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Old 04-08-2011, 07:06 PM
 
11,735 posts, read 10,595,093 times
Reputation: 4237
Looks like he has anger management issues... he is choosing a destructive way to vent which isn't good for you or the relationship...
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:13 PM
 
2,860 posts, read 3,050,585 times
Reputation: 5967
Quote:
He's abused me, cheated on me a couple of times .It's been 2 yrs since he hit me
And your thread is about him "throwing things?"

Kind of like a Jew in 1943 starting a thread entitled "My dog has a cough" and then in the body of the message adding, "I was deported from my apartment, my children were beaten to death and I'm on my way to Auschwitz."

Literally.

You stay with a man that hits you?

LEAVE! Once a man hits you, that's it.

My husband throws things too when he's mad. The difference is, he has never cheated on me in 30 years, has never abused me and treats me beautifully. But he'll throw a magazine at the wall when he's frustrated at work.

See the difference?

Get the h--- out of there!
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
2,908 posts, read 3,395,405 times
Reputation: 2692
OP-Unless you want to be a casualty, you better get the hell out, seriously
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Hoyvík, Faroe Islands
378 posts, read 296,301 times
Reputation: 153
You should rethink the nature of your relationship with him. Have him move out but invite him over during the day. You should keep him in the BF zone. He can go back to his own place when he wants to throw things.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,612 posts, read 2,036,341 times
Reputation: 1781
Sounds as though he is a good candidate for "Anger Management," and needs some serious immediate intervention and counseling.

The average battered wife goes back 7 times before either leaving for good, or being found dead.

Don't be the average wife.

ANY man that raises his hands to another human is a coward- everyone has the right to live a violent free life. A real man walks away when angry.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:34 PM
Status: "A gentle man and a gentleman." (set 4 days ago)
 
15,725 posts, read 7,129,451 times
Reputation: 11035
I've never raised my hand to a woman. I never have, and I never will.

Why do women stay with men who beat them?
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,612 posts, read 2,036,341 times
Reputation: 1781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post

Why do women stay with men who beat them?
I used to volunteer at a women's shelter, but it got too mentally and emotionally exhausting. So after a few years, I had to leave. Despite having small children, and putting not only themselves in danger, but also their children, they would go back. It was tough to see, but you can't stop it- it's their "right".

I think they go back for a number of reasons ... No means of support, no where to go, people who don't support them (emotionally, mentally, etc) and huge lack of esteem. They feel worthless, hopeless, depressed, a vicious toxic cycle. After a while, some battered wives go far as to provoke it simply to get it over with since they know it's coming ... It's heartbreaking.

What is wrong with a man that he can't control himself and feels the need to beat a woman and the kids till they are down and begging for their life ??? Sickening to me.

I think the worse part is people will say, "Why did you stay, you must have liked it". Who the F would like that ?? The real question is, "What is wrong with him that he needs to lift his hands to someone weaker, does he hate women, or was he abused himself as a child".
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:02 PM
Status: "A gentle man and a gentleman." (set 4 days ago)
 
15,725 posts, read 7,129,451 times
Reputation: 11035
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImCurlybelle View Post
I used to volunteer at a women's shelter, but it got too mentally and emotionally exhausting. So after a few years, I had to leave. Despite having small children, and putting not only themselves in danger, but also their children, they would go back. It was tough to see, but you can't stop it- it's their "right".

I think they go back for a number of reasons ... No means of support, no where to go, people who don't support them (emotionally, mentally, etc) and huge lack of esteem. They feel worthless, hopeless, depressed, a vicious toxic cycle. After a while, some battered wives go far as to provoke it simply to get it over with since they know it's coming ... It's heartbreaking.

What is wrong with a man that he can't control himself and feels the need to beat a woman and the kids till they are down and begging for their life ??? Sickening to me.

I think the worse part is people will say, "Why did you stay, you must have liked it". Who the F would like that ?? The real question is, "What is wrong with him that he needs to lift his hands to someone weaker, does he hate women, or was he abused himself as a child".
I can't answer any of these questions, because I don't have the ability to harm women, mostly because I had to defend my aunt from some of it and I've seen some of those effects you've posted. She was married to a man who drank, but that's another story.

I've dated women who were strong enough to leave relationships with me who were on the verge of abusing them in some way

So I guess another question would be: why would a woman stay with a man after the first time she was physically abused? I guess mentally would go with it, but I mostly hear about physical abuse.
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:39 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 32,237,646 times
Reputation: 21458
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post
I can't answer any of these questions, because I don't have the ability to harm women, mostly because I had to defend my aunt from some of it and I've seen some of those effects you've posted. She was married to a man who drank, but that's another story.

I've dated women who were strong enough to leave relationships with me who were on the verge of abusing them in some way

So I guess another question would be: why would a woman stay with a man after the first time she was physically abused? I guess mentally would go with it, but I mostly hear about physical abuse.
It makes you wonder what the difference is. Not all women (or men) stay with an abuser. Some women will leave as soon as they see it's turning into physical abuse or sooner than that.

And others will keep going back for more, the shelter here has to remove all phones because so many women get there and start calling husbands or even just boyfriends to let them know where they are. Now why would they do that???
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Old 04-09-2011, 12:15 AM
 
25 posts, read 21,947 times
Reputation: 17
Default um

So many people in thie thread fail to see that i said 2 yrs ago het hit me he has been in therpy he has not hit me Since ,nor cheated yet people in here are ignoring that.Im saying what should you do when he throws things?
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