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Old 03-22-2011, 07:06 AM
 
Location: michigan
44 posts, read 45,092 times
Reputation: 28
Default He cheated with his ex

Hi im going to try to make this short as is it very long! Ive been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 yrs now and i am 7 months pregnant. Last august i had suspicions that he was talking to his ex who mind you he had been broke up with for over 2 yrs. We went up north one weekend and all weekend his phone was blowing up, i didnt think much as i trusted him with all my heart. On our way home he got a call and ended it before i could see, which made me suspicious. Later that night i brought it up and gave him a chnce to tell me whatever it was he needed to, he didnt so i called and left her a message that i was his girlfriend and had they been in contact. The next day i got a call from her and we talked for like an hour as she told me everything...that they talk all the time, he sends dirty text messages, and that they slept together once, two days before we went up north. My heart sunk, i thought we had something special and i couldnt believe it. She did say that it was her who begged him to stop by during work (hes a service tech) and talk to her as she really wanted him back and needed closure. Also he and i were friends first and i knew how heartbroke he was when they ended and helped him threw it. She always had the upperhand with him and in the past would want him back at her convienence. Mind you at the time this all happened me and my three boys were in the middle of moving in to his house. I tried to break it off with him and my kids were just starting school and also love this guy madly..they have had a hard few years prior. That being said i had trouble up rooting them right away out of his house, hes well aware that we wouldnt have had a chance if it werent for them keeping me around to calm down! Anyway he cut all ties and this woman went crazy with text and calls, even to me. i got pregnant in september, great timing right, no chance to heal or even know if i really wanted to stay. I did check his phone records and alot of what she said was a lie, like that she talked to him once a week etc. He denied the whole sex thing and slowly admitted having more involvment but still no confession! The worst part is im a understanding person and i have more trouble moving on without the truth, i dont want details just the truth. Its been a long 6 months...we had to call the police on her in january for harrassment, and im trying to gain back trust my problem is..i feel like she means more to him than me but that hes with me because its a more stable relationship as they broke up constantly. Its just hard especially being pregnant and starting a life with someone feeling so unsure. I do think people deserve second chances depending on the circumstances but why cant he just be honest and if he loves me as much as he says he does how does that happen?
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:11 AM
 
Location: overlooking the mighty MO
697 posts, read 662,985 times
Reputation: 1115
sorry but your screwed young lady-- he is an arse
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:36 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
7,542 posts, read 8,489,015 times
Reputation: 9118
You know, it's hard to say what you should do now b/c this is a mess, but my best advice is to forget about men and concentrate on getting those kids raised. They are your #1 priority right now.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:15 AM
 
Location: michigan
44 posts, read 45,092 times
Reputation: 28
Thanks and i definitly have my kids in top priority. Thats why it was so hard to up and rip them out of his house we just moved in and he has been like the father they never had..thiers is a deadbeat. I just wonder if his apologies are sincere and everytime he says how special, beautiful, and whatever else that i am, i just feel that im not as special as she is to him. By saying that i dont want to sound like thats my only concern but with hormones flowing..lol it bothers me. Also he didnt think he could have kids, he and his ex even tried for yrs. so he is thrilled and i dont wana just be that special person for that reason. It was hard to get the pregnancy news so soon after this happened....
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:17 AM
 
Location: michigan
44 posts, read 45,092 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by the old man View Post
sorry but your screwed young lady-- he is an arse

Can people make mistakes though? He still claims shes lying about the details (sex) which she has been very devious but just come clean for god sake. Thanx for the advice i appreciate it!
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:18 AM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,128,536 times
Reputation: 3141
The sadest part of your post isn't the fact that you've been screwed over, but that you dragged three little boys through this mess. Why not put men on the back burner and take care of your children.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:20 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,445,073 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by merce79 View Post
Hi im going to try to make this short as is it very long! Ive been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 yrs now and i am 7 months pregnant. Last august i had suspicions that he was talking to his ex who mind you he had been broke up with for over 2 yrs. We went up north one weekend and all weekend his phone was blowing up, i didnt think much as i trusted him with all my heart. On our way home he got a call and ended it before i could see, which made me suspicious. Later that night i brought it up and gave him a chnce to tell me whatever it was he needed to, he didnt so i called and left her a message that i was his girlfriend and had they been in contact. The next day i got a call from her and we talked for like an hour as she told me everything...that they talk all the time, he sends dirty text messages, and that they slept together once, two days before we went up north. My heart sunk, i thought we had something special and i couldnt believe it. She did say that it was her who begged him to stop by during work (hes a service tech) and talk to her as she really wanted him back and needed closure. Also he and i were friends first and i knew how heartbroke he was when they ended and helped him threw it. She always had the upperhand with him and in the past would want him back at her convienence. Mind you at the time this all happened me and my three boys were in the middle of moving in to his house. I tried to break it off with him and my kids were just starting school and also love this guy madly..they have had a hard few years prior. That being said i had trouble up rooting them right away out of his house, hes well aware that we wouldnt have had a chance if it werent for them keeping me around to calm down! Anyway he cut all ties and this woman went crazy with text and calls, even to me. i got pregnant in september, great timing right, no chance to heal or even know if i really wanted to stay. I did check his phone records and alot of what she said was a lie, like that she talked to him once a week etc. He denied the whole sex thing and slowly admitted having more involvment but still no confession! The worst part is im a understanding person and i have more trouble moving on without the truth, i dont want details just the truth. Its been a long 6 months...we had to call the police on her in january for harrassment, and im trying to gain back trust my problem is..i feel like she means more to him than me but that hes with me because its a more stable relationship as they broke up constantly. Its just hard especially being pregnant and starting a life with someone feeling so unsure. I do think people deserve second chances depending on the circumstances but why cant he just be honest and if he loves me as much as he says he does how does that happen?
A second chance for what? he lied to you, had sex with her then had sex with you? you only found about it is from her. He's still lying about it?
So you want him to have a second chance to come up with more lies.I can't stand cheating, There is no excuse for it and cheated is always thought about and planned out before it happens.
I'm really sorry but he's a snake..
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:24 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,445,073 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by merce79 View Post
Can people make mistakes though? He still claims shes lying about the details (sex) which she has been very devious but just come clean for god sake. Thanx for the advice i appreciate it!

Im sorry but cheating isn't a mistake..
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:31 AM
 
Location: michigan
44 posts, read 45,092 times
Reputation: 28
Im not so much saying its a mistake i guess what i mean is do people deserve a second chance depending on the situation? This girl meant alot to him at one point in his life and obviously still did or he wouldnt of been talking to her behind my back let alone taking the time out of his day to go talk to her. When she started to go crazy when he wouldnt take her back he was the one that wanted to call the police. When she found out through the grapevine i was pregnant she would leave me messages that she would help me getan abortion (shes an ob delivery nurse) and that hes a horrible person and so on and on. She started to lose crediability with me as i watched her unravle during all of this so i also wonder if his side may be more of the truth.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:41 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,445,073 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by merce79 View Post
Im not so much saying its a mistake i guess what i mean is do people deserve a second chance depending on the situation? This girl meant alot to him at one point in his life and obviously still did or he wouldnt of been talking to her behind my back let alone taking the time out of his day to go talk to her. When she started to go crazy when he wouldnt take her back he was the one that wanted to call the police. When she found out through the grapevine i was pregnant she would leave me messages that she would help me getan abortion (shes an ob delivery nurse) and that hes a horrible person and so on and on. She started to lose crediability with me as i watched her unravle during all of this so i also wonder if his side may be more of the truth.

Sweetie dont be naive...You cant force anyone and were not counting rape to have sex with you, just because they were close one time is no excuse to have sex with her and go out of his way to see her..If you accept his behavior he will just continue to do it..He don't need to take her back he knows he can have you and you will allow him to cheat? and she obviously knew about you and didnt care because she was still with him.
No he dont deserve a second chance..it should be you deserve better?
Its about you now and what you deserve or what your willing to put up with??
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