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Old 04-11-2011, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Vegas, baby, Vegas!
3,164 posts, read 3,493,337 times
Reputation: 2984

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The Man Rules
a basic guide for women and relationships


These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:13 AM
 
4,876 posts, read 5,770,809 times
Reputation: 3451
1. Have you ever sat down on a toilet seat that was up ? Seriously, I want you to remove your boxers, shut the light off in the bathroom and sit down and IN the cold porclean of the toilet. Now after that..try to get out of the porclean bowl....
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:20 AM
 
1,120 posts, read 1,016,592 times
Reputation: 1200
Quote:
Originally Posted by macgeek View Post
The Man Rules
a basic guide for women and relationships

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.
Haha funny. Strongly agree with sports, directions, colors, clothes and shoes. I'm so tired of the answer "nothing" to "what's wrong?" that I don't ask it anymore... I've found creative ways to approach the situation.

Disagree with bathroom seat, maybe because I grew up with all females, but it seems proper to put the seat down.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:24 AM
 
4,876 posts, read 5,770,809 times
Reputation: 3451
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
Haha funny. Strongly agree with sports, directions, colors, clothes and shoes. I'm so tired of the answer "nothing" to "what's wrong?" that I don't ask it anymore... I've found creative ways to approach the situation.

Disagree with bathroom seat, maybe because I grew up with all females, but it seems proper to put the seat down.
Thank you
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
13,217 posts, read 10,869,352 times
Reputation: 20462
Quote:
Disagree with bathroom seat, maybe because I grew up with all females, but it seems proper to put the seat down.
Not just the seat, the whole lid. Every time.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:39 AM
 
1,120 posts, read 1,016,592 times
Reputation: 1200
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Not just the seat, the whole lid. Every time.
With guys like the OP, I'm surprised you're so demanding. Meet us half way .
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:45 AM
 
421 posts, read 474,151 times
Reputation: 408
Quote:
Originally Posted by WannaliveinGreenville View Post
1. Have you ever sat down on a toilet seat that was up ? Seriously, I want you to remove your boxers, shut the light off in the bathroom and sit down and IN the cold porclean of the toilet. Now after that..try to get out of the porclean bowl....
Ok point noted. But lets stop acting as if women have all the rights in this ancient issue:
When done, lower it for your man, or raise it for your lady. Fair enough??
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,863 posts, read 1,439,129 times
Reputation: 2154
Quote:
Originally Posted by macgeek View Post
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Why would we? It doesn't affect our DIDs.

I've never lived with an SO, but I've contemplated the idea of sittting while taking a pee if my SO happens to be anal about that sort of bathroom etiquette. I'll probably never follow through though. I just don't have that kind of patience. Btw, it has nothing to do with being less of man like you'd have thunk.

Quote:
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yep, there're all synonymous in this case.

Quote:
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Almost ? That saddens me. Almost drastically changes the ball game.

Quote:
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
I'm very passionate about this problem.

If you already have a solution, then I suggest you mention it during the conversation. Plus, it keeps getting mentioned that men are wired that way. If that's the case, then why try to change us, or why get mad when we recommend solutions. That's just senseless.


Quote:
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
But I do.

Quote:
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
16's a lot for a guy like me.

Quote:
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle
Quote:
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Speak for yourself. I'm a glutton for punishment.

Quote:
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.
In agreement with every sentence.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 1,031,226 times
Reputation: 1704
Wall urinals = problem solved.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:05 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,191 posts, read 2,323,308 times
Reputation: 2408
Quote:
Originally Posted by WannaliveinGreenville View Post
1. Have you ever sat down on a toilet seat that was up ? Seriously, I want you to remove your boxers, shut the light off in the bathroom and sit down and IN the cold porclean of the toilet. Now after that..try to get out of the porclean bowl....
Just as a man has to put it down or up to use it, why not the women do the same, both ways, correct? 50/50? Take care.
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