people don't change, do they? (married, men, cheated, attracted)

[MontanaGuy]

I don't think I've ever known an individual personally who really changed in any significant way. In fact I think that the person described in the OP would be likely to follow the same path and just have their negative behavior get worse instead of better. All of us have our weaknesses and from my experience people just seem to become set in their ways as they get older. I'm not saying it can't happen but my feeling is that our patterns of behavior and ways of thinking are so strongly imprinted in our brains that it's not something that you can change like you change your clothes.

[LS Jaun]

No money!
No Job!
No car!
looks going!
Drinks beer all day!
Smokes weed!
Has mulitple woman to take car of him.

The man is a genius! I have to work all day, have multiple cars, always pay for everything when I go out, don't get to drink all day, don't smoke weed!
Dam that guy! I want his gig!

What's wrong with you? You said you were superficial when it comes to looks. I wouldn't think that someone who considers themself to be superficial to be unattractive or have low self esteem, are either of these the case?

Originally Posted by OngletNYC

Yes. And slacker-users in particular need a firm hand when it comes to a break up. If they see an opening to leech for a mere one more day, they will take it. That is how a guy like this survives, using people is his full time job. And with any job, people have tobe fired to get them to leave.

Perfect synopsis!

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I don't think I've ever known an individual personally who really changed in any significant way. In fact I think that the person described in the OP would be likely to follow the same path and just have their negative behavior get worse instead of better. All of us have our weaknesses and from my experience people just seem to become set in their ways as they get older. I'm not saying it can't happen but my feeling is that our patterns of behavior and ways of thinking are so strongly imprinted in our brains that it's not something that you can change like you change your clothes.

I mostly agree but...people DO change, but not as often as we hope. Folks like the OP's guy, changing involves revamping his whole life in order to start over. So even if he does change, the OP will end up getting dumped anyway.

[messedup]

I'm not unattractive and I do take good care of myself. But I'm not full of myself about my looks the way he is. People have been treating him special all his life because he's good looking. I was flattered at first because he made such an effort of trying to win me over. When he did, all the masks came off and I was unprepared to deal with what was in front of me. I've had bad boyfriends, but they all had the decency to at least be contrite and go away quietly when they'd gone too far with their misdeeds.

This one is king of turning things around so that you feel that you're at fault for what he did. At the very least, I can say that I'm not susceptible to that guilt trip anymore. It's also been a long time since I stepped in and tried to "make things better" for him. Hence the fact that he's using other women for these purposes.

I just don't want to be a part of the circus anymore.

[max's mama]

Originally Posted by messedup

I'm not unattractive and I do take good care of myself. But I'm not full of myself about my looks the way he is. People have been treating him special all his life because he's good looking. I was flattered at first because he made such an effort of trying to win me over. When he did, all the masks came off and I was unprepared to deal with what was in front of me. I've had bad boyfriends, but they all had the decency to at least be contrite and go away quietly when they'd gone too far with their misdeeds.

This one is king of turning things around so that you feel that you're at fault for what he did. At the very least, I can say that I'm not susceptible to that guilt trip anymore. It's also been a long time since I stepped in and tried to "make things better" for him. Hence the fact that he's using other women for these purposes.

I just don't want to be a part of the circus anymore.

Then don't be. It's your hands to end it.

[LS Jaun]

Originally Posted by max's mama

Then don't be. It's your hands to end it.

Yup! Run, Run and Run!

[Pivot Point]

Originally Posted by messedup

1) I was flattered at first because he made such an effort of trying to win me over. When he did, all the masks came off and I was unprepared to deal with what was in front of me.


2) This one is king of turning things around so that you feel that you're at fault for what he did.


3) It's also been a long time since I stepped in and tried to "make things better" for him. Hence the fact that he's using other women for these purposes.

Three examples of typical narcissistic behavior.

[messedup]

Originally Posted by LS Jaun

Yup! Run, Run and Run!

I feel like Forrest Gump.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by messedup

I feel like Forrest Gump.

Well ditch "Forrest Chump" and get a new box of chocolates.

[max's mama]

Yes, OP, time to get off this ride!