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Old 03-11-2011, 09:44 PM
 
1,799 posts, read 2,196,600 times
Reputation: 1386

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Having two adults relying on me to pay a mortgage on a house that I can't afford to pay 100% by myself and I can't rely on either of them to pick up the slack = potential financial ruin to me.
Yes, but that's not what you said.

Quote:
So basically, my mom is worried that they're going to lose the house so she called me today asking if I would be willing to move back in with them once my lease is up in a few months to help them pay the mortgage.
You said help them pay the mortgage, not pay the entire mortgage. No one recommended you financially ruin yourself for your parents.

 
Old 03-11-2011, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,398 posts, read 3,584,900 times
Reputation: 4291
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisan23 View Post
You said help them pay the mortgage, not pay the entire mortgage. No one recommended you financially ruin yourself for your parents.
Well, I said that my dad's income isn't stable at the moment and my mom has never contributed to the mortgage and still wouldn't be able to. So since I'm the only one who currently has steady, decent income, I feel like all the responsibility would fall on my shoulders. Luckily, that won't be the case for now.
 
Old 03-11-2011, 09:52 PM
 
18,099 posts, read 17,345,958 times
Reputation: 17975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Having two adults relying on me to pay a mortgage on a house that I can't afford to pay 100% by myself and I can't rely on either of them to pick up the slack = potential financial ruin to me.
The only person that suggested THAT happening, was you. Even if you were to move back in with them, you are not legally responsible for someone else's mortgage. You are making a huge leap suggesting "financial ruin" for yourself.
 
Old 03-11-2011, 09:53 PM
 
18,099 posts, read 17,345,958 times
Reputation: 17975
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisan23 View Post
Yes, but that's not what you said.



You said help them pay the mortgage, not pay the entire mortgage. No one recommended you financially ruin yourself for your parents.
Exactly. I posted before I saw yours!
 
Old 03-11-2011, 09:53 PM
 
29,990 posts, read 20,624,673 times
Reputation: 12365
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Having to pay rent of my own doesn't leave me with any extra money to just hand to them. At least not enough that would help towards their mortgage.
Sounds like your parents NEED to sell the overpriced car, the house, and become renters just like you. They have already had family members lend them $9K and that wasn't enough to help them climb out of the hole they have created for themselves where keeping the roof over their heads is concerned.

I suspect that by moving back you would only be throwing good money after bad without solving the problem and likely only temporarily prolonging the inevitable.

I think it is really sad that your parents are willing to burden you, their child, with their financial failures. Financially it sounds as though they are drowning and willing to pull you down with them.

Y'all need Dave Ramsey!
 
Old 03-11-2011, 09:58 PM
 
1,799 posts, read 2,196,600 times
Reputation: 1386
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Well, I said that my dad's income isn't stable at the moment and my mom has never contributed to the mortgage and still wouldn't be able to. So since I'm the only one who currently has steady, decent income, I feel like all the responsibility would fall on my shoulders. Luckily, that won't be the case for now.
Unstable does not equate to non-existent last time I checked. From the get go you made it sound like you'd be helping pay the mortgage, not until page 5 did you state you "felt" as if you'd have to pay the whole thing.

 
Old 03-11-2011, 10:02 PM
 
29,990 posts, read 20,624,673 times
Reputation: 12365
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisan23 View Post
If the OP really wanted to move out, she would have left. Mom begging her to stay would not have stopped her.

Disagree with you on the final point. She wouldn't have the money she has now if her parents had not allowed her to live there. OP has admitted to this, for any adult to live at home until that age rent free and simply save up money then find out that her parents are in a financial bind and then choose not to help is selfish.

Hell, I haven't lived with my parents in over 10 years but if either one of them were in serious financial trouble I would help them. They are my parents, they made more sacrifices for me than I can possibly imagine. Helping them get on their feet is the least I can do for them.
Maybe you missed the part where the OP stated she paid the utilities and her own expenses as well as $4K when her Dad needed the money ? That isn't "rent free" any way you slice it.

What constitutes "help" and what constitutes being an enabler to a financially irresponsible lifestyle seems to be a key question that the OP needs to answer for herself.
 
Old 03-11-2011, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,398 posts, read 3,584,900 times
Reputation: 4291
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisan23 View Post
Unstable does not equate to non-existent last time I checked. From the get go you made it sound like you'd be helping pay the mortgage, not until page 5 did you state you "felt" as if you'd have to pay the whole thing.

Would you like to split a rent/mortgage with someone with unstable income? Like I said, my dad doesn't discuss his finances with me, but I know if it's getting to the point where he has to borrow thousands of dollars from myself and his father, it can't be good. Since he didn't bring up the issue of moving back in with me, I can't say with any certainty how much money he'd definitely be able to come up with himself, so I automatically thought of the worst case scenario of me having to pay for it all, whether I explicitly stated that in the original post or not.
 
Old 03-11-2011, 10:09 PM
 
1,799 posts, read 2,196,600 times
Reputation: 1386
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifelongMOgal View Post
Maybe you missed the part where the OP stated she paid the utilities and her own expenses as well as $4K when her Dad needed the money ?
That isn't "rent free" any way you slice it.
Yes, well any adult would have to pay utilities wherever they lived so it was rent free and $4k doesn't add up to crap for rent divided up over the years she lived at home.

She may have paid more than her fair share in utilities, but there no way that would come anywhere near what she would have been paying if she had paid rent plus her share of utilities.

Let's do some math. Let's say the average utility bill was $200 a month. Let's assume that this arrangement has been going on for the last 8 years (if she completed college at 22). That's $19,200 over 8 years. Add in the extra $4,000 brings the total to $23,200. Divide that up by 8 years, then divide that by 12 months and her monthly rent equates to: $241.67.

That is incredibly low, far lower than what she would have been paying if she had actually been living in a place of her own and I highly doubt that amount would have equated to 1/3 of the mortgage (including tax and insurance). If it had been equal to what she would have paid in rent then she would have been unable to save the money that she has.
 
Old 03-11-2011, 10:11 PM
 
1,799 posts, read 2,196,600 times
Reputation: 1386
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Would you like to split a rent/mortgage with someone with unstable income? Like I said, my dad doesn't discuss his finances with me, but I know if it's getting to the point where he has to borrow thousands of dollars from myself and his father, it can't be good. Since he didn't bring up the issue of moving back in with me, I can't say with any certainty how much money he'd definitely be able to come up with himself, so I automatically thought of the worst case scenario of me having to pay for it all, whether I explicitly stated that in the original post or not.
My husbands work is incredibly unstable. That being said, I honestly think that we live our lives much more financially intelligent than your own parents. We know his income changes from paycheck to paycheck and we plan accordingly.

And like I had already stated, if my parents were in financial trouble I would do anything and everything I could to help them out including help pay their mortgage and I moved out of their house when I was 16.
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