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Old 03-22-2011, 12:56 PM
 
2,433 posts, read 2,393,228 times
Reputation: 1766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big-Bad-John View Post
My how that 5 that they told to F OFF only 5 years ago looks better and better all the time!
lol thats what some of us have to hope for..some women getting used and abused by the good looking guys then coming to us average joes as they age and realize they cant get that 10 anymore..
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 183,245 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big-Bad-John View Post
It's not that really. How many single 26 year old guys are going to swallow that pill? Let's be honest......... NOT MANY!
Yes, and I won't blame it on the single 26 year old's either, fact is that, I am just saying that there are lot's of men who are not those 26 year old's in this world who are still very attractive, nice men who would be willing to date this lady and even be a father figure to her kids, her rating scale of 10/10 when it comes to rating those men might just make it a deal breaker.
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:57 PM
 
3,409 posts, read 2,127,353 times
Reputation: 1379
Quote:
Originally Posted by noellea View Post
For me the scale of 1-10 is a package deal. Not just a scale of attraction. That's why I took it offensively.

I don't care about people saying I should date an older man with kids because to be honest, that's who I will more than likely end up dating because I like older men, but a normal 26 year old would find that lowering their standards. (Don't shoot the messenger)

EDITED: And I did not come up with this scale. This was an analogy I read in a previous topic. That's why I brought it up because I thought it was RUDE!
I'd stick with one that already has them. Just because "we" are older doesn't put you in the clear.
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 53,316,990 times
Reputation: 22748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawk J View Post
Howdy Noellea

If we were to fall in love with each other, your being Mom to two beloved young son's, wouldn't deter me. I would embrace it.

Have a Beautiful Day...
That's right, Hawk! That'd be why your gal doesn't even live on the same mountain!
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:58 PM
 
13,116 posts, read 11,729,542 times
Reputation: 7518
Quote:
Originally Posted by headhunter18 View Post
Good, and what advise did you receive here that would give you a heads up in spotting those "sharks", your condescending attitude and the fact that you think you are lowering your "standards"(whatever they were to begin with) without even acknowledging your role in the failed relationship you went through earlier makes you look not even a 5/10 in most men's opinion. Perhaps a change of attitude might be more encouraging.
Good Post!

If I were the OP, I wouldn't even give it another thought....listen to Loves Moutains...get on with y our life, you've got kids that should come first and foremost...and more then worrying about lowering your standards...I'd do some self examination and figure out why you choose the wrong man to begin with....raise your kids, stay active and forgetabout what will be, b/c no matter what, if it is meant to be it will be....be selective, by not concerning yourself, gain some confidence, and just enjoy your kids and life....if someone comes along worth looking at, then look, good, inside and out, b/c you don't want to involve another man in your kids life and have it not work out, and if you have time, seek out counseling to help you gain a better perspective.....things have a way of falling into place....
it's when we force things to happen that it ends up being wrong. Not to mention expectations....remember, your expectations of marriage, may not be another person's expectations, so mental compatiblity is a huge factor.

Good Luck
Creme
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 183,245 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
lol thats what some of us have to hope for..some women getting used and abused by the good looking guys then coming to us average joes as they age and realize they cant get that 10 anymore..
Exactly, but they would still crib about it, and keep thinking how they could have got that 10/10 hunk had they been without children, duh!!! The reason they are in that situation is because those 10/10s won't even take a second look at them once they have those children. And suddenly, lo and behold, the character of the man becomes paramount and attractive, spare me the double standards here.
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:59 PM
 
3,409 posts, read 2,127,353 times
Reputation: 1379
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
lol thats what some of us have to hope for..some women getting used and abused by the good looking guys then coming to us average joes as they age and realize they cant get that 10 anymore..
I think with other men. They should have chosen more wisely the first time. To attack the guys who are STILL waiting on the "RIGHT" one is preposterous. Some have patience and some don't!
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:59 PM
 
3,098 posts, read 2,102,804 times
Reputation: 3633
if we flip the script on the 'scale' concept a 10/10 girl who then has a kid becomes a 7/10 at BEST to most young men, yes the deduction of points for child seems harsh but it is understandable for a young guy just trying to party and have fun.
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:01 PM
 
2,433 posts, read 2,393,228 times
Reputation: 1766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524 View Post
^ Yes. I also suspect there is a sense of entitlement issue here. Almost as if the 10's are entitled to the 10's, and that once you learn you're not entitled to ANYTHING in this world (especially romance) it's a harsh wake up call.

I find it disrespectful to really use that scale at all, because it implies that one party (male OR female) is too good for the other or that one is not good enough. Not giving someone a chance (even if they look like a 3) can be a huge obstacle to your search.

Again: I don't know anything.
I totally agree..

Lowering your standards should mean being with somebody you dont connect with or like for the sake of being with somebody.. not going out with somebody who *GASP* is a 6..

Could you imagine if a Man made a thread like this single father or not and said will i have to date 6's? the claws would come out but since its a women they coddle her and say no you deserve a 10 whos also willing to take on your twins..
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Woodinville
2,297 posts, read 1,630,568 times
Reputation: 4342
Quote:
Originally Posted by noellea View Post
For me the scale of 1-10 is a package deal. Not just a scale of attraction. That's why I took it offensively.

I don't care about people saying I should date an older man with kids because to be honest, that's who I will more than likely end up dating because I like older men, but a normal 26 year old would find that lowering their standards. (Don't shoot the messenger)

EDITED: And I did not come up with this scale. This was an analogy I read in a previous topic. That's why I brought it up because I thought it was RUDE!
Don't worry I'm not trying to be condescending and I don't think you are either. This is an interesting discussion! I'm still not a fan of the scale though and it sounds like you might not be either.

Anyway, it sounds like you are not looking for a "normal" 26 year old so it's best not to trouble yourself with that they think. Love is all about finding the abnormal; that one person that is so extraordinary that they are worth (attempting) to spend the rest of your life with. Unfortunately nowadays marriage isn't viewed in the same way so it is much more difficult trying to make it work.

I don't know anything.
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