My girlfriend's grandmother just had a heart attack (call, advice, couple) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

katestar · 03-23-2011, 09:43 AM

I'm at work and my gf just called me that her grandmother had a massive heart attack. We are in Florida and the grandmother is in NY. She's crying and upset over the phone. The grandmother is in the hospital and her mother has gone there to be with her.

I told my gf that I'll come home and be with her...she told me "no it's ok." I'm really bad at these things. When tragedy or emergencies happen my "go" switch goes on and I'm all about taking care of logistics and everyone else.

Should I go home? Give her her space? I have zero idea. Thanks.

donie1 · 03-23-2011, 09:48 AM

I'd stay at work and give her her space since she told you not to come home. Is she going to NY to be with her gmother? That might help if she could get a SW flight to NY and be there with her.

katestar · 03-23-2011, 09:49 AM

Well at the moment the grandmother is in the hopsital and her mom is going to update her as to her condition. I'll put her on a plane if she wants to go...I think she's just getting over the shock at the moment. I'm checking some flights (ironically I work at the airport...)

KAILANI · 03-23-2011, 09:53 AM

If grandma is "stable" at this point, and not in CCU, then I would hold off.
Just be there to listen and support.

Mathguy · 03-23-2011, 09:53 AM

While upsetting, just hang tight, be supportive and follow your gf's lead on this one to some extent.

Not to make light of things but her grandma is quite likely 80+ and these things happen. Thankfully it's not a call saying it's her 22yo sister in an extremely bad car accident etc.

donie1 · 03-23-2011, 09:54 AM

Good that you work at the airport, she can go either cheaply or free, huh? I'd find a flight for her in the next couple of hours, call her and tell her that you'd like her to fly to be with her gmother. I think she would appreciate the effort and gesture. Right now, she's in a state of shock and disbelief and probably can't think straight on what to do.

katestar · 03-23-2011, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donie1

Good that you work at the airport, she can go either cheaply or free, huh? I'd find a flight for her in the next couple of hours, call her and tell her that you'd like her to fly to be with her gmother. I think she would appreciate the effort and gesture. Right now, she's in a state of shock and disbelief and probably can't think straight on what to do.

That's the idea. Although I don't work for an airline...so no cheap flights for me. Although I have heard of airlines giving a price break to customers due to emergencies and stuff.

I'm not a sit tight and wait kind of person....grrrr

Pivot Point · 03-23-2011, 09:59 AM

Let her take the lead in telling you how she wants to handle this. Give her time to get her thoughts together. However, stay in close communication and let her know that you're there for her and are willing to do whatever she needs to deal with this situation. If she seems indecisive, you could gently offer suggestions.

Take care of some basic needs that she may not be up to like grocery shopping, cooking and perhaps driving her around if she's too emotional to do this. I'm sure she'll appreciate that.

katestar · 03-23-2011, 10:10 AM

The advice seems unanimous. I know she knows I'm here for anything if she needs me. I guess I just wanna solve everyone's problems and I can't always do that.

I got 5 hours of work...grr...

akck · 03-23-2011, 12:03 PM

Have the flight options ready in case she decides to go and be prepared to handle all of the details.