He asked me to pay for the date?? (profiles, dating, how to)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And the rebuttal is that since women rarely ask men out, men are still stuck with the bill and the debate continues...
That's right. It goes on and on. Then someone will come and say "But I have asked a guy out before!" which later on happens to be her very own husband, live-in boyfriend, or long time date, and only asked him out on his birthday or something.
"Whoever asks pay"? How about "Whoever gets proposed and an engagement ring, takes care of cooking and cleaning"?
Imagine if there were rules too about how women should be the ones who take care of cooking and cleaning without complaining the same way all these women enforce these rules about how men should ask, pay, initiate, and so on.
I am lucky to be in a relationship where gender entitlements and rules are thrown out the window. We are just nice to each other regardless of gender and being nice to each other means BOTH taking care of expenses, BOTH romancing each other, BOTH taking initiative, BOTH doing chores, etc. No record keeping, nothing. It just comes out naturally. Different culture or whatever it is, it works fine so far.
I personally do not like cheap men. I am very successfully financially and tend to date men that are as well. And most men pay. And I do not sleep with any of them
So I recently got a message from this guy on OkCupid. All he said was, "Hey, I'm (insert name here)." I look at his profile- he's 36, no children, and lists his income as 60-70K (which isn't a lot where we're from, but I was doing ok financially when I used to make that much.) Anyway, in his "You should message me if" section, he writes "if you are not selfish and don't mind paying when your (sic) out on dates too." Certainly, he has the right to put that in his profile if it's important to him, but I didn't think it was exactly a positive reflection on him. I have offered and followed through with contributing or paying for the entire date many times, but I thought his statement basically made him sound cheap/broke and like he thinks that all women are golddiggers. Sorry to say, but I can more easily understand this sentiment among younger guys in their 20s who maybe aren't established in their careers, but at 36, you should have your stuff together and shouldn't be trembling at the thought of paying for a date. lol That's just my opinion. Needless to say, I didn't write this guy back.
Won't respond to the OP as I figure it's a bit too late!
I agree with the first poster (and probably many others) who said whoever invites the other out pays for the date. This is true between on dates as well as between friends and family, 100% of the time.
If I were single and dating someone, and then running low on cash, I'd simply invite her over to watch movies at home or go for a walk in the park. So long as I paid for the first couple dates to be actual dates at a restaurant or wherever, most women wouldn't think I was a cheapskate so long as I went back and forth between "expensive" dates and cheap ones (variety's a good idea, at any rate). And if one did think I was cheap at this point, she can stop dating me and do us both a favor
Depending on how often you go out, it should be doable. Budget your money. You don't have to have a lot of it to do that.
Maybe he was sick of you expecting that he'd cover the tab?
Or was it he who always insisted on paying?
If he actively insisted on paying, then well....maybe it's just a financial issue.
I wonder how long a woman should wait until the guy she lives with starts doing house chores. Would it also be rude if she finally one day put her foot down and asked him to do his part as well?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
So I recently got a message from this guy on OkCupid. All he said was, "Hey, I'm (insert name here)." I look at his profile- he's 36, no children, and lists his income as 60-70K (which isn't a lot where we're from, but I was doing ok financially when I used to make that much.) Anyway, in his "You should message me if" section, he writes "if you are not selfish and don't mind paying when your (sic) out on dates too." Certainly, he has the right to put that in his profile if it's important to him, but I didn't think it was exactly a positive reflection on him.
Somewhat comparable to women who put in their profiles “I am not easy, ok?...I like the finer things in life (be ready to spend your cash on me)…” or things like that, correct?
Quote:
Needless to say, I didn't write this guy back.
I guess both left fine. You didn’t go out with a guy who isn’t willing to spend money on you and he didn’t go out with a girl who expects him to take care of expenses for months or years. Better to find out early.
Geography Freak,
I guess we won’t hear you complaining when your man doesn’t do the dishes or picks up after eating, right? Woman up and don’t complain when that time comes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
That's right. It goes on and on . Then someone will come and say "But I have asked a guy out before!" which later on happens to be her very own husband, live-in boyfriend, or long time date, and only asked him out on his birthday or something.
"Whoever asks pay"? How about "Whoever gets proposed and an engagement ring, takes care of cooking and cleaning"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
I'm all for it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.