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So my ex has gotten back together with his previous girlfriend who would insult and emasculate him by saying that he was too short, too weak, etc., and then ended up dumping him almost three years ago after dating him for only 8 months. He continued to chase her and try to win her love, but she would give him a little bit of encouragement then reject him all over again.
Life is short and then we die, and at age 56 he's not getting any younger. What sense does it make for him chase after someone who doesn't love him or respect him when he had someone like me who did? Since it's been three years, hopefully, she's changed and can now love him the way in which he wants her to love him.
An unhealthy person may not be satisfied with a healthy relationship. He may thrive on the drama, the extremes, the challenge. Or it could be that despite the obvious problems, he thinks she's incredibly hot and worth the negatives. Yes, that's not very smart.
So my ex has gotten back together with his previous girlfriend who would insult and emasculate him by saying that he was too short, too weak, etc., and then ended up dumping him almost three years ago after dating him for only 8 months. He continued to chase her and try to win her love, but she would give him a little bit of encouragement then reject him all over again.
Life is short and then we die, and at age 56 he's not getting any younger. What sense does it make for him chase after someone who doesn't love him or respect him when he had someone like me who did? Since it's been three years, hopefully, she's changed and can now love him the way in which he wants her to love him.
NG
Love (or mabye in this case lust and obsession) is a very strange and unreasonable thing. We can't always understand it; sometimes we just have to let it take us...
Why did you part ways when you loved and respected him??
I fell in love with him and wanted to marry him, but he did not want to marry me because he said that he did not feel the same level (or a high enough level) of intensity that he felt for the other woman.
Interestingly though, he told me that he rated our former relationship, overall, an 8 or 8.5 (out of 10), but rated the relationship with this woman a 10 when things were going well, and a 1 when they were not. He rated the intensity that he felt for her a 10, but what he felt for me was a 6 or 7.
I am worried about him, as a friend though, because he told me that when she broke up with him before, he wanted to kill himself. The only thing that stopped him was the love he had for his 16 year-old daughter. Like he compared me to her, I hope that if she starts treating him badly again, he will be able compare how I treated him and find the strength to walk away (No I don't want him back. That door has closed)
An unhealthy person may not be satisfied with a healthy relationship. He may thrive on the drama, the extremes, the challenge. Or it could be that despite the obvious problems, he thinks she's incredibly hot and worth the negatives. Yes, that's not very smart.
Good point. I think that it may be a combination of all of the above.
Love (or mabye in this case lust and obsession) is a very strange and unreasonable thing. We can't always understand it; sometimes we just have to let it take us...
I thought about that too. I just hope that if things don't turn out well this time, he doesn't do something crazy - like try and kill himself.
some people tend to stay longer in relationships that abuse them rather then healthy relationships. Often times they have a long history of such behavior.
EDIT: it will be hard trying to help him, he is too set in his ways and is a slave to his impulses.
Nicegurl...it sounds like you've done everything you can for this guy...I think it's very sweet that you are still his friend and concerned for him...I've always found it very destructive when someone threatens suicide, when things aren't going the way they want....for that reason it's probably a good thing you've moved on.....Just keep in mind that you are not responsible for ANY of his actions if/when he becomes depressed.
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