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Old 04-20-2011, 10:19 PM
 
80 posts, read 48,042 times
Reputation: 128
Default What do you look for in a significant other

What do you look for in a significant other and do you have those traits yourself, or do you need them to offset a lack of them in your own character.

Some say opposites attract but I think being too far opposite will have a straining effect on a relationship.


am a confirmed bachelor, I've had my chances when I was young, but I guess I was to stupid or just lacked enough confidence in myself to take on the responsibility of another person. I didn't even think about that another person could add to my world instead of detract from it. Not until I was old enough to notice that the flash and glitter of the world of my youth was only window dressing. The world has changed considerably, since those times and those I knew as a youth, are either dead, because they remained in the world of their youth, or had grown past me and had made preparations for a better life I was too blind to see. I guess it is my experiences with myself that drives me to take the viewpoint I have about Governments roll in our lives. I know personally how it effected me, when I didn't take responsibility for myself. It lead to having nothing and living my life, hand to mouth and being dependent on the good graces of those who have made it in life. Though I hold a job and pay my way, I have nothing of substance to show for working my whole life, not even a car.

I have recently been looking, but All that I have found are those like myself that have sloughed off their lives and now just look for someone to cling to so they can continue being the persons they always have been. I dislike what I've done with my life and refuse to take on take on a mirror of myself. I think in all relationships each person need to reduce the baggage they bring into it and repair their situation enough to have something to bring to the table. If not then I will be a drain on the one that will have me.

As far as traits go, I think honesty, trust and loyalty is the key for the starting of a relationship. I think without it, there is no relationship. I thank True love comes with the finding of those traits that you admire in others along with the individual quirks and individual styles that bring the joy into your life that has never been there before.

To me I need someone to stimulate my mind as well as my soul, but not enough that the relationship isn't too one sided. I need a partner, not a teacher. I want someone to experience life with, to dance and sing together, to frolic in the sand, to observe the beauty in this world that I've forgotten in the hustle and bustle of this pressure cooker we call life.
http://www.greatdebateforum.com/images/styles/blackyellow/buttons/quote.gif (broken link)

 
Old 04-20-2011, 10:45 PM
 
5,523 posts, read 4,193,562 times
Reputation: 8321
Are you getting paid to post new compelling threads??

Now that I am older: a great sense of humor is essential
 
Old 04-21-2011, 12:45 AM
 
24,498 posts, read 14,127,595 times
Reputation: 24801
What do you look for in a significant other?

A pulse.
 
Old 04-21-2011, 06:36 AM
 
80 posts, read 48,042 times
Reputation: 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
What do you look for in a significant other?

A pulse.
Dang

Not at all picy are you. He, He,
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Texas
28,106 posts, read 22,881,067 times
Reputation: 33579
Loyalty, trust, compassion, intelligence, good boobs.
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:12 AM
 
1,646 posts, read 1,240,745 times
Reputation: 853
Money
Money
Money

Advanced age

a Willingness to change his will.

A doctor's note saying he has only 6 months to live TOPS
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:12 AM
 
24,498 posts, read 14,127,595 times
Reputation: 24801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonbane View Post
Dang

Not at all picy are you. He, He,
It just came from a previous post to the same topic.
Ladies: What's the BEST kind of MAN?
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:33 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 18,205,787 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonbane View Post
What do you look for in a significant other and do you have those traits yourself, or do you need them to offset a lack of them in your own character.
I would look for the following in this order:

1. Attractiveness - I have to find her physically attractive or she would never be considered "relationship material". This is extremely important because I could never kiss or be intimate with someone I didnt find physically attractive in some way, shape or form.

2. Similar lifestyle - This is another extremely important trait. I lead a very active and health conscious lifestyle so she would absolutely have to have this in common with me. This means she's a non smoker, into fitness, likes to play sports (tennis, running, martial arts, etc.), loves yoga, earthy, etc.

3. Character - This means she should be as ethical and virtuous as I am. Or at least have some working knowledge of virtue. Honesty, integrity, doing whats right, etc. is important.

What I do not need is someone who shares my political beliefs or even religious beliefs. This is not necessarily required for a long term successful relationship especially if we both a strong in #3 listed above.

I think its a great sign of accepting weakness in mediocrity in yourself if you go out and try to find someone who has qualities or traits that I lack or to offset character traits that I do not have. I believe in working on, refining and polishing my own character and not "hoping" to find someone who has what I lack. If there is something I am missing, or need to work on, I fix it myself and not look for that in another person. That to me is what the small minded person does.
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:40 AM
 
14,777 posts, read 7,905,438 times
Reputation: 11607
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
Are you getting paid to post new compelling threads??

Now that I am older: a great sense of humor is essential
He copied it from another bulletin board. Not sure why?

OH, and I do tend to look for someone (or at least be attracted to) personalities that are opposite me.
Someone with a similar personality to myself could easily drive me crazy...lol. I need someone who is grounded, stable and in control.

Last edited by *Sixy*; 04-21-2011 at 08:51 AM..
 
Old 04-21-2011, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
15,959 posts, read 8,260,649 times
Reputation: 15854
A nice butt.

Hahaha! All I've ever looked for in a person was someone who was smart that could make me laugh. My husband is definitely not the person I thought I'd end up with. In some way - we are opposites. I didn't look for someone with offsetting traits from me - I just happened to fall in love with him. I think you can think about all the qualities you are looking for in a significant other - but at the end of the day, you are going to fall in love with who you fall in love with - and it might not be the type of person you thought it would be!
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