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Unread 04-04-2011, 09:49 AM
Status: "Chunk!" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Katonah, NY
14,704 posts, read 6,579,397 times
Reputation: 14401
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBCC View Post
I am so sick of these people pointing a finger at age difference couples, giving them a social stigma, and referring to gold diggers/big wallets.
I have an excellent and current relationship with my girlfriend for over three years now. She's 37, I'm 56. We both enjoy the outdoors, climbing, hiking, white water kayaking, motorcycling, have the same social groups and interests in cultural activities, enjoy going out dancing, having fun, - we are both professionals (in fact she has more of an education than I do) with our own businesses that allow us time to do "our thing" yet we have an active interest in what each other does. Her parents, siblings,kids, and relatives have accepted me as part of their family. My own kids from a previous marriage also get along just fine with her and she has not taken on a motherly, but a more friendly and sisterly relationship with them, and all get along just perfectly.
Forget the age difference; - it's who you are happy with, who makes your day every time you look at them, and makes you feel special.....and you do the same for them.
Her friends and my friends have included her as a welcome member to my life after a very unpleasant divorce over six years ago.
Those who decry, criticize, or point fingers cannot deprive me of the happiness and compatibility we both share. Point all you like. Bite me.

Well, I'd rather not bite you - so, I think I'll take a pass on that! Yikes!

This is the way I see things - I don't care who anyone is attracted to. You can like women half your age or women twice your age. You can like blondes or brunettes or redheads or Asians or Hispanics or tall women or short women or no women at all. What I find obnoxious is starting a thread about the women that someone doesn't find attractive! I don't find women in their 40's attractive. It wasn't that the OP was saying - I'm attracted to women in their 20's and 30's - it was that he was specifically saying that he didn't think women in their 40's were attractive. Why do that? I mean - when you put something like that in a thread - you're going to have to take the backlash that is most definitely going to be coming to you.

And as for you - you didn't talk about all the women your age that aren't attractive - you simply talked about your own successful relationship with someone younger than you. It wasn't about how awful women in their 40's and 50's are - it was about how wonderful your partner is. You see the difference?

 
Unread 04-04-2011, 10:18 AM
 
3,062 posts, read 3,586,287 times
Reputation: 3144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
...What I find obnoxious is starting a thread about the women that someone doesn't find attractive! I don't find women in their 40's attractive. It wasn't that the OP was saying - I'm attracted to women in their 20's and 30's - it was that he was specifically saying that he didn't think women in their 40's were attractive. Why do that? I mean - when you put something like that in a thread - you're going to have to take the backlash that is most definitely going to be coming to you.

And as for you - you didn't talk about all the women your age that aren't attractive - you simply talked about your own successful relationship with someone younger than you. It wasn't about how awful women in their 40's and 50's are - it was about how wonderful your partner is. You see the difference?
Very well said. You nailed it.
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 10:42 AM
 
6,883 posts, read 7,322,519 times
Reputation: 5492
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
There is a whole lot of difference between an attractive woman at 25 and that same woman at 40. Its biology at work. The look that 25 year olds' hormones creates are not duplicated by exercise or cosmetic surgery or pills or diet. Sorry.
There are several problems with this statement. First, not everyone ages at the same rate. Some people do a much better job of taking care of themselves than others. Just look at Lindsay Lohan and Halle Berry. One's in her 20s and the other's in her 40s. But you can tell just by looking at Lohan how much she's abused her body, which is why most guys I know find Berry much more attractive. Second, how attractive you find someone goes beyond just the physical. I can meet plenty of hot 20somethings, but once I get a glimpse of their personality, I'm completely turned off. There's a lot of self-centeredness, insecurity, and immaturity that their looks just can't make up for. A lot of women don't become truly comfortable with themselves until they're older. Confidence is sexy. How many times have we heard that before? That's why, in a lot of cases, the confident older women can completely put younger women to shame.
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Springfield MO
438 posts, read 770,839 times
Reputation: 433
Yes dewdrop, lecture understood.
However, I would add that I do find woman way more attractive in their 40+ mature years, with the odd line of experience showing. They also tend to take better care of themselves through exercise, and are more feminine (dress better than a lot of their younger counterparts etc,) and have generally gained some culture along with life's experience that makes them a better deal.
And there are plenty of women well over that age than can still turn heads.....
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 01:14 PM
 
8,205 posts, read 10,115,980 times
Reputation: 5856
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
There are several problems with this statement. First, not everyone ages at the same rate. Some people do a much better job of taking care of themselves than others. Just look at Lindsay Lohan and Halle Berry. One's in her 20s and the other's in her 40s. But you can tell just by looking at Lohan how much she's abused her body, which is why most guys I know find Berry much more attractive. Second, how attractive you find someone goes beyond just the physical. I can meet plenty of hot 20somethings, but once I get a glimpse of their personality, I'm completely turned off. There's a lot of self-centeredness, insecurity, and immaturity that their looks just can't make up for. A lot of women don't become truly comfortable with themselves until they're older. Confidence is sexy. How many times have we heard that before? That's why, in a lot of cases, the confident older women can completely put younger women to shame.
Denny, I think you misread my comment. I said the same woman is better looking at 25 than at 40. Of course there are better looking 40 years olds than a drunken **** like LLo, although I wouldn't put Halle Berry as one of them. Maybe Gwyneth Paltrow. And, you further misread my remark that the hormonal glow that a 25 year old has is what may be attractive to the OP. He may be shallow in your opinion for this, ok. But, I never said that a 40 year old wouldn't likely have more personality or be a better companion. Married to a very accomplished 40 year old myself, after chasing a lot of hot bodies, I can tell the difference. And that's why I advised the OP that eventually his interest in the physical aspects of the 25ers would fade. It will.
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 04:11 PM
 
2,922 posts, read 1,708,864 times
Reputation: 3683
Quote:
Originally Posted by df175 View Post
I'm in my early 40s and I've realized in the last 2-3 years just how uninterested I am in single women around my age. There are always exceptions, but it's rare. I mostly find women around 5-10 years younger attractive, holding most other factors equal.

Recently I was put in kind of an awkward situation where a woman with whom I was socially acquainted put me on the spot. In many objective ways we were compatible but the chemistry just wasn't there on my part. To be clear, I never led her on.

The long and the short of it was that she dumped on me with an accusative tone about "age-ism" and about how hard it's been for her to get dates, almost pleading for some kind of sympathy or justification. It was hard for me to deny, but what can I do?

I don't think my feelings make me a bad person. I mean, if the mojo is not there, it's just not there. I cannot rationalize away my gut reactions.

Many women seems to put a lot of stock in youthful looks and even if they are accomplished in other ways, it seems a deep blow for them to lose them, to lose the attention of men that comes automatically and in abundance.

Few men are rarely so handsome as to attract women based on mostly looks (including myself!), so I think that women should understand that it's hard to be genuinely sympathetic. Intellectually I can see from where aging women are coming, but not at a visceral level.
You are correct..if the mojo is not there, then it's just not there. You can't control yours and women in the dating pool can't control theirs. Just don't get upset if your dating prospects, pretty and 5-10 years younger than you, dump you when they see a better looking prospect for themselves later on. You may be able to keep a hold with money, but please don't accuse the younger woman of gold digging if this turns out to be the case. I'd love to have a Mercedez Benz, but I doubt that I could afford the payments, if you get my drift.

I've found this is the way it tends to work with the younger crowd: Western society practically deifies the young. Dating-wise, the world is their oyster. so they are constantly aware of the fact that they can pretty much do better for a partner if the care to. Stay aware of this fact and all should be well. Good luck.
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 850,365 times
Reputation: 1691
*sigh*

Anybody else notice that the Opee only has 2 posts, and that they're both in the first two pages of this thread?
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 06:05 PM
 
8,205 posts, read 10,115,980 times
Reputation: 5856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Vanderburgh View Post
*sigh*

Anybody else notice that the Opee only has 2 posts, and that they're both in the first two pages of this thread?

You don't get the forum thing, do you?
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Anchorage, Ak
1,413 posts, read 1,613,918 times
Reputation: 1308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Vanderburgh View Post
*sigh*

Anybody else notice that the Opee only has 2 posts, and that they're both in the first two pages of this thread?
Hit and run
 
Unread 04-04-2011, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 850,365 times
Reputation: 1691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
You don't get the forum thing, do you?
I think I'm starting to.

And that scares me.
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