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Editorializing is the point. You seem obsessed with making points which all adults are aware of and DO understand very well but which to you are some sort of epiphany meritous of repetition.. A budding Socrates you are not, you funny little fellow.
Based on the number of people that have kids they can't afford, a lot of adults don't understand that you should wait until you can support yourself before having kids.
I understand the financial responsibilities, but I don't want the simple fact of cost to determine whether I want a child or not. I feel I can afford one child.
That's a really big claim right there. I doubt it, really. I watch 5 (3 nieces and 2 nephews) kids and volunteer at places that deals with kids, and I still don't know what it means to be a parent. Let me tell you, my nieces and my nephews drive me crazy (sometimes), but I still try my best as an aunt to love them and understand their parents. I do the basic things that a parent would do (love, care, feed, play, change dipers, communicate, etc) and I still have trouble knowing what it means to be a parent. Of course, I just think I don't have enough commitment. That's probably my issue, ahaha.
I have 3 year old cousins, but I'm more like an uncle to them because of the age gap. And they're triplets, so there are 3 of them.
I also have a lot of younger cousins (who are older than 3, but 6+ years younger than me)
Plus the knowledge of watching my parents raise me and my brother
I don't purposefully seek these types of men. I don't do one-night stands or casual sex, etc. I'm talking about guys that seem cool in the beginning and seem attracted to me, but eventually he'll ask if I wants kids, I say yes, because why lie about it? then that's when they say they don't or have had a v.
If I sense the guy is a jerk or just looking for a good time, then I bolt. I don't know how to determine they don't kids with me specifically.
If you keep meeting these guys at the same place, its time to not go to those place anymore... If a guy goes to a bar a lot, he isn't looking to settle down... if a guy goes to a sports game with guy friends, chances are he already has a wife/girlfriend.... if you find a good looking guy at a singles event, he is just playing the field.... if you meet a guy at a bookstore, that's just plain weird... hahaha, okay but seriously... If you are looking to settle down with kids, I would start looking somewhere else... I don't know where to look.... I wouldn't try dating sites, they are inundated with fake people with fake biographies... the best is actually through accidental meetings, like running into a stranger... to be honest, a lot of guys would be too scared to ask a girl out unless he knew she was interested, so getting a stranger to ask you out will be a difficult task... but who said love was going to be easy in the first place...
interesting points, I do meet strangers randomly as well. But for some reason, it doesn' get very far. I go to sportsbars to watch games, not meet men, that just happens. I'm running out of places to meet single, family oriented men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by evilnewbie
If you keep meeting these guys at the same place, its time to not go to those place anymore... If a guy goes to a bar a lot, he isn't looking to settle down... if a guy goes to a sports game with guy friends, chances are he already has a wife/girlfriend.... if you find a good looking guy at a singles event, he is just playing the field.... if you meet a guy at a bookstore, that's just plain weird... hahaha, okay but seriously... If you are looking to settle down with kids, I would start looking somewhere else... I don't know where to look.... I wouldn't try dating sites, they are inundated with fake people with fake biographies... the best is actually through accidental meetings, like running into a stranger... to be honest, a lot of guys would be too scared to ask a girl out unless he knew she was interested, so getting a stranger to ask you out will be a difficult task... but who said love was going to be easy in the first place...
I understand the financial responsibilities, but I don't want the simple fact of cost to determine whether I want a child or not. I feel I can afford one child.
It's also a matter of making sacrifices. I can't afford any kids right now. At all. No way.
But I think someday I would be able to afford a kid.
However, I would need to make sacrifices in other areas that I'm not willing to make.
Call me selfish, but at least I'm determined and I know what I want.
I want to live the richest lifestyle I can afford, and I don't want any kid(s) to get in the way of that.
I wouldn't say it's selfish, you just want to be totally ready for it to happen. which is a good thing.
I'm at a point where I have a good job, low expenses, and it's a bummer at times to be still single, and not meeting quality men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
It's also a matter of making sacrifices. I can't afford any kids right now. At all. No way.
But I think someday I would be able to afford a kid.
However, I would need to make sacrifices in other areas that I'm not willing to make.
Call me selfish, but at least I'm determined and I know what I want.
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