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I don't know that it sends the wrong message. It would send the message to me that she wasn't interested in a serious relationship, that she just wanted to go to a concert, dinner, or whatever. I would go out with her only if I didn't have someone better, I wouldn't have hesitated to spend money on her, but only on the date. I would not have pursued any woman that dated other guys. Narrow minded maybe, that is just how I felt. Looking back, I was pretty particular, but didn't realize it at the time.
I was talking to a friend and she mentioned she was dating a guy, nothing sexual just dating but she needed to get out and meet more men and not put all her eggs in one basket. Our guy friend said that if the guy she's dating catches wind she's dating other men, its going to lesson his desire to pursue anything serious with her.
So I want to get your thoughts on does a woman dating more than 1 guy at a time send the wrong message to men?
Perhaps mir you have been seeing less players and more sincere daters. Like others have said I never went out with more than one person at one time except at the very start where the dating was completely superficial and without investment of any kind. I expected none, I returned none. IMO these dates aint braggin material unless you consider meaningless to be worth waxing poetic over. Personally I'll take a little meaningful over a lot of meaningless any day.
A lot of folks have opined that playing the field is fine and dandy so long as you are up front about what you are doing. I agree, I have done it. If I am becoming more serious about someone I will stop dating others. There is no specific point where I can say this happens but I know it when I see it. It isnt like I signed a contract saying this is a requirement or I consider it a social foul if my counterpart in this possibly budding romance does not do likewise. I will however give her actions their due consideration and figure if she had any real interest in me she would not be serial dating. I will put that girl in the aint happening category and my interest will move on.
A last thought here is that this is all decades ago. I have not dated in a very long time and maybe things now are different than they were then. It used to be a given that if either partner was dating around the message was simple, you have been judged unworthy of investment or have yourself judged someone else to be so. It was one of the rules like always giving your prospective date a graceful out when asking for the date. I suppose given time I shall find out for myself as I wander out into the dating world on my rusty feet.
That's how most guys who aren't "playing" the field think too. A keeper man would never go along with this. He could care less and wants the same. That is date and sleep with as many women as possible. Just hurt everyone's feelings while he is at it as well!
Unless we decided to be exclusive, I wouldn't mind at all if a women I was dating was meeting other guys. I may also continue meeting other women. The goal is to find someone who is a very good match (assuming the goal is a relationship and not just a temporary hookup). Unless we've both dated extensively already and have become extremely clear about what we want in a partner, then it makes sense to continue looking until you're sure about each other.
I wouldn't want someone to choose me without being clear on the resason why. I wouldn't want either of us to have any doubts or reservations about our choice to be together once we decide that's what we want. So, date away! If someone else is a better match, go for them instead - we'll both be happier in the long run.
When I was single I casually dated for many years without seeing any one man exclusively. I enjoyed being single. I enjoyed dating casually and getting to know a variety of men.
I would not date any one man more than two or three times if I didn't see it going anywhere. I think it's wrong to lead people on and accept dates from a man who has no potential. I learned to let people go as soon as I knew they were not "the one". Dragging things out trying to make things work or trying to change people to suit me, is not my style. Cut them loose and move on! That was my motto.
So, from my own personal experience, dating the same men for an extended period was not my style and not recommended. Rather, I dated many men briefly and cut them loose quickly. I thought of it like a "catch and release" method of dating. LOL. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about men. My dating experience helped me recognize and appreciate what an extraordinary individual my husband was/is. He stood out from the others and was unlike any other man. I can't say that I saw that on the first date, but by the third date, I knew he was a "keeper".
I think a smart woman who is looking for Mr. Right will not take herself off the market until he comes along but until then, she's a free agent.
That's exactly what I'm doing..but I can't seem to be "highly desirable" enough in LM's words to get 2 dates in one day, lol. I've had 2 dates with 2 different men in one week though..hmm...
It's probably just your individual situation mir, not that you aren't desirable enough, lol.
I mean, do you go to college or work in an enviroment where you meet a lot of people every day? If not, you'd be less likely to run into enough guys to have more than one ask you out on a given day.
It really depends on what "dating" entails. If she is already at the point where she is sleeping with them, probably it's not a very honorable thing to keep the fact that she is still looking around hidden. If she doesn't let him know she wants exclusivity, then what will happen is he will be equally insecure and not mention it either - then they will have ruined the beginning of what should have been a beautiful and pure relationship by having sex with other people. Later on all these facts will catch up with them.
The OP said in her first post "nothing sexual, just dating".
Most of us are all looking at it that way too.
I like that expression from that matchmaker chick on tv - "NO SEX UNTIL MONOGOMY"
Only after you've gotten to know a person and develop some actual feelings for them
Sex for the sake of sex is nothing compared to sex with someone you actually love.
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A keeper man would never go along with this. He could care less and wants the same. That is date and sleep
with as many women as possible. Just hurt everyone's feelings while he is at it as well!
