So...I posted my situation
here fairly soon after breaking up w/ my ex. After about a month of not talking we started talking again (during finals time for both of us. I'm in my first year of rigorous professional school, she's in her last year of UG) but after a few weeks she said she couldn't trust that i wouldn't hurt her again and said we shouldn't talk.
The breakup was my fault and for xmas I wrote her a letter taking responsibility, explaining what i was doing to work on my issues, and said i'd be patient. I also sent her a little gift related to a passion of hers. She barely responded and it was clear that she wanted space so we haven't had any contact since.
In Jan she found out that i had asked a mutual friend if my ex was seeing anybody, got upset at both the friend and i, and blocked me on facebook (not defriend, which had already happened, but outright block)
Since then i've had a really tough time w/ some personal stuff that hadn't come up in my life until this tough school year began so that stress, coupled w/ my ex situation, has made the past six months the toughest of my life. BUT, since the breakup I have had regular visits with my school's counseling office and have worked hard at the issues that have been bothering me and have made some good progress. I feel much happier than i have been with school and genuinely enjoy the people around me. I feel like i'm back to my normal, happy-go-lucky self.
I'm happy w/ my progress but i'm still hung up on my ex. I probably talk about her too much but i've gotten better about it. I don't have her phone number, we're not friends on gchat, and while she unblocked me on FB a few weeks ago, we're not FB friends. I try to think about the reasons I broke up w/ her and try not to put her up on a pedestal. Despite all of this I still feel the pull to want to try again with her. I think much of the reason we broke up was the situation surrounding my first year of school and w/ that nearly behind me, the future isn't nearly as uncertain. I feel like i'm in a much better position mentally to try again.
I will be working thise summer in the same city as me ex (although I don't know if she'll be there for sure) and i'm really nervous about seeing her.
Any advice on how to proceed after several months of absolutely no contact?
Any advice on how to know if my feelings for her are genuinely as opposed to my ego being hurt still or wanting what i can't have?
PS. Sorry for the long rant...it's cathartic to put this in writing...
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