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Old 05-05-2011, 11:27 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,927,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Both..Ive had female friends i told from the start that a certain guy was a piece of garbage but they let lust get in the way because the guy was good looking and sucessful and acted stunned that she eventually got burned..
So, are you in a satisfying relationship ATM? I'm curious how accurate your viewpoints on male-female interactions really are and how well they work for you.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:30 AM
 
5,313 posts, read 6,088,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
So, are you in a satisfying relationship ATM? I'm curious how accurate your viewpoints on male-female interactions really are and how well they work for you.
Im not in a relationship because im shy and afraid to approach women and women just arent attracted to me..has nothing to do with my views..
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
lol i love when people act like women have some enlightened sense of judging peoples character that Men dont and can sense any little thing wheter it be lack of confidence negative thoughts etc if that were the case youd never have posts like you do here of women being burned by guys they thought were good men but werent..

I know plenty of good looking misognyists who do fine with women..I guess womens instincts arent always great..
This has nothing do with women's instincts. When a guy repeatedly talks about how women reject him because he's not tall, not good looking, or doesn't make enough money, it sends the message that he's got a chip on his shoulder. Rejection is just part of dating. People will reject you for all kinds of reasons, many of which may seem incredibly unfair and might not even make sense. The bottom line that you just need to accept it and move on, not dwell on it or use it to show awful you think women are.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:40 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,927,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Im not in a relationship because im shy and afraid to approach women and women just arent attracted to me..has nothing to do with my views..
But it does, or at least there's a strong possibility that it does. You already have in place tons of judgments about (against?) women. That in itself is helping keep you "shy"...you just can't trust women so they're a double-threat as opposed to, say, the discomfort of being shy and meeting just a new friend or something. So you're missing opportunities through your views just for that logistical factor alone: deep down you don't want to approach.

You have, without having a deep relationship, pre-formed your own opinions on what women think (I'm basing this on views you've expressed here -- I'm not guessing or making a generalization, I'm just reading some of what you've written), what makes us tick, what relationships are like...and those views are pretty cynical...and yes...it's very likely prospective dates can sense it, even those who might have approached you, and trust me, shyness can be really cute in a guy.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:46 AM
 
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I feel like I keep repeating myself...but here goes. When a man does not like or trust women, then, he should not be suprised to find himself alone. Truly liking women is much more important than confidence....if I date a guy and all he can do is talk about how all women in the past have hurt him or been mean to him, then, there will be no second date. All women are not the same, anymore than all men are the same. Some guys should not get on this forum because they are so bitter and negative that no one can even tease them or have a discussion with them. If you really want a relationship with a woman, work on your attitude.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:46 AM
 
5,313 posts, read 6,088,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
But it does, or at least there's a strong possibility that it does. You already have in place tons of judgments about (against?) women. That in itself is helping keep you "shy"...you just can't trust women so they're a double-threat as opposed to, say, the discomfort of being shy and meeting just a new friend or something. So you're missing opportunities through your views just for that logistical factor alone: deep down you don't want to approach.

You have, without having a deep relationship, pre-formed your own opinions on what women think (I'm basing this on views you've expressed here -- I'm not guessing or making a generalization, I'm just reading some of what you've written), what makes us tick, what relationships are like...and those views are pretty cynical...and yes...it's very likely prospective dates can sense it, even those who might have approached you, and trust me, shyness can be really cute in a guy.
Im not saying my views help at all but women for the most part are not attracted to me views or not..

My cynical views were shaped from no sucess with women..kind of hard to be blindly optimistic when youve had no luck in a certain area in 30 years of life..
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:48 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,927,258 times
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Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I feel like I keep repeating myself...but here goes. When a man does not like or trust women, then, he should not be suprised to find himself alone. Truly liking women is much more important than confidence....
^^THIS. Take note, guys!
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:49 AM
 
5,313 posts, read 6,088,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
I feel like I keep repeating myself...but here goes. When a man does not like or trust women, then, he should not be suprised to find himself alone. Truly liking women is much more important than confidence....if I date a guy and all he can do is talk about how all women in the past have hurt him or been mean to him, then, there will be no second date. All women are not the same, anymore than all men are the same. Some guys should not get on this forum because they are so bitter and negative that no one can even tease them or have a discussion with them. If you really want a relationship with a woman, work on your attitude.
Ask any women who knows me and ill bet its mostly positive things they have to say about me..me venting on a forum like we all do to an extent is not why i cant get women..its just a place to let out frustration at times at lack of sucess..
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:54 AM
 
4,721 posts, read 5,301,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Ask any women who knows me and ill bet its mostly positive things they have to say about me..me venting on a forum like we all do to an extent is not why i cant get women..its just a place to let out frustration at times at lack of sucess..
Good. I am glad, but my post was not really directed at you. There are many posters who are extremely negative about women. You, on the other hand, just seem to be trying to figure us out. Remember we are just people like you, and many of us are shy too. Be yourself and let women get to know you.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:58 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,617,653 times
Reputation: 7711
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Im not saying my views help at all but women for the most part are not attracted to me views or not..

My cynical views were shaped from no sucess with women..kind of hard to be blindly optimistic when youve had no luck in a certain area in 30 years of life..
No one is saying if you have to be blindly optimistic. But how does turning into a total cynic help? If I were unemployed and every company I applied to rejected me, I would certainly start to lose hope. But at the same time, I would look at what I'm doing wrong and see what I could do differently. What I wouldn't do is start badmouthing employers for not recognizing what a great candidate I am. How does that make me better off? Does it get me any closer to my goal? No. Same with dating. You can feel frustrated that you're not having success, but to start generalizing about women and act like they all think the same will only make you worse off. And don't underestimate people's power of perception. Most of us send nonverbal cues about how we feel and what we think. We may think people aren't picking up on them, but they are.
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