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Old 04-29-2011, 02:09 AM
 
372 posts, read 526,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
This is what I mean. Your view point of the gal that rejects you is entirely negative. You do not see it as, "oh well I guess that did not work out, better luck next time". I would be careful of this thinking pattern since it could set you up for a girl that accepts you that in the end might be your worse nightmare.

Women are just people. Some good, some evil, the majority falling in between those extremes.
Maybe its my rejectionphobia speaking but as I see it now, just about any woman outside of a con artist or a drug dealer being married to me, is better by far than being alone and being rejected.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:42 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,861,610 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaltHowe View Post
Maybe its my rejectionphobia speaking but as I see it now, just about any woman outside of a con artist or a drug dealer being married to me, is better by far than being alone and being rejected.
The strange thing about that feeling is women are more likely to reject you when you are afraid of being rejected. Seems like Catch 22. Could be the human pecking order syndrome at work.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 16,026,589 times
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Yes I have been rejected before. I was in 2nd grade and she was an older woman-4th grade! She broke my heart! She is on this forum. You little heartbreaker! Yea you know I'm talking about you!
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Midwest
50 posts, read 131,060 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
The strange thing about that feeling is women are more likely to reject you when you are afraid of being rejected. Seems like Catch 22. Could be the human pecking order syndrome at work.
It's ironic, isn't it? Being afraid of rejection is often associated with a lack of confidence, and women never respond well to a lack of confidence.

Personally, it hasn't hurt my self-worth in the past when I've been rejected after going out with a girl a few times. I knew the girl just wasn't feeling the whole physical, mental, and emotional combination with me, and that's just not something that can be controlled. I know it doesn't make me less of a candidate for other women. It just means we weren't right for each other.

Now let's shift gears to another situation involving rejection. Take the following hypothetical situation - you see an attractive girl at the store, coffee shop, or somewhere in public without a huge rock on her finger (which is rare in my area, by the way), and you think "gosh I'd like to meet her". What do I do in that situation? Nothing. I move on. Let me explain why.

I've heard women constantly say they're creeped out a lot by guys who approach them, so they're very guarded. I've heard this so much that I get the feeling that even if you look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, you're going to get rejected.

In this situation, the part of the rejection I don't like is the awkwardness of it. It's uncomfortable. I'm a decent guy who dresses well and has his #$& together, but I'm just not going to risk making someone uncomfortable in public just because she's been approached one too many times by less than desirable guys in the past. I'm not a pervert or anutcase, but it would be uncomfortable for me to be looked at like one just because I tried to initiate a small friendly conversation. So for this reason, I don't approach women in public that I don't know. I believe it's a recipe for awkward rejection, plain and simple.
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:39 AM
 
2,179 posts, read 2,824,870 times
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I've had my heart broken by rejection. But I was always too proud to let her see me bleed.
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:07 AM
 
372 posts, read 526,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
The strange thing about that feeling is women are more likely to reject you when you are afraid of being rejected. Seems like Catch 22. Could be the human pecking order syndrome at work.
These women are the same women who always ask to meet HONEST men?
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:25 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,861,610 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Interstate 35 South View Post
...
Now let's shift gears to another situation involving rejection. Take the following hypothetical situation - you see an attractive girl at the store, coffee shop, or somewhere in public without a huge rock on her finger (which is rare in my area, by the way), and you think "gosh I'd like to meet her". What do I do in that situation? Nothing. I move on. Let me explain why.

I've heard women constantly say they're creeped out a lot by guys who approach them, so they're very guarded. I've heard this so much that I get the feeling that even if you look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, you're going to get rejected.

In this situation, the part of the rejection I don't like is the awkwardness of it. It's uncomfortable. I'm a decent guy who dresses well and has his #$& together, but I'm just not going to risk making someone uncomfortable in public just because she's been approached one too many times by less than desirable guys in the past. I'm not a pervert or anutcase, but it would be uncomfortable for me to be looked at like one just because I tried to initiate a small friendly conversation. So for this reason, I don't approach women in public that I don't know. I believe it's a recipe for awkward rejection, plain and simple.
In the world of sales that is what is referred to as a "cold call" and it takes a certain personality to pull it off successfully. It is always easier to make the sale when there is some form of normal contact going on. That is why, for those folks not thrown together in school, church, or work activities, they will go to the effort of things like online dating and formal mixers.

People are naturally wary of strangers approaching them so your actions are completely reasonable.
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:47 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
39,496 posts, read 14,536,618 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Yes I have been rejected before. I was in 2nd grade and she was an older woman-4th grade! She broke my heart! She is on this forum. You little heartbreaker! Yea you know I'm talking about you!
Ah, if only we could recapture those Riley School days....... But alas - that year I was in the portable building in Mr. Schoon's class and you were in the brick building.
'Twas fate kept us apart, my darling!

Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-29-2011 at 12:59 PM..
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 16,026,589 times
Reputation: 10025
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJ8 View Post
Ah, if only we could recapture those Riley School days....... But alas - that year I was in the portable building in Mr. Schoon's class and you were in the brick building.
'Twas fate kept us apart, my darling!
Horse hockey! You just had a thing for older men!!
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:12 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
39,496 posts, read 14,536,618 times
Reputation: 99915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Horse hockey! You just had a thing for older men!!
Truth be told, with a choice between ages 8 and 10, I just had to go for the mature 10-year-old. I was trying to let you down gently with that last post.
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