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It won't get weird unless you make it weird. Friends first is the standard for some people. Pay not attention to what evilnewbie has to say, he/she doesn't have a clue...
I think what my plan is right now, is to see how things transpire during our event a week from Saturday. She already said she wants to go to see our friends show with me, so I'm thinking perhaps after the show, just seeing if she would perhaps want to go grab a drink or something afterwards. Everytime we hang out, it's always around our other friends.
The only other issue on WHY it could get awkward, is because I have tried asking out two other girls we've worked with before, both of which never amounted to anything, and she's knows this VERY well because we always talked about what happened. With one girl, it got a little ugly, and with the other, we just kind of stopped talking to eachother. I'm afraid that she'll think this would automatically happen to us if she were to say she'd rather stay friends. Only difference though is, I wasn't really good friends with the other two... if she were to say "No," then I'd really try to be as cool about it as possible and just accept the fact that it will be nothing more than the good thing we've got going now.
It may be awkward but you may be surprised. My hubby and I were best friends for 4 years before dating; I had seen him w/other girls and vice versa. I was afraid but thought of the alternative; do I want to go on without him as a friend, no so go forward. Good luck to you!
Asking out friends can always be risky but it can also be rewarding. Think of it this way. The two of you already know each other. There will be no awkward silence, no weird first meetings etc.
I knew a girl for 6 yrs and we where great friends but never anything more. We hung out with other friends and occasionally grabbed lunch, beers etc. Never anything physical more than a passing hug. Well one evening we grabbed some beers and wings and afterward we walked out to the cars and I made a joking comment about another successful date then jumped in my truck and said goodbye.
That planted the seed in her brain and a couple of weeks later we found ourselves again out for a quick lunch. When we left this time she made the comment that it was another successful date. .I said yeah, if we keep it up people will start talking.
Long story short is we just celebrated our 6th anniversary and looking at buying a house in the coming months.
However, I will admit I am scared out of my mind to do this. Like I said, we are friends, but not "super-close-best-inseperable" friends... but I have encountered situations that have earned me many points with her in the past.
Like I said, my biggest fear is that she rejects me, and then it becomes awkward between not only her and I, but all the mutual friends we have together.
Either way, I am going to do my bes to get her alone on April 9th (the day we have our "city event" and seeing a show afterwards)... More advice is always welcome!
So tomorrow is the day we hang out together. And actually, a third friend of ours was supposed to participate with us, but had to back out last minute... I sent her a text telling her that it would be just her and I, and was hoping she still wanted to get together, which she said she did.
Just relax and let this progress naturally. You realize that it already has, right?
1. Work together and enjoy speaking to each other
2. Find out you will not be working together, you speak more often and begin texting.
3. Plan to attend an event outside of work
4. Do not mess this up up by making a point of telling her your feelings and intentions and asking her how she feels. Go to the event. Say, Hey- I know of a nice, fun, rowdy, quiet (whatever) place. Let's go get a drink, burger, (whatever). And listen to her. Pay attention to her body language. When you are talking- does she lean closer to you, look in your eyes, touch your hand, arm, shoulder (whatever)? This is a natural response when you are interested in a person.
And seriously, relax. But be attentive.
Got it?
~l~
Last edited by Dragonfly8; 04-08-2011 at 11:23 AM..
Reason: can't say scr** this up
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