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well as an educated woman, i have to say moving down in education or salary is almost always a bad thing. insecure men do not make good partners
apparently someone who repped my comment thinks that "having to have money is a mark of insecurity"
well genuis -- i plan to make my own money and not live off of the guy. but some guys have told me int he past they are uncomfortable dating women who make more than them.
so you passive aggressive moron, hope this responds appropriately to your concern.
I read this forum and get the feeling that for many of you high speed internet dating is a sport, an end in and of itself. And worse than that, it seems that many are not actually dating at all, but more window shopping. I guess I can see the allure, but I think the danger quickly becomes that you dismiss people too summarily, knowing there is a endless procession of "possibilities" around every corner. When most everyone is doing this it does create a kind of spoof on dating, a charade. It truly makes me wonder how many of you really want to find someone. If not, and you know it, if you are in it more for the sport, then I'd say that's great. But I just wonder if some of you aren't deluding yourselves, much more intrigued by the hunt than the actual catch than you are aware of? For others, I wonder if searching for someone is a way to tell yourselves that you are doing everything that you can. Loneliness is no fun, but investing in a committed relationship is not for everyone either. My only point with this thread is to ask the question that if you are certain that you really want to go to all of the trouble of a relationship, and if the honest answer is 'Yes', are you sure that the shotgun approach is the best way to go about it.
Are you saying that you think that those who use sites such as match.com or similar sites, are wasting their time? I'm really not sure what you are trying to say here.
That's how it seems to me. Anybody agree, disagree?
I completely disagree.
Anyone that truly is looking for a serious relationship and has exercised even a few brain cells, will quickly come to the realization that internet sites such as match and POF are not simply a shopping aisle where you can cross things off your list...at least not if you want to be successful. I think many that go there on a fling, probably do initially think this.
I've used dating sites for years and I've been very successful. I know there is give and take, and that there are some things I simply will not ever tolerate (not even from a dude on the street - the source makes no difference I assure you) and there are other things that I have found that I have thrown completely out the window when faced with an abundance of the right mix of character/personality/appeal. Every single one of my serious relationships in the last 6 years or so, began with an email from someone online.
Dating online is just a tool. How it's used is up to the people involved. It will be as shallow as the people or as meaningful. True there are photos but you also have to fill out a profile. Profiles are a kind of essay test which gives a potential interest a clue into how someone thinks and communicates. So it's more than a beauty contest.
I didn't write that comment Sydney, but education is not always an indication of salary or intelligence. Many successful people dropped out of school. Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard at 19. Co-founder of Microsoft, Paul Allen dropped out of college too.
Are you saying that you think that those who use sites such as match.com or similar sites, are wasting their time? I'm really not sure what you are trying to say here.
Nothing's a waste of time that works. I honestly am not saying anything definitive here, as much as I am posing a question. So often we go through the motions in whatever we are doing, almost by rote, without considering if there is a better way. I've never done the dating service thing, not before or since the internet came along. My only observation is it looks cold, and due to the nature of it, surface. Though I was offered a job right out of college to interview prospective guests for The New Dating Game; man, I still don't know what I was thinking turning down that job. They weren't paying much, but I guess they figured the fringe benefits would more than make up for it.
I'm such a stupid romantic. I swear I can fall in love waiting on line at the supermarket. And yes, it's often not reciprocal. I'm more just a guy with his nose pressed up against the candy store window. I am married, and contrary to the impression I sometimes make on here, I am faithful and just trying to have a little fun, so this is not for me. Maybe I am living vicariously, though of course I do remember that the single life was nowhere near perfect either. But I am in no way trying to criticize anyone's chosen method of dating. Believe me. I have my hands full trying to navigate my own life, and this may sound corny, but if I can raise a question that may benefit someone by causing them to reevaluate their choices and at the same time kill a monotonous Sunday afternoon, then why not?
But I am in no way trying to criticize anyone's chosen method of dating. Believe me. I have my hands full trying to navigate my own life, and this may sound corny, but if I can raise a question that may benefit someone by causing them to reevaluate their choices and at the same time kill a monotonous Sunday afternoon, then why not?
The "method of dating" is no different whether you met the person via a dating site, or in the library, or via a friend. The only difference is HOW you met. Dating is dating...it's done in person, no matter how you met.
I find internet dating to be very in-organic. Probably would not meet someone that way, it seems too "logical" and yep process of elimination to select the best candidate..... not very romantic or unconditional now is it?
1) Love is unconditional, relationships are not.
2) No one is getting anything romantic or unconditional out of me when I don't even know them.
3) You come across far more prospects online in one day (I've gotten up to 40 emails) than you would in weeks or even months of just leaving the house. I don't know that many people have the time it takes to give every one of these people a chance. So, the process of elimination is almost necessary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mircea
Uh, wut?
Perhaps you don't understand the meaning of "compromise."
If you are wrongfully equating "compromise" to "sacrifice" then you're in the wrong relationship.
The whole purpose of dating is to find someone who has the same basic or general life goals as you do, and when you find them, then you commit yourself to an exclusive relationship that will lead to marriage, assuming you both have marriage as a common goal.
Agreed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Humble
When there are so many options, perceived or real, do we give new people the chance they deserve?
Why do we owe these new people a chance? And how can you be sure they deserve it if they are new? All we really have to go on is what we read on their profiles and what they have the most in common with us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Humble
How 'bout this? If it has become such a norm in dating, do you find that less people are even willing to entertain the possibility of meeting the old fashioned way? I can almost hear the conversation between two twenty somethings at the local pub. "Yeah, you seem like someone I might like to date, but I'll tell ya what. Let's hookup on Facebook first, see how that goes."
If the old fashioned way is at the local pub, I'll skip it. As far as my experience, online dating allowed me to lay it all out up front as far as what I do and don't want. These men would have to be OK with it, or else why write? I was also able to gauge whether or not to bother meeting them by the way they communicated, what they asked, what they shared. I had some colorful email exchanges, and a couple of colorful meets. But I was able to weed out a lot of losers and spared myself a lot of grief going this route. I met the most wonderful man, the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I work from home and, while I will strike up a conversation with anyone, I usually socialize with people I already know. I don't go out to meet men or pick them up. So. the online thing really came in handy for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
The "method of dating" is no different whether you met the person via a dating site, or in the library, or via a friend. The only difference is HOW you met. Dating is dating...it's done in person, no matter how you met.
It always seems to come back to this, doesn't it?
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I'm really not sure what you are trying to say here.
