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Old 03-13-2011, 06:18 PM
 
552 posts, read 395,276 times
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Laugh all you want, but people only go to clubs to find a sex toy to hook up with. They don't have respect for you or themselves. The fact that he got drunk and ditched you shows how little he thought of you to begin with. You aren't going to find someone in a club for a long term relationship. I don't know anyone who has.
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:20 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 7,273,397 times
Reputation: 10060
Quote:
Originally Posted by CruisingUSA View Post
LOL...


Well, I guess I can consider myself lucky. And you know what? The same way that guy treated me, he's going to treat all those other guys the same way. And I think I'm catching onto something....if a guy can come pick me up from a bar, get into my car and come home with me...then he's probably letting every other guy from the club do the same thing
Congrats, you have just learned a lesson some people don't even get in their 50s. Always remember what you've said here, because it applies to a lot of other situation you may encounter.

If you want a relationship, and it sounds like you do, a club isn't where you are likely to meet men who are relationship material. It's time you to come up with a new game plan.

PS - next time someone disses you like that in public, just walk away. Yelling and screaming - even though you were in the right - only makes you look bad. Don't be the show that entertains all of the onlookers.
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:52 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,692,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CruisingUSA View Post
Although I wasn't so bent to making him the jerk behave, I was going to let him know in front of all his friends that neither he or the person he came back with was not going to disrespect me in the way that they was doing.
Eh, I think you crossed the line there, even further evidenced by the fact that the security guard tossed you out afterward. The truth of it is, there are some jerks in the world. You calling him out in front of all his friends accomplished nothing. He's a jerk. He's likely friends with jerks who think he's awesome for being a jerk. By screaming at him and making a huge scene, you are just going to get yourself in trouble and make yourself look pitiful. It will do nothing to make him respect you, or make his friends respect you, or make anyone there respect you. If they are respectable people, they would have already been appalled. As it was, they weren't. You just made a fool out of yourself trying to demand the respect of people who would never respect you to begin with. Learn to walk away.

I would argue that while there are probably some quality people in bars who are looking for a real, committed relationship, the vast majority are going to be random people looking for hook-ups. People go to bars for a reason. I fear that for the most part you will be wasting your time to devote your energies there. Look for activities you can participate in where you can meet new people and find nice men who might be interested in the same things you are.
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Old 03-13-2011, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
697 posts, read 1,108,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CruisingUSA View Post


I really don't know anywhere else to meet guys I'm sorry. Even a guy I met at the gym had a boyfriend and was trying to get with me. So my only options seem to be the clubs or online. But if I have to do without either one, I most definitely will! Loneliness equals happiness...


Hi, you must be in Utah or Colorado LOL. I'm in Colorado!
The last thread you started people gave you multiple options I still don't see why you insist you can only meet people in a club or online. Plus you are in Colorado - there are lots of outdoor activities. Try searching for a group or a club that does these - whether it's a rec league like softball or something like ski/kayaking/rock climbing. There is also the volunteer route too, Habitat for Humanity seems to be popular with young professionals here.
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Old 03-13-2011, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 545,881 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ncsualum2004 View Post
The last thread you started people gave you multiple options I still don't see why you insist you can only meet people in a club or online. Plus you are in Colorado - there are lots of outdoor activities. Try searching for a group or a club that does these - whether it's a rec league like softball or something like ski/kayaking/rock climbing. There is also the volunteer route too, Habitat for Humanity seems to be popular with young professionals here.
Ok, well this week I will start and try to look for places like that to attend to. Besides, many of the guys in the clubs are out of shape or 'barely' in shape. And if they are, they're busy trying to take what's not theirs or got someone else in the picture.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Unfortunately, you probably furnished some cheap entertainment rather than taught people to respect you. You already knew the guy was an a-hole, but have a little dignity man.
Okay, its easy to say that. And even I say that sometimes when I see people acting like idiots. But, when you are in the heat of the moment...you don't know how you're going to react. Its only natural to react. I kept my cool. I spoke to other guys even when I realized I couldn't find him. For him to come back to me and lie that he didn't meet anyone was the 1st mistake. I was trying to let the other guy who he came back with know, "look...this is my date for tonight. I paid for Taxi here, and parked at his apartment's garage. He needs to do his part to get me back where I was, and then I don't care what you all do."

But instead, the guy was persistent and rude about taking my date with me. Telling me to find my way home, and that he was all of a sudden his. He instigated me to the point I gotten to. It could have gotten worse, I could have started breaking glasses, throwing chairs, and really creating a scenario. And whatever happened, he would have deserved. Because to humiliate and test someone that you're going to take someone else's date generally ends up with someone dead. But I didn't go that route. I got upset with my date because HE was responsible for allowing it to get to that point, and I was not going to argue 'over' him, I was going to argue 'at' him.

If people are entertained that I raised my voice to put someone in their place and shake up the situation, they need to get a life and mind their own business.
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:28 AM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 545,881 times
Reputation: 197
Default 1 more thing I don't understand about people who go to clubs...

I'll keep it short. But how can someone go to a club, just for 'me' time or to just go alone and be all alone?

If I want to listen to music and drink and be alone, I could do that from the comfort of my home! Its cheaper, the music is better and the drinks are endless!

What do people play up this front that they're just going to a place filled with people, just to be alone?
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:34 AM
 
343 posts, read 265,972 times
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Is this what they tell you when you go up to them?

If so, It's a nice way of saying I'm not interested.
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Denver
339 posts, read 545,881 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donna in AZ View Post
Is this what they tell you when you go up to them?

If so, It's a nice way of saying I'm not interested.
Not everyone, but I've had a few people who say that. And its true because they'll be in the corner all alone...so its not like they're with a group of friends on the dance floor and tell me, "oh I just wanna be by myself"
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:39 AM
 
2,648 posts, read 1,340,145 times
Reputation: 3403
The first thing I thought was "Are these people by chance of the opposite gender?"
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:41 AM
 
Location: Spring Branch
11 posts, read 7,598 times
Reputation: 19
If I'm going to a "CLUB" alone, it's not for alone time. Not that I do but if I did..........lol.
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