He asked me to pay for the date?? (casual, years, approach)
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I prefer to just go dutch, after all, the way things are now, a man thinks a woman is his "ho" after he buys her a few dinners. Sorry, that is not the type of woman I am. If I were to date now, I would rather just pay for my own food and drinks, because I feel like men expect booty after spending...
I had a friend, who went to Europe with a man, he paid for everything, and gave her spending money, then, she was outraged that he expected her to sleep with him. She said she thought that they were going as "friends"?!
jasper12 - I understand your logic behind this, but the reality is, if a man is dating you he will want sex even when you pay your own way. It doesn't matter either way. So put your handbag away, hon, it is not an effective deterrent against being propositioned. LOL
Paying your own way may send a non-verbal signal to a man that you will not be receptive to his advances, and that you consider him only a "friend" but that doesn't mean he won't still try. And even if he did pay for all the dates, what a man expects and hopes for and what you are willing to offer him are two very different things.
Last edited by boodhabunny; 04-23-2011 at 01:27 PM..
It's sad that your self image is so low that if a woman accepts your invitation to have dinner with you, you are convinced it's a "business transaction" that she agrees to only because she wants to "shovel her face with pricey liquors and fine dining".
Is that is all you have to offer a woman?
You don't get it because I think you don't want to get it.
As I have often stated, I have never minded taking people out for dinner or entertainment and I do it all the time. I have always been a very generous person to those that don't wish to take advantage of that and contribute to the relationship somehow.
What I look for in relationships is reciprocity and some mutual fairness.
What I was specifically mentioning was women that were dinner whores, of whom I have run into a fair number of. These are women that have a sense of entitlement that because they are women that men should pay for them all the time.
You can't speak for a man. Let a man speak for himself!
These women don't want to let men do that, because they need to keep the gravy train rolling and I have found women will use all sorts of belittling and emotional manipulation to secure what they want with as little work as possible. If they can shame men into continuing to pay up, why not?
I really don't care if they are a student or whatever. Women have plenty of access to their own cash or jobs if they want it and there is no need for men to pay for their entertainment.
Thanks for explaining. Considering how expensive and time consuming it is for a woman to get ready for a nice evening of fine dining and fancy liquor (hair, clothes, make-up, waxing, perfume, etc.) I don't think it's an effective method to get a free meal. Not factoring in her time, a "dinner *****'s" bottom line is going to be in the red.
I don't personally know any women who view dating as a method to get free meals. The overhead is too high. Good lipstick is simply too expensive to make "dinner whoring" a worthwhile enterprise.
Maybe, just maybe, they dated you because they liked you and hoped that you liked them too.
You are right. Atleast you will be getting sex. I honestly do not understand men sometimes
Let me tell you something, last night I have to made up an imaginary boyfriend so this guy would stop texting me. So I do understand where you are coming from.
And I am not a 10 or 12. I do not feel even pretty.
You could just say you're not interested... and say the same when people offer to buy you coffee/dinner. You know damn well you have no interest in these people but you use them for a free meal. Sounds like the actions of a sociopath if you ask me. You claim you don't want to come across as a "*****" by rejecting 100% of their askings out to coffee but what you're doing instead is far more awful a thing by leading them on.
You're right in that you shouldn't feel the need to pay for any dates that you only agreed to go on (with people you're not interested in). As long as you don't give a **** about the feelings of other human beings, that is.
You could just say you're not interested... and say the same when people offer to buy you coffee/dinner. You know damn well you have no interest in these people but you use them for a free meal. Sounds like the work of a sociopath if you ask me. You claim you don't want to come across as a "*****" by rejecting 100% of their askings out to coffee but what you're doing instead is far more awful a thing by leading them on.
You're right in that you shouldn't feel the need to pay for any dates that you only agreed to go on (with people you're not interested in). As long as you don't give a **** about the feelings of other human beings, that is.
Llewelyn, please, can you clarify what you mean? Your post perplexes me. I think what you are saying is that only people who are looking for a long-term, committed relationships should date. Is that what you mean? Or do you feel that she should provide sex although she has no long term interest in them? What exactly do you mean when you say she has "no interest" in her dates?
Llewelyn, please, can you clarify what you mean? Your post perplexes me. I think what you are saying is that only people who are looking for a long-term, committed relationships should date. Is that what you mean? Or do you feel that she should provide sex although she has no long term interest in them? What exactly do you mean when you say she has "no interest" in her dates?
From her earlier posts:
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolVa1977
There is a lack of concern as I personally do not want any type of relationship with any of these men. Nor do I have sex with them (ewww). So if they want to see me , oh well. If not, I never ask a man out.
If I am really interested in a man, yes eventually I would contribute. But if I am not...then no.
No relationships of any kind, basically. Just free food. She's totally in the legal clear to say yes, but imo it's very immoral to say yes to their offers. Better to say no, and not give false hope while simultaneously emptying their wallet. All for her benefit, of course.
I treatea female friend to dinner because I felt bad that she said she had no food so we went out. And after we finished eating she said..........Do i get desert too?
I was supposed to make that offer. So she never got that offer from me again.
No relationships of any kind, basically. Just free food. She's totally in the legal clear to say yes, but imo it's very immoral to say yes to their offers. Better to say no, and not give false hope while simultaneously emptying their wallet. All for her benefit, of course.
Ah, I see now. Thank you. You must keep in mind that people date for all sorts of reasons. Some men date simply to enjoy a woman's company over dinner, or to have arm candy for an event, they are not always looking for a committed relationship or even for sex. Especially older men whose sexual appetite/function isn't what it used to be... they just want to enjoy a lovely woman's company for an evening and perhaps they find Carol a pleasure to be around.
Misleading someone is wrong, but I didn't jump to that conclusion from her post.
But you are right, I did not grew up being careful with money. I have never been like in a situation that I have to count pennies. Only once I was short on money and I was not able to invite people.
And likely that will catch up to you, possibly in some unexpected way. Maybe not but I've seen enough in life that what goes around comes around.
My own personal belief is seeking balance in all things and women that are not careful with their own money, sure are not going to be with mine and I don't want to be 60 years old in huge debt or sleeping in a van down by the river.
And women that are not careful with money either because daddy was always suckered into giving them cash or men always paid for them, never end up appreciating the value of a dollar and what it takes to earn that dollar.
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