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Old 03-15-2011, 03:02 PM
 
7,902 posts, read 5,043,730 times
Reputation: 3118
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
You're so considerate.
I feel no particular obligation to be polite in the face of such nonsense.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:08 PM
 
Location: in the Southeast
334 posts, read 271,141 times
Reputation: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strel View Post
I feel no particular obligation to be polite in the face of such nonsense.
Okay, so clearly you disagree with abstinence and/or celibacy. You've made that abundantly clear. Why keep beating people over the head with it?? Geez... your opinion has been heard loud and clear.

Please understand that everyone is different and everyone has different values. Why can't you respect others' values even as you disagree with them? I don't believe in sex before marriage, but you'll never find me here or anywhere else dropping little snide remarks to try to make people feel bad about the choices they make with THEIR bodies. To each his own. Maybe instead of being tortured by their abstinence, they would be tortured by regret. TO EACH HIS OWN. Let it go, dude. Geez.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
12,209 posts, read 7,330,364 times
Reputation: 9624
Quote:
Originally Posted by strel View Post
i feel no particular obligation to be polite in the face of such nonsense.
Hehehehe.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:16 PM
 
7,902 posts, read 5,043,730 times
Reputation: 3118
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeingMe404 View Post
Okay, so clearly you disagree with abstinence and/or celibacy. You've made that abundantly clear. Why keep beating people over the head with it?? Geez... your opinion has been heard loud and clear.
Please understand that everyone is different and everyone has different values. Why can't you respect others' values even as you disagree with them? I don't believe in sex before marriage, but you'll never find me here or anywhere else dropping little snide remarks to try to make people feel bad about the choices they make with THEIR bodies. To each his own. Maybe instead of being tortured by their abstinence, they would be tortured by regret. TO EACH HIS OWN. Let it go, dude. Geez.
Or what?

She has made this a public issue by posting it here on this board. You have your opinion, I have mine.

I think it a shame and a tragedy that these two young people are living in sexual repression. I think it is unnatural and harmful. The poor guy is obviously living with some..discomfort.

I proposed a very practical solution to her problem. HAVE SEX.

I am offended by the very idea that God would be angry with them for doing only what is natural and healthy for people their age.

It trivializes God. What kind of God cares whether people have sex or not?

One would think He would have more important things to worry about.

Plus, they could always do it Catholic style. Just do it and ask forgiveness later.

I'm sure Jesus would understand. He did hang out with hookers occassionally.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:18 PM
 
Location: in the Southeast
334 posts, read 271,141 times
Reputation: 269
Ok. You win. Please continue to post several more replies saying the same thing repeatedly. 20, if you can. Maybe even 25. I mean, yeah... that would be pretty cool.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,384 posts, read 3,397,328 times
Reputation: 6784
I don't know the answer to that, OP. However, if he succeeds, you may experience some future disappointment.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:21 PM
 
6 posts, read 20,838 times
Reputation: 24
If he's pulling away because he's aroused, it certainly happens quickly. One time we were kissing on my bed (I live in a studio w/o a couch and so we sit on the bed to watch movies) and he was very passionate- kissed my neck, had never done that before, but then he just pulled away completely, leaned back, and closed his eyes- he stayed like that for about 5 minutes, until I finally asked him if he was okay. I didn't press him further about it, as it was late at night after a really difficult work week, and I didn't think it was the time to have that conversation.

JustBeingMe404 and meh_whatever, I think you both gave advice to the tune of, let him do what he needs to to respect you and your mutual decision to wait, and don't push it. I really appreciate that because, having almost no experience, it is difficult for me to not want to push it- I've always been so reserved that this new side of me comes as a big surprise, but when we're kissing everything else goes away and I just keep going. I'm lucky that he has so much self control, and I need to get responsible myself and learn to pull back, too. thanks for talking some sense into me!
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
12,209 posts, read 7,330,364 times
Reputation: 9624
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeingMe404 View Post
Ok. You win. Please continue to post several more replies saying the same thing repeatedly. 20, if you can. Maybe even 25. I mean, yeah... that would be pretty cool.
Well, he is presenting an alternative viewpoint.

The OP can choose to ignore it, or to consider it and see what this all means to her down the road.

Just sayin'.



I think those two kids are kinda sweet because they wanna wait. But... there are benefits to finding out if you're sexually compatible before marriage.

I'd hate to save myself up for someone then find out later, after we were married, that we just did NOT have the chemistry going on in the bedroom.

Man, that'd suck.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
12,209 posts, read 7,330,364 times
Reputation: 9624
Quote:
Originally Posted by meredev View Post
If he's pulling away because he's aroused, it certainly happens quickly. One time we were kissing on my bed (I live in a studio w/o a couch and so we sit on the bed to watch movies) and he was very passionate- kissed my neck, had never done that before, but then he just pulled away completely, leaned back, and closed his eyes- he stayed like that for about 5 minutes, until I finally asked him if he was okay. I didn't press him further about it, as it was late at night after a really difficult work week, and I didn't think it was the time to have that conversation.

JustBeingMe404 and meh_whatever, I think you both gave advice to the tune of, let him do what he needs to to respect you and your mutual decision to wait, and don't push it. I really appreciate that because, having almost no experience, it is difficult for me to not want to push it- I've always been so reserved that this new side of me comes as a big surprise, but when we're kissing everything else goes away and I just keep going. I'm lucky that he has so much self control, and I need to get responsible myself and learn to pull back, too. thanks for talking some sense into me!
meredev,

Most young guys can get an erection in a few seconds. No kidding.

My husband is 30, and we started dating when he was 24. It was pretty much instantaneous when we'd start kissing seriously.

So, there ya go. He's respecting what he sees as your boundaries.

I do think you two should have a talk about the real boundaries of your relationship regarding kissing, affection, what is and isn't okay...

I mean, if it's okay for you two to do pretty much everything but actually have intercourse, you should tell him that.

Maybe not straight out, but you should feel things out to see what things might be okay with the both of you as the relationship progresses.

Saves confusion later.
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Old 03-15-2011, 03:29 PM
 
3,093 posts, read 1,867,488 times
Reputation: 965
This is a sign from him that you need to cut back on your level of affection or it will eventually turn sexual as the tension will be too great.
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