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I believe in the end when I look back on it a good many of my regrets will be the things I left unsaid that time then pased by. I may be a fool but I say celebrate your love, scream it from the highest rooftop if you are moved to do so, let what happens happen.
If you love her, you love her. Since you didn't just say it to say it, telling her shouldn't change how you feel.
While I'm sure it was disappointing to not have her return the sentiment immediately, at least she was honest. It sounds like she did enjoy knowing how you felt and perhaps knowing that you are committed to the relationship will help her open up and 'be 140% sure'.
She knows how you feel now, if the mood arises and you are so inclined to tell her again, go ahead. Don't let what she does/says determine how you show affection.
I'm reluctant to share that comment ever again. Every time I FOOLISHLY do it turns to s***! I think I will just keep to myself. That's the word they all want to hear but as soon as they do-----------------------------------------
Just give it some time. She'll most likely come 'round before too long.
I was with a girl who, the first day after we had sex, told me that if I was going to be in a relationship w/her, I needed to know that she "didn't fall in love." I said "sure." About two months later, I was tucking her in (she was nodding off and I had to be at work early the next day; she lived 30 miles away), and as I was standing up, she said, "I love you."
I think she is being honest and doesn't want to deceive you. To her, she might be getting there, but doesn't want to jump in to the vastness of those 3 words. 3 months is too soon for some to properly feel the love meter is full, so holding off is best. And sometimes, when someone says it so soon, they are just lying or don't really know what they are saying. I know my ex told me real soon after he met me and it was hard for me to believe him. Turns out I was right and he didn't know his own self. Just give it time.
Good honest communication is important in a relationship. And many times, partners will not be at the same level of affection, especially at the beginning stages. And who reaches love first isn't a game or a strategy. So just tell her that you love her whenever you feel that you do.
But if you've only been a couple for three months, most likely you are not in true love with her, but just infatuated or crushing on her. And that's okay too. Enjoy this honeymoon period in your relationship and savour your crush feelings one day at a time.
... She has a history of being in LTR's, most recent one was 2.5 years that she left because she realized she didn't love him enough to marry him. ...
She told me she really appreciated me telling her that and that she's really happy to hear it, and she knows how hard it was to tell her that as I hadn't told someone that in a long time....but she said she wasn't ready to say it back yet. She had been in two relationships in her life previously where she thought she was going to get married at one point, and she wants to make sure this time that when she says it she's 140% sure she's in love.
...
I didn't know how to feel about this, ...
Any thoughts?
I am going to go against the conventional wisdom of how great that she was honest with you. Sounds like she is not interested in having more than a no strings relationship with you. If you are interested in having more with this lady (marriage), it does not look likely. Have you heard of Runaway Bride types?
I find it telling that she needs more than a certainty (140%) before she even can say she loves you. Sorry but it does not look good.
Give it time. If she hasn't returned the sentiment in three more months, then move on. But for now, sit tight. If she's all that, she's worth waiting for.
I tend to agree with this post.
You know her best, but if it were me - there would come a time that i'd really, really need to hear it back - or just know for sure that someone did love me, if i loved them. That's just how i am, even at my (older) age.
People have many reasons for holding back. Everyone has 'baggage' and most dont ever let EVERYthing out to someone else.
It seems she's being honest with you, and to me - that means A LOT.
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