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-Honesty is the best policy!
-A coffee shop is a *very* good place to start a relationship!
Go to the grocery store. Find a cashier you like. Stand in her line. If she smiles at you more so than the 50 year old bald fat guy in front of you in line, that means she might be interested. Compliment her on something. Say she is fast at checking or something. If she blushes or gives you a big smile, then that means MAYBE. Give her a card with your phone number on it. Say if she would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime, to give you a call.
Keep doing that with women you meet.
When one of them calls, offer to meet her at a coffee shop or go pick her up and take her to the coffee shop. (Her choice.)
When you get to the coffee shop, get your coffee and sit down. Then be honest. Say you have never dated before and you need help learning how to date. And then talk about that! Ask questions about dating and how to do it. Tell her you like her and would like to see her again, but don't know how to ask. Or what to suggest that you do (movie, dinner, etc.).
Basically express your feelings about her. Talk about your fears of dating. Say what is on your mind.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you!
Also place yourself in situations where you can meet and talk to women. Bars are the WORST place to meet anyone for a long term relationship, but would be a good place to practice and ask questions about dating. Ask the bartender. Ask other guys. Just say you are not good at it and would like some tips. Go to a bar and sit next to a woman. Just start talking. Some women may try to "pick you up" (may want sex). If you are not comfortable with that, just say no. Say you are not ready yet. Or whatever. Just be honest.
Also there is craigslist.org free personals (find your city, then personals). Read what the women there have to say. Many are having trouble meeting men! You would have something in common.
Once you get the hang of it, then the best place to meet women for a long term relationship is right next door. Go for walks around your neighborhood. Say hi to the neighbors. Volunteer for various groups. People who do volunteer work are good people.
-Honesty is the best policy!
-A coffee shop is a *very* good place to start a relationship!
Go to the grocery store. Find a cashier you like. Stand in her line. If she smiles at you more so than the 50 year old bald fat guy in front of you in line, that means she might be interested. Compliment her on something. Say she is fast at checking or something. If she blushes or gives you a big smile, then that means MAYBE. Give her a card with your phone number on it. Say if she would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime, to give you a call.
Keep doing that with women you meet.
When one of them calls, offer to meet her at a coffee shop or go pick her up and take her to the coffee shop. (Her choice.)
When you get to the coffee shop, get your coffee and sit down. Then be honest. Say you have never dated before and you need help learning how to date. And then talk about that! Ask questions about dating and how to do it. Tell her you like her and would like to see her again, but don't know how to ask. Or what to suggest that you do (movie, dinner, etc.).
Basically express your feelings about her. Talk about your fears of dating. Say what is on your mind.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes you!
Also place yourself in situations where you can meet and talk to women. Bars are the WORST place to meet anyone for a long term relationship, but would be a good place to practice and ask questions about dating. Ask the bartender. Ask other guys. Just say you are not good at it and would like some tips. Go to a bar and sit next to a woman. Just start talking. Some women may try to "pick you up" (may want sex). If you are not comfortable with that, just say no. Say you are not ready yet. Or whatever. Just be honest.
Also there is craigslist.org free personals (find your city, then personals). Read what the women there have to say. Many are having trouble meeting men! You would have something in common.
Once you get the hang of it, then the best place to meet women for a long term relationship is right next door. Go for walks around your neighborhood. Say hi to the neighbors. Volunteer for various groups. People who do volunteer work are good people.
do this if u never want to see them again.. if i were the girl i'd run
do this if u never want to see them again.. if i were the girl i'd run
Yeah, you should be honest, but that doesn't mean you tell them EVERYTHING. I agree, if you just tell them that, your chances of getting another date are slim to none
Because I have good looks (just take my word for it) am confident, in shape, have a decent job...yet still, no girl? If I was hideous or something then at least I could reason a little bit but I'm so far from those supposedly undesirable traits that I'm left wondering why?
I know the bulk of my problem is finding the right type of girl. Unfortunately, I never took advantage of my good attributes to get girls when I was in school so now I feel very much left out...and sad.
Where can I meet girls? I live in the suburbs and drive to and from work everyday -- hardly do I meet anybody new.
I think you are trying too hard. There is a lot of truth to that. You said that you have tried the "not look method" and nothing happened. Many people proffess at different times of their life that their done with men/ women, etc., but they really aren't. Try just having a good time. Be friendly with everybody, even girls your not into. You'd be surprised how that works. When I was in college, there wasn't a week that went buy that some girl wasn't hitting on me. Many times I never even knew that such and such girl was interested in me. It's because I wasn't looking. I was too busy having fun with my friends and being myself. It didn't hurt that I was popular and was always at parties. This is true. Confidence is very important. If you don't like yourself-who will?
But seriously, I think you need some friends that want to go to bars, bowl, the mall anywhere with you. Just some where were there are women. If a women sees a guy is constantly alone, they'll deem them lonely. Not a good look. When you are with alot of people you look "friendly". Much easier to approach. Don't look desperate. Smile alot and laugh alot. Women will pick up on this. Be approachable. Women will not go up to a guy if he looks to serious or mad, or mean. Look friendly. Be funny. Women love a good time just as much as a guy does. They will date a man who looks less than them if he can make them laugh and they know that they will have a good time with him.
Alot of people say these things are old, but their not. Most importantly, and I've already said it, be nice to everybody. Not just girls you like. Women pick up on this. If your nice to every girl, you come off as a genuine guy. Women do talk to each other. If your a kind person to everyone, they will talk. Word gets out about how a person really is.
So all in all.
1) Be confident,-It's not over-rated. Women don't want a man that lacks it.
2) Be nice to everyone. That's ugly people, good looking, fat, skinny, whatever. Just be friendly. Women notice and women talk.
3) Lose the cockiness. It isn't that attractive to anyone, male or female.
4) Become more aware..Chances are you have had women in the past like you, but you have failed to pick up their vibe. Like I said I had many girls come up to me that I had no idea they liked me. If someone likes you enough, they will initiate. When they do, you have to be aware. Because unless your aware, your never going to get anywhere.
5) Stop trying so hard. I know you said that for 24 years you have been this way, but I don't buy it. If you truly are as good looking as you say (which I believe) then truly you are missing all the subtle hints. Therefore, maybe you aren't being aware or approachable..
6) Smile alot and laugh. You can never go wrong with these things.
7) Don't look for the hottest girl. Look for the girl with a good attitude, decent looking and shows a caring side. Looks are only so important in the end. Took me many years to realize this.
I know I have beaten the same points to death, but I don't care. These are things that have worked for me.
And good luck.
P.s. I had a friend in college who was very good looking. He liked women who were beneath him (looks wise) and they wouldn't pay him the time of day. Why? Because he had no confidence. So for whoever said it, don't tell me confidence doesnt' matter. I wouldn't date a girl who looked sad or lacked confidence. It works both ways..Why do you think the same people get all the girls/boys..Because they believe in themselves. They walk with an attitude that says, hey, if you don't want me, on to the next person..It really does work..There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. You need to find the right balance.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 01-25-2012 at 12:20 PM..
Because I have good looks (just take my word for it) am confident, in shape, have a decent job...yet still, no girl? If I was hideous or something then at least I could reason a little bit but I'm so far from those supposedly undesirable traits that I'm left wondering why?
I know the bulk of my problem is finding the right type of girl. Unfortunately, I never took advantage of my good attributes to get girls when I was in school so now I feel very much left out...and sad.
Where can I meet girls? I live in the suburbs and drive to and from work everyday -- hardly do I meet anybody new.
You need to get you a crew. At 24 you can do the bar thing and meet a few trollops. Consider it like the wilder beast going to the watering hole and the men are the gators. LOL.. Enjoy your youth bit play it safe.
Being a virgin isn't that big a deal compared to being in child support court with some woman who you don't know or don't want to get to know. as one poster suggested take a vacation and become whomever you want to be and then just go home not a virgin.
Yeah, you should be honest, but that doesn't mean you tell them EVERYTHING. I agree, if you just tell them that, your chances of getting another date are slim to none
The goal of the first few dates would be to learn. Many people are quite happy to help with advice. And you may make a friend*.
Also some women have trouble finding men as well. If you can both be honest about that from the get go, then you will have something in common and something to talk about.
And you are what you are. If someone wants something you are not, and they go running for the hills, then good! You can't pretend to be something you are not for very long.
Look at it the other way around. If you met a woman who said she was filthy rich, was a 10 in looks, and she said she had tons of experience with dating, and had a perfect personality, would you be comfortable around that person?
However if you meet someone and she says I am not very good at dating and don't have much experience. I don't make much money. I am good at some things, but not very good at doing other things, etc. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable around that person?
In movies people are perfect. In real life, people are less than perfect and can relate better to others in the same boat!
*BTW - Long term relationships start with being friends. You both have things in common, like to do the same things, like to talk about the same things, etc.
Stop looking for a long term girlfriend and start looking for a hot girl to nail, then see where it goes from there. You can't meet a girl and start in a long term relationship, find someone hot that you think is nice, and just spend time and try to get laid and see where it goes from there.
you must try internet dating. maybe you can find your soul mate there,. if not, atleast you can socialite as many as you can. you will never be sad anymore. and as what you said, you have a good looks. so, go! time for you to pick your girl.
Lord almighty there's some $hit advice on this forum. It isn't that hard to meet someone. Join a gym, start going to spin or yoga classes regularly, and make conversation with the instructor so that people in the class can hear your voice, see that your friendly, outgoing, etc. It'll show you're not a creeper.
Inevitably, someone, usually a girl, will join in the light conversation and there you go - you've met someone. That, or when you leave you can walk alongside agirl you like, make a few jokes, repeat process for a feww weeks. Eventually say, "how about a drink" as you're leaving, nice and nonchalantly. Something like that.
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do this if u never want to see them again.. if i were the girl i'd run
