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Most young people like yourself are not smart enough to ask older people what they think, So, to start off, congratulations on thinking ahead. If you continue with your plans to buy a house you will be one step ahead of the game, that is a good plan, you will never find housing as cheap as it is right now. If you give in to this young woman's wishes, you will be expected to do this the rest of your married life. I gave my son this advice some 25 years ago, and it went in one ear and out the other. I told him that someday he would get tired of giving in and letting her make all the decisions. He has reached that day in his life and it is going to be expensive to start over. Getting married to a woman like the one you are in love with is a mistake. I'll say that again, just so you will know you know I mean it. Getting married to a woman like the one you are in love with is a mistake. Getting her own way is more important to her than her love for you. That should be a huge warning signal to you. I wish I could say this all more clearly so you would understand it. Don't get married to someone you know will cause problems later on in your marriage, if you do, you will regret it. Take it from an old geezer, who has been there and done that. Stop your relationship with her while you are still ahead. If nothing else, just ease out of it until you are not seeing her as often.
i suggest you go for the job, its a sure thing. Im not sure why ur girlfriend is so intent on this "dream job in this dream city" in a years time. Thats just a roll of the dice. I suggest u go for the job, if she gets a job over there and it sounds good then u can move next year.
Most young people like yourself are not smart enough to ask older people what they think, So, to start off, congratulations on thinking ahead. If you continue with your plans to buy a house you will be one step ahead of the game, that is a good plan, you will never find housing as cheap as it is right now. If you give in to this young woman's wishes, you will be expected to do this the rest of your married life. I gave my son this advice some 25 years ago, and it went in one ear and out the other. I told him that someday he would get tired of giving in and letting her make all the decisions. He has reached that day in his life and it is going to be expensive to start over. Getting married to a woman like the one you are in love with is a mistake. I'll say that again, just so you will know you know I mean it. Getting married to a woman like the one you are in love with is a mistake. Getting her own way is more important to her than her love for you. That should be a huge warning signal to you. I wish I could say this all more clearly so you would understand it. Don't get married to someone you know will cause problems later on in your marriage, if you do, you will regret it. Take it from an old geezer, who has been there and done that. Stop your relationship with her while you are still ahead. If nothing else, just ease out of it until you are not seeing her as often.
I was trying to decide how I wanted to say what Nite Ryder posted. I couldn't have said it better.
Break up is coming. I can't take stuff like this on a regular basis:
Barely wanting to kiss. She even sometimes refuses kisses. I asked her about it, because before in our relationship we kissed/made out all the time. She says now, it's just not her thing anymore and likes the simplicity of only small pecks. This drives me crazy. I don't want to make out 24/7 either, but I want to do more than "peck" my girlfriend. And when you move away when I try to kiss you sometimes, that pisses me off.
She's also ALWAYS tired. She's 22. She works and goes to school. I understand being tired and everything, but every single time we hang out, she leaves by 9:30 or 10 every time. She didn't have to work last night and she made me leave at 9. Every other couple our age stays out till 1 or 2 and they work and go to school as well. But she's ready for me to leave, or ready for me to take her home by 9 or 10 every time. I want to spend more time with her than 3 or 4 hours every weekend.
She never wants to do much together, mostly because she wants to do things "her" way. I finally talked to her about everything tonight and she said well you make it seem like I'm boring. I said well, for the most part, our relationship is when you never want to do anything together.
Her smart remarks constantly.
We got off the phone and she sent me a message just now saying she's sorry she's a disappointment and a horrible girlfriend, but she truly loves me and she'd talk to me in the morning. I haven't texted her back and don't think I'm going to.
I just can't take THIS kind of relationship anymore.
Break up is coming. I can't take stuff like this on a regular basis:
Barely wanting to kiss. She even sometimes refuses kisses. I asked her about it, because before in our relationship we kissed/made out all the time. She says now, it's just not her thing anymore and likes the simplicity of only small pecks. This drives me crazy. I don't want to make out 24/7 either, but I want to do more than "peck" my girlfriend. And when you move away when I try to kiss you sometimes, that pisses me off.
She's also ALWAYS tired. She's 22. She works and goes to school. I understand being tired and everything, but every single time we hang out, she leaves by 9:30 or 10 every time. She didn't have to work last night and she made me leave at 9. Every other couple our age stays out till 1 or 2 and they work and go to school as well. But she's ready for me to leave, or ready for me to take her home by 9 or 10 every time. I want to spend more time with her than 3 or 4 hours every weekend.
She never wants to do much together, mostly because she wants to do things "her" way. I finally talked to her about everything tonight and she said well you make it seem like I'm boring. I said well, for the most part, our relationship is when you never want to do anything together.
Her smart remarks constantly.
We got off the phone and she sent me a message just now saying she's sorry she's a disappointment and a horrible girlfriend, but she truly loves me and she'd talk to me in the morning. I haven't texted her back and don't think I'm going to.
I just can't take THIS kind of relationship anymore.
Yeah - a relationship should be enjoyable. I mean - you'll always have your ups and downs - but it should still make you happy. As Charlotte says in Sex and the City (I'm paraphrasing) - I'm happy everyday. Not all day every day, but every day. My husband makes me happy everyday. Certainly not all day of every single day - but I really am happy everyday.
Hello everyone. My girlfriend and I are having trouble and I don't know what else to do so I figured I'd get some opinions here.
She and I dated for 3 years and broke up in 2007. She dated another guy, got engaged, ended up breaking it off with him after he cheated on her, and then 5 months later we talked and got back together.
Everything has been wonderful and we are truly in love and moving forward.
However...........one HUGE conflict has arrived. I have graduated college and just got a great job near our hometown. It will use my degree, provide lots of advancement, and great benefits. I like our hometown. Our church, family, friends, and everything we need is in reach. For shopping and fun days, an hour and a half is about the max we have to travel.
She, however, has a year of college left. As soon as she gets out, her plan is to move about an hour and a half way and work 30 minutes from there. I went to college in the city where she will be working and I did not care for living there much. Since I have a great career started, I'd love to get a house, become engaged, and raise our family here. It's a great area.
She does not want anything to do with living here, just because her reason is she doesn't want to live around our area and her dream is to work at this hospital in the city where she wants to work. She says when she graduates college, she'd like to be engaged and ready to move to her new location. She says I can easily get a new job where she will be, but I've lived there and it's not as easy as she's making it out to be.
I don't think it's wise, in this economy, to leave such a good paying job where I can provide easily for a family. It was hard enough to get this job after looking in many locations. She will be getting a medical degree, and there are MANY opportunities for her in our area. She knows this, but won't consider any of the options. I don't know how we are going to get around this since neither of us want to budge. Any advice? We both love each other and really want this to work, but she's telling me it's her or my job. Thanks!
That's a hard one... and to be honest, the woman ALWAYS wins out... so, now if I were you, I would start looking for another job in her area and start looking at rings.... don't pass on opportunity for happiness because of money... you will regret it later on... who knows, maybe you'll something even better... hope everything works out for you...
Hello everyone. My girlfriend and I are having trouble and I don't know what else to do so I figured I'd get some opinions here.
She and I dated for 3 years and broke up in 2007. She dated another guy, got engaged, ended up breaking it off with him after he cheated on her, and then 5 months later we talked and got back together.
Everything has been wonderful and we are truly in love and moving forward.
However...........one HUGE conflict has arrived. I have graduated college and just got a great job near our hometown. It will use my degree, provide lots of advancement, and great benefits. I like our hometown. Our church, family, friends, and everything we need is in reach. For shopping and fun days, an hour and a half is about the max we have to travel.
She, however, has a year of college left. As soon as she gets out, her plan is to move about an hour and a half way and work 30 minutes from there. I went to college in the city where she will be working and I did not care for living there much. Since I have a great career started, I'd love to get a house, become engaged, and raise our family here. It's a great area.
She does not want anything to do with living here, just because her reason is she doesn't want to live around our area and her dream is to work at this hospital in the city where she wants to work. She says when she graduates college, she'd like to be engaged and ready to move to her new location. She says I can easily get a new job where she will be, but I've lived there and it's not as easy as she's making it out to be.
I don't think it's wise, in this economy, to leave such a good paying job where I can provide easily for a family. It was hard enough to get this job after looking in many locations. She will be getting a medical degree, and there are MANY opportunities for her in our area. She knows this, but won't consider any of the options. I don't know how we are going to get around this since neither of us want to budge. Any advice? We both love each other and really want this to work, but she's telling me it's her or my job. Thanks!
I was in your shoes at one point. I was dating a woman and she moved away and then told me that if I wanted to be with her I needed give up my business and move to be with her in this other state. She must have thought I was a sucker. I stayed at my location and my life/business has done real well without her.
See, look at this like a game of chess and map out the moves in advance:
You could move to be with her and she could then dump you shortly after for another guy she met at work, which could be on top of you not landing a job, then to top it off living in a city that you don't like.
So at this point, I say, keep her around for company until she graduates, then once she graduates let her leave and move on with your life; you don't need her.
And how dare she tell you "it's easy to get a job," when she's a unemployed collage student. This is subtle manipulation.
That's a hard one... and to be honest, the woman ALWAYS wins out... so, now if I were you, I would start looking for another job in her area and start looking at rings.... don't pass on opportunity for happiness because of money... you will regret it later on... who knows, maybe you'll something even better... hope everything works out for you...
By getting married and spending $$$ on a overpriced ring?
No man, he's going to regret giving up a good job.
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By getting married and spending $$$ on a overpriced ring? 
