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I can see the reasons why a man would put a woman’s long dreamed marriage proposal on hold if he’s saving for her dreamy shiny ring, for a house, etc. besides, women have agreed they want a hard working man, a good provider, and so on. But why would a woman put a man on hold for more than 5 years? So now I wonder if the person who started the thread wants to finish her studies or just have some fun here and there before accepting his proposal. If this woman is done with school, has her job, and so on then what makes her think she’s not ready?
I agree that it's "MAYBE one the worst things you could do to a man", however, to me, it would be worse to accept his proposal, then lead him on when you have no intention of marrying him. That scenario ranks right up there with marrying someone, wasting craploads of yours and your parents' money on a wedding, only to get a divorce soon after....why? because you didn't want to get married...were simply doing so to spare his feelings at the moment.
I get what you're saying cdubs...but there are definitely worse things. She's trying to SPARE his feelings, by being honest....not hurt him. She cares about him, but if he can't wait til she's ready, it's probably doomed to fail.
My hubby proposed to me 3 weeks into our relationship. We lived together for nearly 2 years before getting married, because I wasn't ready. Was it living in sin? Yeah, some people thought so...but we've got nearly 30 years under our belts now, so it worked for us. Was he hurt? Sure...but he loved me enough and trusted me enough to know that it wasn't because I didn't love him...just that I wanted to make sure that we really knew each other...and once we really knew each other...everything about each other...we still wanted to marry each other. It takes time to really get to know each other. Many people divorce, because they didn't realize who they were marrying....all the good, bads and uglies. If you lose respect or pull away from someone you claim to love, just because they don't want to marry you as soon as you're ready...the relationship was headed for a divorce...period!
I agree with what you're saying, I guess that part of it was kind of assumed I my end. Yes, unfortunately too many people made the mistake you avoided, and I'm glad to hear there are people smart enough not to do so.
However, from a rejection perspective, being turned down while proposing can be devastating. It's probably one of the most nerve-racking, scary things a guy can do. He's putting everything on the line at this moment and confessing he wants to spend the rest of his life with a woman. He usually tells his closest friends and family, even gets the blessing of HER family before asking. It's a long thought out process and it can be very hard to do. Making the leap to the other ledge, then having your toes stepped on instead of helping you up on the other side....pretty hard to deal with.
Difference between you and the OP is it doesn't seem as if the OP made her feelings clear, which is resulting in her boyfriend pulling away.
I agree with what you're saying, I guess that part of it was kind of assumed I my end. Yes, unfortunately too many people made the mistake you avoided, and I'm glad to hear there are people smart enough not to do so.
However, from a rejection perspective, being turned down while proposing can be devastating. It's probably one of the most nerve-racking, scary things a guy can do. He's putting everything on the line at this moment and confessing he wants to spend the rest of his life with a woman. He usually tells his closest friends and family, even gets the blessing of HER family before asking. It's a long thought out process and it can be very hard to do. Making the leap to the other ledge, then having your toes stepped on instead of helping you up on the other side....pretty hard to deal with.
Difference between you and the OP is it doesn't seem as if the OP made her feelings clear, which is resulting in her boyfriend pulling away.
Oh my gosh, yes, it's got to be one of the scariest situations, and then then horribly humiliating to be turned down. Wouldn't it be nice though, if all women DID put themselves in the "asker's" shoes though, and considered the response that would let them know that there IS no one else...there is not even the IDEA of someone else, it's just not something to rush into without honestly KNOWING someone really well first. I'm sorry you got turned down, that had to be just horrible!
Incidentally, how many boyfriends do you have? Didn't you post, in January, that you were madly and desperately in love with a guy you'd been dating for 5 months? You were broken hearted, because things were moving too fast for him. Before him, you were in a 4 year relationship? You now say a guy you've been with for 14 months, has proposed to you, in spite of your repeated statements of not wanting to get married for 5-10 years. If this is the same guy you were worried about losing in January, wouldn't you have been together for around 7 months now?....not 14 months? Hmm this just sounds fishier and fishier, y'all!
In further reading, I discover that in August, you were still with your long-time boyfriend, with the overbearing Italian Mother. So what is it? Have you been with this guy who proposed, for 14 months? 7 months? or is this simply another guy you've had on the side, completely unrelated to the other guys? LOL
Ah, now I know why I am not married. She's dating all the men! j/k
I have made it clear to him on numerous occasions that I do not see myself getting married before my mid 30's.
That's really strange...if he is the right guy for you (which you've determined since you said you loved him) then why put an age limit for when you are getting married? Perhaps you feel your life will be drastically altered by marriage to this man? That being married will mean you will not be able to pursue some goals? If so, maybe he just isn't the right person for you at all! Just my $0.02
He might be feeling very hurt, but maybe she did him a favor!!
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You were broken hearted, because things were moving too fast for him. Before him, you were in a 4 year relationship? You now say a guy you've been with for 14 months, has proposed to you, in spite of your repeated statements of not wanting to get married for 5-10 years. If this is the same guy you were worried about losing in January, wouldn't you have been together for around 7 months now?....not 14 months? Hmm this just sounds fishier and fishier, y'all! 
