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Old 03-18-2011, 12:12 AM
 
570 posts, read 783,656 times
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I am a straight male. And I believe in God. I believe homosexuality is a sin. However, as where it ranks on the seriousness of a sin - I don't know. This is not what the thread is about, but it is necessary that you know where I stand for the following.



I have had a couple of gay men in my life that were attracted to me. Plus I'm sure there were other gay men that I've came across that respected that I was straight even though they were attracted to me. I do not mind being friends with a gay guy. As long as the gay guy has a good personalty and same hobbies, etc, and doesn't try to flirt/sexually stare/anything creepy/etc at me. If it turns out the gay guy has a thing for me, yes I'd stop being friends with him and cut off contact. Just the same as how many men and women can't stay friends most times in those situations.



There are obviously non-creepy gay men, and creepy gay men.


My example of a non-creepy gay man - one who I could become friends with, is one who is open about his sexuality if asked, respects men and women, and enjoys life.

My example of a creepy gay man - would be one that hides the fact that he is gay, secretly tries to become friends with straight males in attempts to satisfy his perverted attempts at his sexual gratification, flirts/sexual talk towards straight males that he knows are uninterested, staring creepily all the time at straight males or a particular male that has already told him to leave him alone.






It honestly makes me feel disgusted/sickened/unclean/morally hurt/angered when a creepy gay man repeatedly makes sexual overtones/advances towards me after telling the creep I'm straight multiple times.


I have had women try to pursue me before, and one that has tried for almost 2 years now, however, I have never felt creeped out by a woman I am definitely not interested in , pursuing me, making physical contact, or undressing me with her eyes or making sexual flirts with me, etc.


My main question is , is what I felt above, the same feeling a women would have if a guy she was definitely not interested in kept pursuing her?

B.c if it is , I really never want to look the wrong way at a woman I like again and take things at her pace.

 
Old 03-18-2011, 12:26 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,542,478 times
Reputation: 39866
Plain and simple, you're homophobic. You are feeling real revulsion. Most women being pursued by men they aren't interested in just feel annoyed. It just is what it is, homophobia. But hey, that CAN be overcome

Oh, and FYI, sin is sin, it all separates us from God, no need to try to rank them in any order, lol.
 
Old 03-18-2011, 12:29 AM
 
3,409 posts, read 3,970,423 times
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I've never once been called creepy. At least any of the ones I know or talk to. I'm sure some on here think I am due to my job or hobbies but that certainly isn't so. My kinda creep has to keep a 100% clean record! I never give off the creep vibe. I can and DO give off the don't F with me vibe. When a person carries themselves in such a way that people leave you alone but aren't creeped, you have that balance. Who is creepy? I saw a guy go into the gas station I was in today and he looked sure enough like he was about to rob the place. He was white trash and looked stoned with rotted teeth, filthy (not from working) clothes and smelled like B.O. I also saw him staring at a pretty about 16 or 17 year old girl walking to her car. He stared and stared and stared. Like the kind you should ask him to take a picture, it will last longer. I don't know what I did, but when he saw me he shut up and bolted out of the place with his smokes. I wonder if he was going to rob the joint? Who knows, but he was weird as F!!!
 
Old 03-18-2011, 12:36 AM
 
Location: My House
34,603 posts, read 28,974,707 times
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I dunno if the OP is homophobic. I do think he finds the idea of some dude leering at him a bit unsettling. That's not necessarily homophobia.

Homophobia for sure would be a total aversion to all gays. He has said he's cool with gay men who aren't hitting on him.

I have a good number of gay and lesbian friends.

I've had creepy guys who would not leave me alone AND I've had at least one lesbian. No. Two lesbians who absolutely weirded me out.

I dunno. I think some people can just give a person the heebies.

Otoh, I don't find anything morally wrong with homosexuality. Takes all kinds to make up this world.
 
Old 03-18-2011, 12:39 AM
 
3,409 posts, read 3,970,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
I dunno if the OP is homophobic. I do think he finds the idea of some dude leering at him a bit unsettling. That's not necessarily homophobia.

Homophobia for sure would be a total aversion to all gays. He has said he's cool with gay men who aren't hitting on him.

I have a good number of gay and lesbian friends.

I've had creepy guys who would not leave me alone AND I've had at least one lesbian. No. Two lesbians who absolutely weirded me out.

I dunno. I think some people can just give a person the heebies.

Otoh, I don't find anything morally wrong with homosexuality. Takes all kinds to make up this world.
This guy looked like he wanted to kidnap the girl, rob the place and go home to get high. I may have ruined his day. I think I scared him.
 
Old 03-18-2011, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,339,577 times
Reputation: 8667
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
I dunno if the OP is homophobic. I do think he finds the idea of some dude leering at him a bit unsettling. That's not necessarily homophobia.

Homophobia for sure would be a total aversion to all gays. He has said he's cool with gay men who aren't hitting on him.
And then goes to exquisite lengths to label them "perverted".

If they're so sinful, creepy (trademark 2011 @ C-D Relationships) and perverted, why does he even remain friends with them?

It seems he's trying to compartmentalize his homophobia but I would say that he definitely has it to a certain degree, and anything less than full acceptance is homophobia.
 
Old 03-18-2011, 05:28 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 22,019,784 times
Reputation: 19908
Some people are creepy and some are not. To me it has nothing to do with being Gay. As a straight woman I have been approached by Lesbians and never found it creepy. I was flattered , smiled and explained I was not Lesbian.

We were in Provincetown during "Women's week" , 18 months ago and Hubby left me in a cafe to go and take some photos and I could not believe how many women tried to pick me up... I think if Hubby ever leaves me and I decide to give batting for the other team a go , I shall do rather nicely.

A couple looked genuinely disappointed when I told them I was waiting for my Husband. I did not take it as creepy or a sign that I looked "Lesbian" ( whatever that would be, I know a lot of people who have issues with Homosexuality seem to find it threatening to their own sexuality).

As long as someone is nice and charming about it and not abusive or disgusting what is the issue ?


Hubby also keeps telling me that there is nothing wrong about someone finding you attractive be they Gay or straight and he seems pretty flattered when Gay men have shown interest in him.

He would be uncomfortable I think if someone was being overtly sexual about it but to be honest as a woman men who try to pick you up by being sexual too are pretty creepy to me now.

To me creepy is down to personality and individuality not sexuality. I don't think I would be too upset if the whole world, male and female thought I was a Goddess ! I wish.

Some men for example are wonderful at making you feel attractive , even when you know it is more about the thrill of the chase ( places like Italy it is almost a game for them but they tend to be charming with it) ,others are gross and make disgusting innuendoes and treat you like their next bedhopping conquest. That to me is about the biggest turn off there is.

Many straight men are uncomfortable with Gay men showing an interest, I think often it makes them feel as though someone might take them to be Gay too which for some people would be worse than getting Cancer.

I think it is mildly Homophobic, as it shows a certain level of discomfort , but surely a man who is hetero is perfectly capable of simply shrugging it off , being pleasant about it and leaving it at that ? So what if some Gay guy finds you attractive. Sounds like a compliment to me.

Better someone finding you sexy and attractive than ugly as a bug and repulsive.
 
Old 03-18-2011, 06:07 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 1,923,665 times
Reputation: 1588
I've had several lesbian friends. I'm straight as an arrow. My first friend that was lesbian always made sure when she introduced me to other lesbians that she said, "she's straight." Always was respected...
 
Old 03-18-2011, 06:24 AM
 
Location: My House
34,603 posts, read 28,974,707 times
Reputation: 25588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big-Bad-John View Post
This guy looked like he wanted to kidnap the girl, rob the place and go home to get high. I may have ruined his day. I think I scared him.
LOL!
 
Old 03-18-2011, 06:31 AM
 
Location: My House
34,603 posts, read 28,974,707 times
Reputation: 25588
There are plenty of people who, due to their religious beliefs, find homosexuality to be a perversion.

If such a person has made the effort to be gracious to all gay men except those who appear to be attracted to him and refusing to acknowledge that he's just not interested, he's far more gracious than many people who simply avoid gays entirely.


That said, I do think that learning to be flattered is the best course of action. I'm flattered when people find me attractive, totally independent of their sexual orientation.

This may well be due to my complete acceptance of homosexuality, though.
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