped me get thru a time when I had no friends. And he didn't even go to the same school. I don't think I would have had the strength to face all the other students, deal with the pressures of 'getting' someone and been able to graduate has it not been for him talking to me each and everyday.
If there was a law that I had to wait til I graduated and land a 'career' job before I could ever feel what it's like to hold another man's hands, I'd been of pulled the trigger long time ago..
However....I do agree with the others. Get into the community college. You'll meet decent people with goals rather than needy women off the street, which is the last thing you'd want. And...I found people in college were more likely to be open to meeting people because they no longer depend on the high school cliques and are FORCED to interact with people.
You also have the older mature 20s women who are willing to study with younger, smart mature guys :-)
I agree. I got both a D and an F on my transcript, because I was so depressed with having not meet any new girls and being burned at the same time.
Im 19 and I use free dating websites and I just get ignored by girls. The couple of times I tried asking girls out in person I got rejected. And people question how Im suppouse to build up self confidence when Im ignored and rejected. Im a nice guy, trust me if you meet me in real life you would be able to see that. Im physically fit and I feel Im pretty good looking, but I guess girls don't think so. I think its time for me to just focus on money and forget the concept of love entirely because as far as I can see its never going to happen. I just want some input, it would be greatly apprieciated. I know Im young but I also forgot to mention I don't have any friends. I use to have a ton of my old classmates on facebook and any time I tried to ask if they wanted to hang out they would always say their busy or they couldn't. So not only can I not find a girlfriend I can't find anybody to be friends with. Huh sorry if it seems like im venting, but Im diagnosed with depression and anxiety so this stuff is so hard on me and wanted to see what people think about this.
I wouldn't necessarily focus on money as much as independence. Depending upon the resources you start with and have at your disposal, there are ways to become independent that don't require years of education and lots of money. The more independence you gain, the stronger your self esteem will become.
Don't worry about the nice house and fancy car. Any independence, however modest, will be attractive at your age. If you have a job, save up and look into buying something modest and small. Someplace where only you make the rules. That will give you a needed shot in the arm. Also Walden is a good book for inspiration on independence.
You're very young so learning this now you already are ahead of many at your age. You just have to come up with a plan and follow it to get there.
The way to attract people is not to approach them if you are in an unhappy state of mind. Make yourself happy first, create a content little universe of your own first and then people will be attracted to you because they see you living a happy and content life, a stable contentment being more important than ecstatic happiness.. (Once you're in a relatively stable content state of being, let people approach you first and just be open to them.) When people are romantically attracted to us it's our happy lives that they really are attracted to and want to share in..But you don't need to start out with friends to be content...You can make yourself happy by just doing what you want regardless of whether you have personal connections to people or not...You don't have control over people but, with some effort, you can have control over the activities you like to do and the settings you like to be in...And to do and be what and where you want, you need to be independent.
As for school, you'll have to decide that one. Depending on your situation, school may delay your happiness if it requires more money and time to make yourself independent than say, going to work and saving for a piece of land or house or apartment. The point is, independence, by either method, will make you feel you have achieved something and boost your self esteem and it will also give you more freedom over yourself which will boost your self esteem even more as well as enable you to practice being happy and content and then, being both independent and happy is what will attract people to you. It's just like a math formula. You gather the numbers for the equation and then you add them up to get the result you want.
Last edited by Shankapotomus; 05-08-2013 at 12:51 AM..
Im 19 and I use free dating websites and I just get ignored by girls.
Because most of the time they are FAKE. I bet you 80% of those "girls" are fake. I've even seen G rated pics of porn stars as girls on these stupid dating sites.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTownNative
The couple of times I tried asking girls out in person I got rejected. And people question how Im suppose to build up self confidence when Im ignored and rejected. Im a nice guy, trust me if you meet me in real life you would be able to see that. Im physically fit and I feel Im pretty good looking, but I guess girls don't think so. I think its time for me to just focus on money and forget the concept of love entirely because as far as I can see its never going to happen.
Why does everyone in this country think life is easy and peachy keen. Back when this country wasn't so ****ed up with liberalism and "guys don't talk to guys" bull****, we wouldn't have this problem. Now that my pissed off face is done. You asked a couple times and got rejected? TWO WHOLE TIMES. Seriously? Go to parties, bars, clubs. Look your best and just be yourself. Most girls don't want to hear you talking about you owning someone in modern warfare. Just because you see a pretty girl and get rejected doesn't mean jack. Keep trying and forget the rejects because that's what they are. If you are truly smart, a good person, and take care of yourself, they are pure rejects and would not benefit society. Find a mate that would benefit you and society so we can weed out the rejects out. Oh and if you go to a party and notice nothing but men, I would leave that party so fast.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTownNative
I just want some input, it would be greatly appreciated. I know Im young but I also forgot to mention I don't have any friends. I use to have a ton of my old classmates on facebook and any time I tried to ask if they wanted to hang out they would always say their busy or they couldn't. So not only can I not find a girlfriend I can't find anybody to be friends with. Huh sorry if it seems like im venting, but Im diagnosed with depression and anxiety so this stuff is so hard on me and wanted to see what people think about this.
Let's say this. **** friends. They don't benefit you beyond connection. Don't burn connections just don't rely on any of them or anyone but yourself. Go to a club or bar, don't be afraid to approach any woman. Find some party "friends" people that you can get into parties with lots of people. But do not make them anything beyond that. They are not your friend at all. But when you finally do start conversation with a female, the moment she says like omg, on her cell phone all the time, interrupts you consistently, drop her like she has aids.
Im 19 and I use free dating websites and I just get ignored by girls. The couple of times I tried asking girls out in person I got rejected. And people question how Im suppouse to build up self confidence when Im ignored and rejected. Im a nice guy, trust me if you meet me in real life you would be able to see that. Im physically fit and I feel Im pretty good looking, but I guess girls don't think so. I think its time for me to just focus on money and forget the concept of love entirely because as far as I can see its never going to happen. I just want some input, it would be greatly apprieciated. I know Im young but I also forgot to mention I don't have any friends. I use to have a ton of my old classmates on facebook and any time I tried to ask if they wanted to hang out they would always say their busy or they couldn't. So not only can I not find a girlfriend I can't find anybody to be friends with. Huh sorry if it seems like im venting, but Im diagnosed with depression and anxiety so this stuff is so hard on me and wanted to see what people think about this.
I felt like it my whole life - never find someone. You are way too young to give up. Just enjoy life. I found my husband in my 40s. Yes in dating sites. Took me 2 years though. You will still only be 21 by then so just relax.
Maybe you have a stuck up/awkward vibe you need to work on your social attitude/mentality first. Just relax and enjoy. And never get discouraged if u only have 1st date meets - I am an expert of that. But I just shrugged and move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Stop looking at everyone else like they are the prize and you must prove yourself to them, be it a friend or a significant other. Nobody is any better than you inherently. Work on yourself and follow your passions, confidence will come.
When you start seeing yourself as the prize other people must win, they will see you the same way.
Well said. I'm just a little bit older than you, for the record. It's hard, but try to develop the mindset that you don't ever want to be someone's "option" in life...you want to be their priority. Don't want to date or get in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. Once you start feeling better about yourself, this will be much easier to do. Hang in there.
Mmm I was in your position when I was 19. I never got on dating sites though. I too was really wrapped up in getting a boyfriend because I felt so lonely and thought still being single at my age was soooo bad. Now that I am older and drawing from experiences when I was younger, I realize that love will happen in its own time. I don't fall for guys easily and when I do, it never goes any farther than us "talking" so really I always had this fantasy of what a relationship is like, when in all honesty I don't know what the real thing is like at all, as I have never been in a relationship.
I think when you are still a teen or however old you are now, your first priority in life is yourself at that age. You should focus on making yourself happy and making yourself a better person. All the rest will come in time if you allow it to. If there wasn't so much pressure to begin with, I don't think so many people would be questioning themselves as much as they do. It is up to you to see through that illusion and live life for you. I think you are going to be just fine. Focus on making yourself happy.
Im 19 and I use free dating websites and I just get ignored by girls. The couple of times I tried asking girls out in person I got rejected. And people question how Im suppouse to build up self confidence when Im ignored and rejected. Im a nice guy, trust me if you meet me in real life you would be able to see that. Im physically fit and I feel Im pretty good looking, but I guess girls don't think so. I think its time for me to just focus on money and forget the concept of love entirely because as far as I can see its never going to happen.
You have to try more than just a couple of times to have success. Everyone gets turned down when they approach the opposite sex. The people who have success are the ones that don't let rejection phase them, and they keep approaching until they find someone receptive. For ever 10 approaches if you get one who's interested, you're doing well.
How/where do you approach girls? Are you involved in activities where girls participate, so they can get to know you over time, and see your good qualities? Or do you approach them out of the blue, as a stranger? That can work for some people, depending on the personality, but not for others, especially for shy, reticent guys.
You have to try more than just a couple of times to have success. Everyone gets turned down when they approach the opposite sex. The people who have success are the ones that don't let rejection phase them, and they keep approaching until they find someone receptive. For ever 10 approaches if you get one who's interested, you're doing well.
How/where do you approach girls? Are you involved in activities where girls participate, so they can get to know you over time, and see your good qualities? Or do you approach them out of the blue, as a stranger? That can work for some people, depending on the personality, but not for others, especially for shy, reticent guys.
Ruth this thread is 3 years old, he's my age now.
He may have had a few drastic changes in that time.
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