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I'm having a very similar problem, I have a 24 year old son and his girlfriend, causes so much grief to my entire family. I have 4 other sons and she caused turmoil in 2 of his older brothers lives. She is pushy and she loves to judge . The other night she was over and started to say things I prefer to stay natural in because I know the minute I say anything my son would be upset.
He never tells her to stop speaking to me that way, in fact if I try and stand up to her ( which was something new to both the other night) they stop out and he wont see me for months. Last time she didn't let him near his brothers and me for almost a year.
I want her gone!
There has to ne someone out there who has had this problem, Anyone please help me out. he is ignoring my calls , txt.
I'm having a very similar problem, I have a 24 year old son and his girlfriend, causes so much grief to my entire family. I have 4 other sons and she caused turmoil in 2 of his older brothers lives. She is pushy and she loves to judge . The other night she was over and started to say things I prefer to stay natural in because I know the minute I say anything my son would be upset.
He never tells her to stop speaking to me that way, in fact if I try and stand up to her ( which was something new to both the other night) they stop out and he wont see me for months. Last time she didn't let him near his brothers and me for almost a year.
I want her gone!
There has to ne someone out there who has had this problem, Anyone please help me out. he is ignoring my calls , txt.
He's an adult.
Unless you think your childrearing skills were so terrible that he's not capable of being in charge of his own life as an adult, you need to accept his choices.
Even if you don't like them.
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I'm having a very similar problem, I have a 24 year old son and his girlfriend, causes so much grief to my entire family. I have 4 other sons and she caused turmoil in 2 of his older brothers lives. She is pushy and she loves to judge . The other night she was over and started to say things I prefer to stay natural in because I know the minute I say anything my son would be upset.
He never tells her to stop speaking to me that way, in fact if I try and stand up to her ( which was something new to both the other night) they stop out and he wont see me for months. Last time she didn't let him near his brothers and me for almost a year.
I want her gone!
There has to ne someone out there who has had this problem, Anyone please help me out. he is ignoring my calls , txt.
I'm having a very similar problem, I have a 24 year old son and his girlfriend, causes so much grief to my entire family. I have 4 other sons and she caused turmoil in 2 of his older brothers lives. She is pushy and she loves to judge . The other night she was over and started to say things I prefer to stay natural in because I know the minute I say anything my son would be upset.
He never tells her to stop speaking to me that way, in fact if I try and stand up to her ( which was something new to both the other night) they stop out and he wont see me for months. Last time she didn't let him near his brothers and me for almost a year.
I want her gone!
There has to ne someone out there who has had this problem, Anyone please help me out. he is ignoring my calls , txt.
Your house, your rules. I would have put her in her place, and if he didn't like it, too bad. Go and sulk for 6 months, kid. Wills and estates can be changed.
Still have not heard from my son, I have sent him numerous txt mgs and have called him. I get nothing, he didn't come to Christmas and its coming up to my birthday/my moms first death anniversary. (both on the same day)
My heart says he wont be here.
I miss him so much. I did a video that I was going to post on YOU Tube about women and their family cult like behavior, but my friends quickly deleted. They tell me I just need to let go. Them of course have no children. Not a day goes by that he isn't on my mind. I went into some pretty dark places in my head for a bit there, but realizing I'm hurting myself not him.
He will see what she, this I know....the day he settles his claim she will ask for all the money she has ever spent on him, with her nothing is free.
She is a bottom feeder as her mother.
Ill just sit and wait with the door wide open and my arms open for him.
Hard to put into words the way i feel. My son is now 20 he joined the army at 16 years old and been with his girlfriend from been 14.they are now engaged iv allways got on well with her but feel she has been very spoilt by her parents always had what ever she wants and gets her own way thats not the problem here tho the problems is she makes all the plans to suit her and my son does what ever she wants obviously to keep her happy which i have never tried to change this are say anything about i just let it go when iv asked them to come for tea are if they want to do anything n they ssy no i respect there wish as i understand my son is only here at the weekends n wants to be with her. So i get on with my life i work fulltime n im a single mum so i like to go out once a week eather a friday are saterday. My son has turned up 2 are 3 times when im just going out and i new he had the face on b4 about this but 3 weeks ago he turnd up on a saterday afternoon n i had called to the pub for a shandy as i had the car. He rang to see were i was as soon as i said just at the pub he got angry an put the phone down. Then i got loads of abusive txt and now he will not even talk to me this is absolutely killing he has said im a **** mum im a joke iv not been a parent to him since he went in the army. I dont know what iv done so wrong are so bad to make him feel that way apart from not been in a few times when he has turned up. Iv said he should have rang me and i would be more than happy to see him if i new new he was comming. I miss him so much and want to spend time with him but it just seem so difficult to do this and now he is ignoring my calls my txt. It is breaking my heart and macking me deeply sad i cant think of anything but him and want to resolve things but dont no how the things he has said are so hurtfull n when iv said he is upsetting me he is having ago at me for macking it about myself n not understanding how he feels.
Your baby will always be your baby to you, but its time to cut the umbilical cord. You have had 18 years to raise, teach and guide him. The fledgling has now left the nest.
I think some parents become more controlling than they always were when they realize that the age of consent is on the immediate horizon for their child. My house, my rules is the way things go with a child of any age, so he has to leave your house to explore his own rules. Honestly, it sounds like he would never get the opportunity to try to be his own man while living under your roof.
His relationship with this girl may last a life time. Or it could end tomorrow. You say she is controlling, but have you read what you have written about the whole dynamic between the three of you? You seem to have a control issue yourself, and aside from feeling sad about watching your baby bird take flight for the first time what seems to be bothering you the most is the fact you are no longer in control.
None of this is to say that you are bad, but to explain their reactions to you. It would be great if you can now turn your attention to other things that you wanted to do when he was a child but couldn't. Your job of raising a baby is done. Its time to get back in touch with your husband as your love and with yourself as that person you were before you became a mother.
EDIT: Sorry, just realized this is a resurrected thread.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 10-22-2018 at 04:39 AM..
Hard to put into words the way i feel. My son is now 20 he joined the army at 16 years old and been with his girlfriend from been 14.they are now engaged iv allways got on well with her but feel she has been very spoilt by her parents always had what ever she wants and gets her own way thats not the problem here tho the problems is she makes all the plans to suit her and my son does what ever she wants obviously to keep her happy which i have never tried to change this are say anything about i just let it go when iv asked them to come for tea are if they want to do anything n they ssy no i respect there wish as i understand my son is only here at the weekends n wants to be with her. So i get on with my life i work fulltime n im a single mum so i like to go out once a week eather a friday are saterday. My son has turned up 2 are 3 times when im just going out and i new he had the face on b4 about this but 3 weeks ago he turnd up on a saterday afternoon n i had called to the pub for a shandy as i had the car. He rang to see were i was as soon as i said just at the pub he got angry an put the phone down. Then i got loads of abusive txt and now he will not even talk to me this is absolutely killing he has said im a **** mum im a joke iv not been a parent to him since he went in the army. I dont know what iv done so wrong are so bad to make him feel that way apart from not been in a few times when he has turned up. Iv said he should have rang me and i would be more than happy to see him if i new new he was comming. I miss him so much and want to spend time with him but it just seem so difficult to do this and now he is ignoring my calls my txt. It is breaking my heart and macking me deeply sad i cant think of anything but him and want to resolve things but dont no how the things he has said are so hurtfull n when iv said he is upsetting me he is having ago at me for macking it about myself n not understanding how he feels.
*sigh* Old thread, but anyone parenting older teens or young adults... I feel ya. I'm right in the thick of it myself. My sons are 19 and 17. I don't truly approve of a number of choices that either of them are making right now. All I can do is let them know what I think, which I do, but understand they are of an age to need to learn their lessons the hard way. Just like I did, when I was younger (and hell, at times since then, too.) I mean, I could really wish they would not wade right into disaster like I did, that they'd actually listen, but, what's a Mom to do? The kids think I'm old and lame and don't know nothin' about nothin'. They are the first persons ever to deal with the things they've dealt with, it's all new under the sun, and parents could not possibly relate. Surely it was so very much different in the "old days" when the parents were young people. Guess to some extent, every generation has to reinvent the wheel.
I'm just trying to not say, "I told you so" out loud when I am thinking it. Which is often.
I've read a lot of posts on this forum, and after some thought I decided to post my problem.
My son has been with the same girl for six years (he's in his 20s). When they were first together, I thought she was great. She's quite smart, seems friendly enough, and is about to start her Master's degree.
The problem is, after they'd been together for about a year, she and her mother became insanely possessive of my son. For example, when they were still 17, they'd be at my house, and her mother would come and pick them up and take them to their house without letting me know. Their excuse would be that they just felt like going over there, but honestly, I felt that something fishy was going on there. I felt like they were sneaking around behind my back. This would happen ALL THE TIME. Why should they want to be over at her house all time and never at my son's home??
The girlfriend also got increasingly rude toward me. She didn't want me to have any time alone with my son. She was ALWAYS over. She would show up when I told her that my son was doing homework and couldn't leave, and she'd meet him outside and they'd go for a "walk" (gone for hours and hours).
Then, suddenly, on his 18th birthday, he COMPLETELY cut contact with me and my husband. Since then (five years ago), the only contact he has had with us is to demand that we give him money from an inheritance account that my mother left him for college. Yes, this is his money, but this is literally the only contact he has had with us. He lives right now with his girlfriend and her parents. We have shown up at their house several times and demanded to have contact with our son because we are just so worried about him. The girlfriend or her parents will answer the door and tell us that he isn't home, which we know is a lie.
Also, the girlfriend is convinced that we abused our son. She has called us child abusers several times. I don't know what lies my son told them, but we were very strict parents who always deeply loved our wonderful son. His wicked girlfriend's words hurt us so much because we care about our son so much. How dare she accuse us of anything.
We are just terrified of what will happen to our son. He is so deeply entrenched in this relationship. He believes everything they say and has abandoned the foundation of morals and ethics that we always made sure to enforce. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry this is so long and rambling, I'm just really upset. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just venting.
Sorry to hear this.
If it is his money, why in the world would he need to demand it? And if he is contacting you to gain access to what is his, it isn't about you. So don't count it as "contact with you". Give him the money which is owed to him, no questions asked. You have no right to keep it, that is stealing.
I would stop demanding contact with him since it isn't fruitful. He's an adult. It is telling he left right when he is 18 so there is something very deep going on there. Have you apologized or cared to know about what you did which is causing this? My Gosh you'd think that would be YOUR FIRST question right, especially if you care about him so much?? It certainly would be mine! please figure out what went wrong on your end and make amends. life is short.
Edited to add: Sorry just noticed this thread is OLD
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