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Old 04-06-2011, 12:10 AM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,662 posts, read 25,386,581 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy View Post
"When a women is in a relationship there is always another guy waiting in the wing just in case the current guy messes up",,
Many women have told me they never break up till they have a new man to fall on. The women do not want to be without a date Friday night.
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:24 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,251,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saberai View Post
I don't have any guy waiting on me for my boyfriend to mess up soooo it meant that she already got a guy on the side.
Women like to keep their options open. Don't believe the sentimental bs.
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:28 AM
 
Location: 60630
11,670 posts, read 17,085,369 times
Reputation: 10754
Of course it is true!!
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,088 posts, read 16,962,436 times
Reputation: 10278
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
Many women have told me they never break up till they have a new man to fall on. The women do not want to be without a date Friday night.
Interesting that you state that. I think there are a good number of people (women and men) who cannot handle being single.

From another website where I read it first (i.e. I'm not the author of the following):

Quote:
Theory of the Monkey

My theory has to do with women in relationships... first we must start off by pointing out that women are 1)Competitive 2)Insecure.

When I say this I don't mean it in a degrading way... they feel competitive when it comes to dating, hence the makeup, outfits, flirting, etc.
And by insecure, they worry about how they look, come across, etc... kind of goes hand in hand with competitive. So to keep your woman happy, you need to eliminate that need to be competitive, and make her feel secure.

When your girl is in this "mode" she is like a monkey swinging on a vine. (Guys are represented by the Vine) Should she start to feel the need to be competitve, or feel insecure in the relationship, she's gonna start looking for other vines. Now remember the last thing this "monkey" wants to do is hit the ground, so she's not gonna let go of one vine until she has a firm grasp on the next one... and when she has this new vine... she doesn't think much about the old one... and if she does... she's swung on a bunch of different vines to decide that was the one for her.

Back to my earlier "control" speech... what happens when we make that move (aka) break the vine. Well that's when you see some interesting things, cause that monkey's gonna grab WHATEVER vine is close to keep from hitting the ground.

Guys... a falling monkey is sometimes the best to catch... cause these re-bounders are rare to take control of the relationship... and you can pretty much get away with murder... look at OJ
Girls... this is a bad situation, and you've got friends in these relationships, you know the jerks they're dating

Sometimes monkey's hit the ground... and we've all been there... and it takes a little time for them to get up, brush themselves off, and start to walk saying "I don't need those stinky vines" until one day when they least expect it... there it is right in front of them... another vine... and the vicious circle repeats itself.

Now there are always exceptions... Flying monkeys (they like to tap a lot of vines as they fly by), Walking Monkeys (they don't need no vine) etc.

But all in all, in my vast history of dating, I have found this to be mostly true... and before you answer or post... think about it... it will amaze you...
becuase believe it or not guys, we can be monkey's too.

Cause it's like Brad Pitt said "we're all monkeys" (12 Monkeys)

Good luck lovers and fighters!
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:48 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,522,383 times
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well - usually that man in waiting is the overeager friend who wants to be more than friends. and has wanted to for a long time but never had the guts to say it out loud.

it never works. just move on with your lives everyone.

and if you like someone and plan to "wait", just tell them. bruised egos can heal and you can start living your own life
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:10 AM
 
Location: The Big Orange (CA)
1,809 posts, read 3,024,057 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Well, I confess to being an overlapper. It seems that I haven't been completely single since I was 17 - and everytime I ended a relationship, it was for someone else. That isn't to say that the other man was the reason for relationship to end - more that the relationship was going down hill and I didn't realize it until I started falling for someone else and realized that I wasn't in love anymore with the first guy. I do not reccommend doing things this way - nor am I proud of it - but it's the truth. I'm a perfectionist and I always want things to be perfect - and sometimes it takes me awhile to realize when they aren't. And yes - there were men waiting in the wings that never got their chance. I think most men would probably say that I'm attractive - but I've never felt like I'm drop dead gorgeous or anything.

Just for the record - when I met my husband - I finally realized what it was like to be completely and utterly in love and I realized what it is to find your soul mate. Nobody else stood a chance from the day I realized I was in love with him - and we've been together for 9 years now and we're still completely and utterly in love with each other! I wish I had realized things were over with people I was with before I was emotionally attached to someone else - but you can't change the past. And if I had changed the past - I probably wouldn't have found the love of my life.
My case is similar. The major difference might be that it's not that I'm such a perfectionist: I'm just too impatient and moody (pathologically so). Or I was... I ended my relationships as soon as I had a shred of doubt about my feelings, too hastily sometimes (unlike you). I always jumped from one relationship to the next and was rather unfair with those affected. Just to clarify: I'm not proud at all, either. In fact, ethical conflict aside, it made my moodiness and unstability worse.

Like you, I've found the man I want to be with my whole life. I'm positive that he and my feelings for him have finally made me a better, more mature, far more stable and reliable human being. I hesitated at first because I had huge fears that it would be another failure of mine, but it's been nearly 6 years and it keeps improving. So no more wing people for me.

Last edited by noela; 04-06-2011 at 03:31 AM..
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:22 AM
 
Location: The Big Orange (CA)
1,809 posts, read 3,024,057 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx View Post
Way to generalize . I don't understand how some people take a concept and tend to apply it to EVERY situation, including relationships. What you're describing is a woman who doesn't want to be alone and jumps from relationship to relationship, that's obviously not an emotionally healthy woman.
Absolutely. I was emotionally very unhealthy and I couldn't make up my mind for long. I felt a pulsating need to love and be loved and I was always confused. It took me a while to become an adult woman and now that I am, I realise I could and actually would need to be alone if my current relationship ended. Those people who systematically won't take time to heal will never be happy and whole, in my opinion.
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:09 AM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,615 posts, read 48,484,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Women like to keep their options open. Don't believe the sentimental bs.
I was keeping my options open too when I was going on what I called practice dates but I was criticized
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:15 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,711,240 times
Reputation: 26436
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy View Post
I was keeping my options open too when I was going on what I called practice dates but I was criticized
So that was another brilliant idea which went down the tubes?
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Old 04-06-2011, 06:45 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 1,853,314 times
Reputation: 1583
That's bull. No guy in the wings for me. I love my S/O...no other guy stands a chance!
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