New pick up line - Hi, I'm co-dependent. (women, calling, divorces)
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I didn't know about this characteristic until just a few days ago, after I had been spending some time reflecting on my recently ended relationship. I understand it to mean that I prioritize other people's needs and happiness higher than my own. If she has a problem, I will do what I can to fix it for her. Seem's like a very 'guy' thing to do, right?
Well, I am still in the mourning stages, and I was at a bar drowning my sorrows when I started chatting with lady. Pretty standard bar banter but I eventually started into my last relationship. I could tell I was losing her interest, but I didn't care because I wasn't looking for a hook-up.
Anyway, I started talking about my realization about me being co-dependent. She kind of backed up a bit, but then I explained it just like I did above. We ended up exchanging numbers and she has been texting and calling me for the last 3 days. Go figure.
People throw around the co-dependent label too often.
If you happen to be someone who cares and does whatever it takes for your "special" someone then you are co-dependent
People throw around the co-dependent label too often.
If you happen to be someone who cares and does whatever it takes for your "special" someone then you are co-dependent
Well, that's one of the numerous ways of nurturing more selfishness and inspiring more divorces!
I agree. I think what matters is where you draw the line. I don't think there is anything wrong with helping someone out when issues arise outside of their control and you have the means.
On the other hand, when the issue actually is the person (habit or addiction), this is a slippery slope. You care about her enough that you don't want her to ruin her life, but when it gets to the point that you are in a downspin because of her downspin, then it becomes unhealthy. You can't win because your happiness is becomes contingent on someone else who may actually NOT be fixable no matter how much you do, and the only thing you can do is walk away.
Walking away is something I have a difficult time doing and is not always an option for others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme
People throw around the co-dependent label too often.
If you happen to be someone who cares and does whatever it takes for your "special" someone then you are co-dependent
I didn't know about this characteristic until just a few days ago, after I had been spending some time reflecting on my recently ended relationship. I understand it to mean that I prioritize other people's needs and happiness higher than my own. If she has a problem, I will do what I can to fix it for her. Seem's like a very 'guy' thing to do, right?
Well, I am still in the mourning stages, and I was at a bar drowning my sorrows when I started chatting with lady. Pretty standard bar banter but I eventually started into my last relationship. I could tell I was losing her interest, but I didn't care because I wasn't looking for a hook-up.
Anyway, I started talking about my realization about me being co-dependent. She kind of backed up a bit, but then I explained it just like I did above. We ended up exchanging numbers and she has been texting and calling me for the last 3 days. Go figure.
I think we are all codependent. I know I'm rather tired of this term. How on earth can you be involved with others and not be concerned for them--inserting Barbra Streisand Cd---'People Who Need People'.
Anyway if you said that to me I would lol and say, 'Join the Club'.
I don't think you are co-dependent. I think what you described is being her servant. It's hard not to like those who serve us.
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