Does a woman dating more than 1 guy at a time send the wrong message to men? (kissing, jealous)

[boodhabunny]

Big-Bad-John - If a woman said "Let's do this!" before she had a chance to really get to know you, wouldn't you question her judgment just a little bit?

Sure, YOU know watch a great catch you are, but she doesn't. Don't you want the chance to demonstrate to her all your awesomeness? Do you get any enjoyment out of impressing a girl? You seem to me like the type of guy who would. (that was meant as a compliment)

I dunno, if I were a guy it would take all the fun out of dating. Like, if a fish jumped right on your line before you even had a chance to cast it. Where's the fun in that? They call it the dating game because games are suppose to be fun!

[Big-Bad-John]

Originally Posted by boodhabunny

Big-Bad-John - If a woman said "Let's do this!" before she had a chance to really get to know you, wouldn't you question her judgment just a little bit?

Sure, YOU know watch a great catch you are, but she doesn't. Don't you want the chance to demonstrate to her all your awesomeness? Do you get any enjoyment out of impressing a girl? You seem to me like the type of guy who would. (that was meant as a compliment)

I dunno, if I were a guy it would take all the fun out of dating. Like, if a fish jumped right on your line before you even had a chance to cast it. Where's the fun in that? They call it the dating game because games are suppose to be fun!

I guess that's why I don't date them until I get to know them. That could be as friends or "whatever". It's not a date and they aren't my date. Like the gal at the pizza place you talk to when you go in there. I don't work with any women so that is not an option either. I date one at a time. If it isn't there by date 2 or 3 it won't be and I move on. Some were only one. Moving on.... you and I are like putting a elevator in an outhouse. But then again, I don't get dates and don't have opportunities. The day more than one (if that) wanted to go out is a cold one. No, I don't know what a catch I am. Actually I feel pretty worthless at the moment.

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by Shysister

I was talking to a friend and she mentioned she was dating a guy, nothing sexual just dating but she needed to get out and meet more men and not put all her eggs in one basket. Our guy friend said that if the guy she's dating catches wind she's dating other men, its going to lesson his desire to pursue anything serious with her.

So I want to get your thoughts on does a woman dating more than 1 guy at a time send the wrong message to men?

If you want to date other guys, you don't need to date me. If you were interested in me, you could be exclusive. If you can't be exclusive, you must not be interested.

I wouldn't do it to you, don't do it to me.

[D217]

Originally Posted by TKramar

If you want to date other guys, you don't need to date me. If you were interested in me, you could be exclusive. If you can't be exclusive, you must not be interested.

I wouldn't do it to you, don't do it to me.

This is a great point.

If you're not totally into someone, you shouldn't waste their (&your) time.


I'm a firm believer in the The Golden Rule, especially when it comes to dating. It's not a game to me.

If a guy I really liked and was dating told me he was still seeing other women I would not only be disappointed but totally pissed off!

OH HELLS NO!

[le roi]

Originally Posted by Shysister

I was talking to a friend and she mentioned she was dating a guy, nothing sexual just dating but she needed to get out and meet more men and not put all her eggs in one basket. Our guy friend said that if the guy she's dating catches wind she's dating other men, its going to lesson his desire to pursue anything serious with her.

So I want to get your thoughts on does a woman dating more than 1 guy at a time send the wrong message to men?

That might have worked 100+ years ago, when society and matchmaking was different, when people typically waited until marriage to have sex, for religious reasons, where family reputation, and the potential of shame, all played a big role.

those days are gone, and they aren't coming back.

That said, it is still situational. I'm not saying it is always one way, or never another way. But as a general rule, I'm going to see this in a negative light.

I just ask myself -- how would a girl react, if I told her that she was one of 3 or 4 girls I was dating, and interested in?

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by le roi

I just ask myself -- how would a girl react, if I told her that she was one of 3 or 4 girls I was dating, and interested in?

Apparently I'm in the minority as I've never related to this American concept, but I'd drop you.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Apparently I'm in the minority as I've never related to this American concept, but I'd drop you.

damn straight, and rightfully so.

why on earth would someone continue to invest time in a person who believed that there were better options out there?

[TaoistDude]

Originally Posted by le roi

I just ask myself -- how would a girl react, if I told her that she was one of 3 or 4 girls I was dating, and interested in?

I didn't have to ask myself - I asked them. And most were fine with it, as I was fine with them dating other men. It's a search process, leading to a selection of ONE.

Basically, it seems there are two groups, one who is happy with multiple dating scenarios, and one who is not. People tend to gravitate to others who share their perspective, so if someone did not share mine, then they weren't likely to be a good match for me anyway. Besides, if I had only dated one person at a time, and did not at least stay in contact with other prospects, I'd probably still be looking for a great match, instead of having found her early on. Sequential dating just seems so inefficient and ineffective to me, but if it works for you, then I think that's wonderful - for you!

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by TaoistDude

I didn't have to ask myself - I asked them. And most were fine with it, as I was fine with them dating other men. It's a search process, leading to a selection of ONE.

Basically, it seems there are two groups, one who is happy with multiple dating scenarios, and one who is not. People tend to gravitate to others who share their perspective, so if someone did not share mine, then they weren't likely to be a good match for me anyway. Besides, if I had only dated one person at a time, and did not at least stay in contact with other prospects, I'd probably still be looking for a great match, instead of having found her early on. Sequential dating just seems so inefficient and ineffective to me, but if it works for you, then I think that's wonderful - for you!

I'm also suspecting differences in the amount of investment given early on as well as simple semantics. Many sound like they're describing relationships and folk in relationships are certainly dating, but that's not the same as casual dating. To me, casual dating is just getting to know someone and spending time with them. It's really no different than developing a regular friendship ime. Any way, like you, I may have missed my dh if I were a sequential dater.

[lionking]

As long as she is not in his face about it like "no I can't this Saturday I am going to the game with John the other guy".


Of course when the guy doesn't have a harem and isn't dating several and she does it doesn't make the guy feel very great.


And sometimes the "I am dating but not having sex" is met with a roll of the eyes and "yeah right".