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I've heard women say this as well as I've seen it written on dating profiles.
In explaining what they are looking for, they add: ".....my children come first..."
No need to say that, just mention that you have children. The message that it sends is--the guy is second and not THAT MUCH of a priority.
It comes across as if you're doing HIM a favor by giving him some of your time.
I'd go as far as saying most men know that YOUR children are a priority. Somethings just don't need to be explained. Also, guys don't want to be in a relationship and it feels like HE is tagging along for the ride.
The worst thing you can ever do to anyone is giving the feeling that they are not AS worthy.
Yeah, I know I'll get slammed for this one but oh well. AND no, I did not have this with a women. I don't date women with children.
Let'em rip......
ha! It sounds like resume advice. "Don't say this or that" but that doesn't mean you don't suck.
Saying things like that is simply a symptom of not having your ducks in a row even before having children.
I think the problem is really one of lack of specificity. It's understandable that children's needs come first, but their wantscan't and should not always be given priority over the mother's or relationship's needs and wants.
I think the problem is really one of lack of specificity. It's understandable that children's needs come first, but their wantscan't and should not always be given priority over the mother's or relationship's needs and wants.
I think the problem is really one of lack of specificity. It's understandable that children's needs come first, but their wantscan't and should not always be given priority over the mother's or relationship's needs and wants.
Absolutely. That should be a given as well. But we all know there are plenty of parents out there who can't tell the difference.
Absolutely. That should be a given as well. But we all know there are plenty of parents out there who can't tell the difference.
There are plenty of single people that can't tell the difference either.
I've known single women who have dated men who get angry or upset because they have to cancel because of a sick child or an emergency. They act like it's the end of the world because they didn't get to go out like planned.
There are plenty of single people that can't tell the difference either.
I've known single women who have dated men who get angry or upset because they have to cancel because of a sick child or an emergency. They act like it's the end of the world because they didn't get to go out like planned.
I agree, I stated that earlier. So, I see no problem with someone stating that up front.
I'm also with Chessie in that I see it as something to be praised.
In explaining what they are looking for, they add: ".....my children come first..."
I agree. Its implied that your family comes first but to spell it out is a put off. No one should write on any dating profile that anything comes first. It puts up an instant barrier.
Single Ladies with children: Stop saying this, if you do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
I think the problem is really one of lack of specificity. It's understandable that children's needs come first, but their wantscan't and should not always be given priority over the mother's or relationship's needs and wants.
Well said, nice to see some common sense on here! It is also nice when mother's know the difference between wants and needs of her children. I once dated a woman that would go without just so she could buy expensive designer tennis shoes for her son, who didn't appreciate them anyway.
But what does that portend for the women who DON'T put their kids first? What if they are willing to make you #1--before work, before kids?
As single mothers, we are damned if we do, and damned if we dont.
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Single Ladies with children: Stop saying this, if you do.
