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Old 03-20-2011, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
6,842 posts, read 3,414,207 times
Reputation: 9516
Normally when someone seeks validation for their behavior, I sense they ARE wrong and just do not want to face up to it. I think the situation as you describe it is different.

IF your roommate wants a sleep over on occassion, that is their business. If the sleepover becomes a live-in, it is everyone's business. If the addition cannot get along, then both of them should go.
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Old 03-20-2011, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
3,983 posts, read 3,021,173 times
Reputation: 5308
Now you see why it is not a good idea to rent someone a room without having a written contract. The visiting girl friend has no right to voice her opinion at all, and what you charge is up to you, it doesn't have anything to do with what rent you have to pay.Stick with your decision, don't let her move it, if you do you'll have trouble getting her to move back out. I would tell them that you are going to move and they have 30 days to move the boy friends stuff out of your house and find another place to live. No where does it say you have to base what you charge for a room on what you pay the rent the whole apartment. Next time, don't let them know what you pay, it is none of their business.
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Old 03-20-2011, 11:16 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,626,459 times
Reputation: 3878
Sounds like the situation isn't working out. I don't think 2 weeks is reasonable. No matter if he's on the lease or not, you allowed him to stay in a renter situation, so you can't just kick him out that way without getting into trouble. Also keep in mind that even though you thought it was just a nice thing on the side and no one else's business, in reality, your landlord may have rules about not having additional people stay there. I've had that clause in every lease agreement I signed. Be careful that you don't get yourself into trouble here.

I would tell the GF that you're sorry, but the landlord said he has to leave and that she can't be seen on the premises again because of neighbor complaints. Heck, say the cops were called and you were warned. Doesn't matter if it's true. Tell the roommate tonight that he has a month to find a new place and that his GF can't be coming over any more.

And in the future, don't be letting people move in this way. You're going to be a mom and your child needs a stable, safe place to grow up, not witness fighting and screaming.
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Old 03-20-2011, 11:22 AM
 
1,059 posts, read 717,593 times
Reputation: 1032
yea I feel if he wants to have someone spend the night or sleepover its his business which is why I told them twice a week is fine. But then it turned into every night she was spending the night which is not ok.

It's a bit off topic but me and the girl work for the same company (Chase Bank) and I know for a fact she makes more than me so why should I support her?

I think the 30 day notice is good, ill even give it in writting so nothing else can be said and I just wont answer when his mom calls that way I dont have to hear any begging.
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Old 03-20-2011, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
3,983 posts, read 3,021,173 times
Reputation: 5308
Default Am I being too mean or am I reasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by h886 View Post
Sounds like the situation isn't working out. I don't think 2 weeks is reasonable. No matter if he's on the lease or not, you allowed him to stay in a renter situation, so you can't just kick him out that way without getting into trouble. Also keep in mind that even though you thought it was just a nice thing on the side and no one else's business, in reality, your landlord may have rules about not having additional people stay there. I've had that clause in every lease agreement I signed. Be careful that you don't get yourself into trouble here.

I would tell the GF that you're sorry, but the landlord said he has to leave and that she can't be seen on the premises again because of neighbor complaints. Heck, say the cops were called and you were warned. Doesn't matter if it's true. Tell the roommate tonight that he has a month to find a new place and that his GF can't be coming over any more.

And in the future, don't be letting people move in this way. You're going to be a mom and your child needs a stable, safe place to grow up, not witness fighting and screaming.

h886
Your post doesn't say a lot for your character. You advise a person to deliberately lie when they could tell the truth as easily? Shame be upon you.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:00 PM
 
1,059 posts, read 717,593 times
Reputation: 1032
I think h886 was trying to help me find a way out of the situation with as little confrontation as possible. Even if that means telling a little fib.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:11 PM
 
Location: in the Southeast
334 posts, read 285,205 times
Reputation: 269
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
h886
Your post doesn't say a lot for your character. You advise a person to deliberately lie when they could tell the truth as easily? Shame be upon you.
I was going to say something similar.

I'm just not sure why anyone would advise her to compromise her integrity when she can accomplish a solution without doing so. That's just wrong.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:14 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,708 posts, read 25,336,294 times
Reputation: 22364
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookinForMayberry View Post
IF your roommate wants a sleep over on occassion, that is their business.
Not necessarily. Years ago when I rented out one of the bedrooms in my house, it was stipulated in the rental agreement that no overnight guests were allowed. I didn't want the discomfort of getting up in the morning to find a stranger in the house and it worked out well. I also had a studio on the lower level of the house and in that rental agreement it was stipulated that the sole tenant could have guests stay overnight only with prior consent and any stay over two days in any one month would incur additional rent. Worked well in that case too! It's so important to have a rental agreement even if only renting out a room and avoids a situation such as the OP is now having to deal with.
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Old 03-20-2011, 01:19 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,626,459 times
Reputation: 3878
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
h886
Your post doesn't say a lot for your character. You advise a person to deliberately lie when they could tell the truth as easily? Shame be upon you.
The OP is pregnant, and the landlord has already informed her that if there is one more argument, she and the boyfriend (and the roommate and the girlfriend) will all be kicked out. The OP will be without a place to live, out on the street with a baby on the way.

If the girlfriend was reasonable and rational, I would advise her to simply tell the truth. Perhaps you didn't read all the other posts in the thread, but she has already said that the problem is the GF is confrontational, screaming and yelling and fighting with the roommate (to the point where the neighbors have complained and the landlord has threatened to kick them out if it happens again--clearly these are not little insignificant spats.) The OP (while pregnant) does not need to be getting into a knock-down fight or any sort of confrontation with an unstable woman. Telling a little fib to get out of the situation hurts no one and accomplishes the same goal, without the danger of the girlfriend getting as angry and potentially attacking OP.

A little white lie is the lesser of the two evils.

Last edited by h886; 03-20-2011 at 01:27 PM..
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Old 03-20-2011, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,371 posts, read 14,278,776 times
Reputation: 21721
If your roommate is jeopardizing a roof over your head, because of his immaturtunity actions with his GF, then they both would get a 30 day notice to find somewhere else to live. Thats just rude, and disrespectful.
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