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Old 04-28-2011, 09:36 AM
 
1,041 posts, read 1,269,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Interstate 35 South View Post
I think a lot of guys are just too persistent in trying to "win over" a woman's interest despite those clues. I just back off if I'm not sensing a positive vibe. No one likes hearing the "well, you're a really great guy, but let's just be friends...." speech. I'm sure women don't really enjoy having to tell a guy that either, and I think the OP can attest to that.
I agree with this. And the sad part is that sometimes, these guys are often not that interested into the girl, but when they sense she's distant, their ego starts acting out and they really really push it.

I've seen countless friends of mine trying to 'win over' a girl with whom they had a date that didn't go so well and when sometimes they did manage to score, they quickly moved on.

I've also seen several women suddenly look very interested in me right after I decided to throw the towel, which whether I wanted to or not, probably showed in my body language. I guess they expected me to beg.

I'm really not into these little mind games and personally, I don't want to continue dating someone with an ego that dictates their behavior.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:26 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,281,498 times
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You have to have a thick skin if you want to survive the dating scene. Since men are generally expected to make the first move, they should also be ready to face rejection. It's no fun and it does sting, but ultimately you can't take it too personally. Treat it as a learning experience. Maybe you said something or did something wrong and that caused you to be rejected. If so, make a note of it and commit to doing better the next time. But don't dwell on things either. I see men (and women) do this every time they got shot down. Anytime I get rejected by someone, I don't obsess over why and I certainly don't resort to insulting her. People will reject for you all kinds of reasons, some that make no sense and might even seem unfair. But I've learned that it's not worth getting worked up over. If you have to twist someone's arm to get them to go out with you, that's a bad sign. I'm sure some women like to play hard to get and will turn you down in the hopes that you'll ask them out again. I don't play along. Games are for kids, not adults. You know the saying. There are plenty of fish in the sea. In the end, just ask yourself will you be worse off if she rejects you. You'll still be the same person. What makes you good will still be there, even if someone else didn't see it. This is the attitude I take with me whenever I go to a job interview and it works in dating as well.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:18 AM
 
372 posts, read 526,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeLucasLongLostChin View Post
I agree with this. And the sad part is that sometimes, these guys are often not that interested into the girl, but when they sense she's distant, their ego starts acting out and they really really push it.

I've seen countless friends of mine trying to 'win over' a girl with whom they had a date that didn't go so well and when sometimes they did manage to score, they quickly moved on.

I've also seen several women suddenly look very interested in me right after I decided to throw the towel, which whether I wanted to or not, probably showed in my body language. I guess they expected me to beg.

I'm really not into these little mind games and personally, I don't want to continue dating someone with an ego that dictates their behavior.
I saw a woman on my dating/mating site last night. I was totally unattracted to her in the physical sense but what she wrote resonated so well that I had to write to her to tell her I liked what she wrote and I gave her my number.............This girl? She was no beauty. I think that 100 out of 100 men would pass her up and myself? I'm having hard results on this dating site but I'm an attractive man in person. I thought no problem with this woman, she'd be interested.

Today? She just looks at my picture and I guess my profile and ignores me.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:33 AM
 
1,041 posts, read 1,269,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
Today? She just looks at my picture and I guess my profile and ignores me.
Maybe she's used to guys messaging her for a quickie and doesn't believe you're genuine. Not so attractive girls get a lot of that on dating sites.

I have a female friend who's not very attractive, but she says she gets tons of requests from very good looking men who assume she'll drop on her knees and give them a blowjob.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,371,234 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
I saw a woman on my dating/mating site last night. I was totally unattracted to her in the physical sense but what she wrote resonated so well that I had to write to her to tell her I liked what she wrote and I gave her my number.............This girl? She was no beauty. I think that 100 out of 100 men would pass her up and myself? I'm having hard results on this dating site but I'm an attractive man in person. I thought no problem with this woman, she'd be interested.

Today? She just looks at my picture and I guess my profile and ignores me.
Sounds like she thought of you what you thought of her. Fair enough.
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:41 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,281,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
I saw a woman on my dating/mating site last night. I was totally unattracted to her in the physical sense but what she wrote resonated so well that I had to write to her to tell her I liked what she wrote and I gave her my number.............This girl? She was no beauty. I think that 100 out of 100 men would pass her up and myself? I'm having hard results on this dating site but I'm an attractive man in person. I thought no problem with this woman, she'd be interested.

Today? She just looks at my picture and I guess my profile and ignores me.
Why do you think she would be interested in you? Because you're attractive and she's not? I love how some men just assume that if a woman isn't much to look at that she'll be so incredibly flattered that a good-looking guy showed her some attention, she'll immediately want to talk to him.
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:10 PM
 
372 posts, read 526,453 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeLucasLongLostChin View Post
Maybe she's used to guys messaging her for a quickie and doesn't believe you're genuine. Not so attractive girls get a lot of that on dating sites.

I have a female friend who's not very attractive, but she says she gets tons of requests from very good looking men who assume she'll drop on her knees and give them a blowjob.
It's all in HOW you answer her. If you reply with respect to her and she still thinks you want a mid day thrill then she's too suspicious of men to be doing on-line dating. Anyway she answered me and gave me her e-mail. I also got her last name, address, phone number.
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:11 PM
 
372 posts, read 526,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Sounds like she thought of you what you thought of her. Fair enough.
No. I gave her a chance so she gave me a chance.

Fair enough.
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:14 PM
 
372 posts, read 526,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
Why do you think she would be interested in you? Because you're attractive and she's not? I love how some men just assume that if a woman isn't much to look at that she'll be so incredibly flattered that a good-looking guy showed her some attention, she'll immediately want to talk to him.
I'm not THAT attractive. I'm an average looking guy who gets treated like he were an undesirable by "average" looking NY women. If I were really attractive then I wouldn't need a singles/dating/mating site, right?
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:17 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,860,168 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
I just go into clam up mode and I silently walk away without looking back. I realize at the moment of rejection that she obviously wasn't what I thought she was and in weeks or months to come, I see her as the petty, foolish, superficial person that she is rather than the "dream come true", intelligent, sensitive, mature woman I thought she was.
Ah yes, the Sour grapes method of life.

You should realize that the gal that rejects you could be someones "dream come true", intelligent, sensitive, mature woman", just not yours. Reading through several of your comments here, I am wondering if you are a all or nothing individual? Many folks are.
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