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Old 04-07-2011, 11:35 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,335 posts, read 9,070,826 times
Reputation: 8005
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
Find a better counselor. Seriously.
Forget counseling.

[this relationship is not worth saving]
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:50 PM
 
Location: owensboro ky
4 posts, read 8,060 times
Reputation: 18
please don't stay with this man. The violence is still there and he is still intimadating u. you need a new counselor. call your local battered womens shelter and ask their opinion. u r exposing yourself to potential danger. PLEASE LEAVE at least for now.
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,335 posts, read 9,070,826 times
Reputation: 8005
Quote:
Originally Posted by cesarsjewels View Post
...PLEASE LEAVE at least for now.
Disagree. Leave FOREVER.

[why would anyone try to salvage this wreck of a "relationship"?]
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Old 04-08-2011, 12:53 AM
 
34 posts, read 25,591 times
Reputation: 17
Thanks for all the advice. He's out of the army right now and I feel like now since he has nobody to answer to he's acting up.He said the reason he threw the phone was because I accuse him of cheating.And without proof I was wrong.Our lease is about to be up and since he's back to throwing things i do not want to sign another one with him.I am not setting the bar low since no one is perfect,when im mad i've thrown things to.
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Old 04-08-2011, 01:09 AM
 
1,426 posts, read 1,027,038 times
Reputation: 1799
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1986 View Post
Thanks for all the advice. He's out of the army right now and I feel like now since he has nobody to answer to he's acting up.He said the reason he threw the phone was because I accuse him of cheating.And without proof I was wrong.Our lease is about to be up and since he's back to throwing things i do not want to sign another one with him.I am not setting the bar low since no one is perfect,when im mad i've thrown things to.
So you both are immature. The only difference is he's capable of causing harm to you. I agree with the leave him asap crowd. Just have family/friends with you when you decide to, as that's when he's most likely going to be set off and act like an idiot.

I'm a few years older than you, but I've never once thrown tantrums and objects at my wife.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:45 AM
 
1,597 posts, read 1,550,385 times
Reputation: 904
I smack my husband sometimes when Im mad at him....should he leave me?

Should he seek a male shelter and get a restraining order against me?
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:06 AM
 
Location: overlooking the mighty MO
697 posts, read 664,366 times
Reputation: 1115
get the hell out of the house--- I can't beleive your defending his and your actions-- chances are you are the next thing to be thrown --most likely against the wall
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
13,826 posts, read 8,813,496 times
Reputation: 11019
Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
Forget counseling.

[this relationship is not worth saving]
Oh. I meant a personal counselor just for the OP.
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
13,826 posts, read 8,813,496 times
Reputation: 11019
Quote:
Originally Posted by DONNIEANDDONNA417 View Post
I smack my husband sometimes when Im mad at him....should he leave me?

Should he seek a male shelter and get a restraining order against me?
Depends on how hard you hit.
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Nova
486 posts, read 933,452 times
Reputation: 269
I've been there before...almost an identical situation.

You two are not fighting well; you are not mixing well at all. You may still be "in love" with this guy (maybe?) but you can't possibly love him. There is a difference between the two

The person who I was with ended up changing... we figured out a new rhythm that worked for us. He isn't triggered to explode at all anymore, and I changed my reaction to him. But, that is to say it takes a lot of work, and is stressful. It takes a lot of time and energy in the relationship to get to this point and I probably wouldn't do it again if I could back track. You might always be questionning his fidelity and feel pushed down.

If you don't have kids, get out now. Your self-esteem is probably low from all of his abuse, you could be wrapped up in "him", but just do yourself a favor and grow as a person in a good way. Think of your own well being long-term. Do you want his behavior in your life for years to come? Grab your support friends/family and prepare to leave him.

If he explodes again, call the police to have it on record.

Next counselling session, ask your counsellor why you should set the bar so low for your love life? Tell her you are deserving of more and see what she says.
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