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Old 04-27-2011, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 18,865,191 times
Reputation: 8655

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
Thanks for your offer but well sorry no Phil. I stay serious at all times and I try real hard to not take a thread off topic. But thanks anyway, fella.
The way I see it, sometimes going off-topic produces better results and more exacting insights than doggedly sticking to a single thought and beating it to death. It allows new perspectives and lightens the mood.

Of course, Mods probably wouldn't agree, but that's how I see it. It isn't as if the fate of the Free World hinges upon our words here...
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Earth
1,480 posts, read 4,371,212 times
Reputation: 1418
I learned how to deal with rejection from the man, Dimitri.


YouTube - Dimitri the stud
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:49 AM
 
2,648 posts, read 2,509,862 times
Reputation: 3442
Im with Phil. Its one thing to hyjack a thread to a different end and another to wander where ever it leads. To be honest life without humor would be a poor thing and coloring between the lines stifling.
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Old 04-27-2011, 11:30 AM
 
138 posts, read 188,402 times
Reputation: 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx View Post
I've been on dates with a few guys and when the time comes to reject them or tell them I feel there's no connection or compatability, they don't take it very well at all. Some have turned to insults, others have told me I didn't give them a chance to let them show their real selves, and others just won't accept it. I have always been honest with them so I don't think I deserve being insulted...I never lead people on, it's just simply that there's no chemistry and that's it. The latest one had me laughing quite a bit. He seemed normal, albeit maybe a bit strange and mysterious, but when I told him I couldn't continue seeing him and gave him my reason, he went on about how he was a highly successful and respectable person in "x" field and had several connections in that same field and that I missed out on a golden chance to be with a very wealthy person, etc. I had to laugh at that. Why can't people just accept defeat and humbly move on? What happened to having some self-respect?
You think women are any different? THe women I've dated tend to use more guilt trips. Why can't they just move on?

Like another person mentioned. It's human nature to want to hold on to people you are close with.
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Old 04-27-2011, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Anchorage, Ak
1,413 posts, read 2,617,071 times
Reputation: 1353
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx View Post
I've been on dates with a few guys and when the time comes to reject them or tell them I feel there's no connection or compatability, they don't take it very well at all. Some have turned to insults, others have told me I didn't give them a chance to let them show their real selves, and others just won't accept it. I have always been honest with them so I don't think I deserve being insulted...I never lead people on, it's just simply that there's no chemistry and that's it. The latest one had me laughing quite a bit. He seemed normal, albeit maybe a bit strange and mysterious, but when I told him I couldn't continue seeing him and gave him my reason, he went on about how he was a highly successful and respectable person in "x" field and had several connections in that same field and that I missed out on a golden chance to be with a very wealthy person, etc. I had to laugh at that. Why can't people just accept defeat and humbly move on? What happened to having some self-respect?
sounds like you sure know how to pick em
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Old 04-27-2011, 01:23 PM
 
1,041 posts, read 1,263,550 times
Reputation: 762
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx View Post
I've been on dates with a few guys and when the time comes to reject them or tell them I feel there's no connection or compatability, they don't take it very well at all. Some have turned to insults, others have told me I didn't give them a chance to let them show their real selves, and others just won't accept it. I have always been honest with them so I don't think I deserve being insulted...I never lead people on, it's just simply that there's no chemistry and that's it. The latest one had me laughing quite a bit. He seemed normal, albeit maybe a bit strange and mysterious, but when I told him I couldn't continue seeing him and gave him my reason, he went on about how he was a highly successful and respectable person in "x" field and had several connections in that same field and that I missed out on a golden chance to be with a very wealthy person, etc. I had to laugh at that. Why can't people just accept defeat and humbly move on? What happened to having some self-respect?
When I dated, I rarely had to deal with outright rejection because most women send obvious signals when they are not very interested. We men are the same way.

These guys shouldn't have to wait for you to spell it out to them, which most people won't do so at least you were honest instead of playing mind games.

When a woman didn't like me, I would simply make it easy on her by hastening our date and acting completly oblivious to it. Not only did I get to end the date on my own terms, but it avoided me a lot of awkward situations. Most people don't want to hurt others so they will try to BS their way out of a date.

Your choice of word is interesting though..."defeat". I never saw dating as a game. I didn't conquer or defeated anyone. It simply works out or doesn't.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Rochester, N.Y
2,725 posts, read 3,966,409 times
Reputation: 4650
Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
Why do good threads like these get taken off-topic? Isn't email a better way for personal bantering between a few guys?

Anyway, rejection hurts a man especially if he is only being rejected by the women he contacts say on dating sites and if he is being rejected for superficial qualities such as looks, lack of height, lack of hair, not being that "masculine" appearing etc.................

This man may know in his heart that he would make a far better mate than the usual men who women picks these days. This man may know that most marriages end in divorce or wind up unhappy these days and it's only because women keep picking the wrong men and overlooking the right men.

So how does a man like this take rejection?

How should he take rejection?

You kind of sound like your putting your own personal experiences against the topic.

The sentence you said, "it's only because women keep picking the wrong men and overlooking the right men."

From that I'll say, how do you know it's the wrong men and not the wrong women. Last time I knew it took two people to make a marriage work. You put it all on the man. It only works if the WOMEN picks the right man. Because after all, WOMEN can't be the reason it doesn't work out.

And your right, most marriages end in divorce because of both parties. Women cheat as well as men (maybe more) and women are equally at fault for the divorce rate. It is not a MAN problem, but a people problem.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:34 PM
 
946 posts, read 2,414,521 times
Reputation: 1073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio View Post
sounds like you sure know how to pick em
I'm telling you . I tend to give anyone a chance (as long as I'm attracted and they seem nice) but I guess I have to start being more picky.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:36 PM
 
946 posts, read 2,414,521 times
Reputation: 1073
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeLucasLongLostChin View Post
When I dated, I rarely had to deal with outright rejection because most women send obvious signals when they are not very interested. We men are the same way.

These guys shouldn't have to wait for you to spell it out to them, which most people won't do so at least you were honest instead of playing mind games.

When a woman didn't like me, I would simply make it easy on her by hastening our date and acting completly oblivious to it. Not only did I get to end the date on my own terms, but it avoided me a lot of awkward situations. Most people don't want to hurt others so they will try to BS their way out of a date.

Your choice of word is interesting though..."defeat". I never saw dating as a game. I didn't conquer or defeated anyone. It simply works out or doesn't.
"Defeat" is just a way of putting it, I don't really mean it in a literal sense.
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Old 04-27-2011, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,506,916 times
Reputation: 18346
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
The way I see it, sometimes going off-topic produces better results and more exacting insights than doggedly sticking to a single thought and beating it to death. It allows new perspectives and lightens the mood.

Of course, Mods probably wouldn't agree, but that's how I see it. It isn't as if the fate of the Free World hinges upon our words here...
I'd rep you again but you know the rules.
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