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Old 03-11-2011, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,070 posts, read 3,165,256 times
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Default Crush on Married Coworker...

Yes, I know it sounds very bad, but is it ok to have a crush on a married co-worker as long as you don't act on it? A crush meaning that you look forward to seeing them and you have lustful thoughts about them, but you don't actually talk to them or spend any time with them that isn't work-related.
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:39 PM
 
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Absolutely, lust away, have sexy dreams about them, etc.

Just don't take it any further...and keep it to yourself.
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:49 PM
 
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You can't help your thoughts, but no longing looks, flirtatious comments or anything else what so ever.
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Old 03-11-2011, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Niagara Falls ON.
8,787 posts, read 4,375,535 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
You can't help your thoughts, but no longing looks, flirtatious comments or anything else what so ever.
We certainly can control our thoughts and it's a very important skill for those who desire to live to their own moral standard whatever that may be. Don't forget that the thought always preceeds the deed and by not attempting to control our thoughts of things we claim we would never do is actually the first step in doing those things. I think it might be important for you to try through self examination why you have thoughts of doing something you claim you would never do.

I had a friend who claimed he would never cheat on his wife but he loved looking at beautiful women in what I percieved was in a lustful way. He claimed there was nothing wrong with it but I told him that the thought was almost as bad as the deed and he should try to prevail against it. Well he didn't and sure enough he had an affair that hurt so many people himself included of course,his wife, his kids and his friends. So much for the idea of "Harmless" thoughts. I call them indulgences and I know that I can't afford them in my life.
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Old 03-12-2011, 09:50 AM
 
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NO, it's an absolute waste of your time to have a crush on a married man, surely you can find someone not married to focus on!!!
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Old 03-12-2011, 11:55 AM
 
946 posts, read 1,253,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
You can't help your thoughts, but no longing looks, flirtatious comments or anything else what so ever.
I agree. As long as it's an innocent crush and you have no thoughts of pursuing anything further, then it's just a fantasy and who doesn't have any of those? I sometimes fantasize about some of my professors even though I know they're married...so what? It's just a fantasy. I'm not going to act on it.
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Old 03-12-2011, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
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Default Crush on Married Coworker... Reply to Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Absolutely, lust away, have sexy dreams about them, etc.

Just don't take it any further...and keep it to yourself.
Too late! She's already let the cat out of the bag... You don't think for one minute we are going to overlook the fun this post could be, do you?
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Old 03-12-2011, 01:06 PM
 
2,421 posts, read 3,046,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Yes, I know it sounds very bad, but is it ok to have a crush on a married co-worker as long as you don't act on it? A crush meaning that you look forward to seeing them and you have lustful thoughts about them, but you don't actually talk to them or spend any time with them that isn't work-related.
I've been there back when I had an office job. He was my co-worker that I worked closely with. He was extremely good looking. I was 12 yrs younger and happily married, but still looked forward to working w/ him everyday. We sometimes would sit for hours working on a project together. At first our talk was all work related, but as time went on we'd talk about ourselves. He was married too and loved talking about his kids. As time went on, we got more emmotionally connected, but we never crossed the line. I know there were feelings there, eyes don't lie. There were a couple of times we caught eachother in a stare and had to look away. Thank goodness both of us were strong enough to respect our spouses and not act on a moment.

Enjoy your crush. Just be careful.
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Old 03-12-2011, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
5,070 posts, read 3,165,256 times
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Moderator cut: Removed reference to deleted comment.

I'm more of the quiet, shy type so if I'm lusting after him, I know that lots of other women are too and not everyone is going to be meek like me and will probably flirt with him. Honestly, I'm kind of at the point now where I'm thinking that the majority of men will cheat if they have the opportunity. If I ever get married, I will probably decide ahead of time to excuse at least one instance of cheating because I think it's kind of inevitable. Am I being too pessimistic?

Last edited by JustJulia; 03-14-2011 at 06:51 AM..
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Old 03-12-2011, 02:53 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 3,159,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Absolutely, lust away, have sexy dreams about them, etc.

Just don't take it any further...and keep it to yourself.
^^This.
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