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boy oh boy, smack me in the head, why don't you. When I was younger and much much less confident, I allowed a man to treat me this way....and he used me proper...guess that is why I'm so hard on girls who allow men to treat them like this.
I allowed him to treat me so disrespectfully and he was indeed a player.
He'd leave me and come back months later, and it was so freakin obvious, he was also very cheap and just wanted a place to stay....(he had moved out of state) What a huge dummy I was...and I can't tell you how angry I am at myself for allowing him to treat me like that...what was I thinking...
So, please, to the OP, love is not hurting someone like this to use them...and steer clear of players....you can't tell me you don't know this in your heart, I did, the moment I met him...and yet, I was so hungry to love and be loved, that I allowed him to....don't, please don't do this to yourself...you deserve so much more in life...don't date accounding to your confidence level...get yourself on the right track first and then date, and you'll find, your choices will be much more on the level that you deserve.
Men like this will not date intelligent confident women, b/c they themselves do not have much confidence, repect for themselves or are aware of the fact that they are hurting people's heart, they don't care, they are very self imposed and they can pick you out a mile away.
Confident responsible and Good men, would not ever treat a woman like this...
Boy, when I think back about this man, I go to myself....ewwwwww....
and you will to...but you've first got to do a lot of self examination, to find out why you are so hungry to be in a relationship you'll choose someone so low that would treat you with so little respect....or, like I asked myself, "what did I do in my lifetime that I felt I deserved so little?" But our choices, mind you are as we think and feel about ourselves...
and lady Jane, a man who respects you won't care if you don't tell him everything about your past....it's none of his business...and most men don't want to hear about past relationships...when you start to date a person, your personal life is yours, until you feel confident enough that you are able to trust him with your personal history, both good and bad. Reason being, these men will use your past to throw it up to you....and someone who loves doesn't do that...so, remember, don't date unless you are able to love yourself, otherwise, you will continue to choose people who are not capable of treating you with love and respect.
No, drop him completely out of your life and get on with yours, this relationship friends or not...will not go any further...
and this comment....
your making excuses for him in your head to excuse his behavior towards you, like grasping at straws....
a man does not care about a woman who allows him to treat her this way...you sound like a really great person...he is taking advantage of you and again, your inviting him to do so. No more contact...no reason, just let him alone and get on with your life...if he really wants you in a year or so, he may return, but make sure it's on your terms, not his...period.
A person like this is extremely self absorbed, and it would only get worse if you continue....
You deserve more...
But the OP clearly stated that SHE was the one initiating the sex and calls! Why does all the blame belong to the boyfriend?
But the OP clearly stated that SHE was the one initiating the sex and calls! Why does all the blame belong to the boyfriend?
Hey there you sweet man!!! it's been a long time!!!
No, dear, I blame both of them...what I'm saying is, she is allowing him to treat her that way...it's wrong of him to not end it proper, however, "she is enabling the treatment"...but it's also wrong of him to continue to have sex with her...
but they are both wrong...
It's like mama doing laundry for her grown up 50 year old son. I mean come on, if mama does it, he's going to continue taking advantage of her...not intentional, but he is...and then, he might even expect her to iron his shirts...yanno?
But the OP clearly stated that SHE was the one initiating the sex and calls! Why does all the blame belong to the boyfriend?
Well, he knows her weakness and exploits it all the while looking like a decent human, too. That's why cutting all contact is the best approach, but it's easier said than done.
Hey there you sweet man!!! it's been a long time!!!
No, dear, I blame both of them...what I'm saying is, she is allowing him to treat her that way...it's wrong of him to not end it proper, however, "she is enabling the treatment"...but it's also wrong of him to continue to have sex with her...
but they are both wrong...
It's like mama doing laundry for her grown up 50 year old son. I mean come on, if mama does it, he's going to continue taking advantage of her...not intentional, but he is...and then, he might even expect her to iron his shirts...yanno?
Forget about his zodiac sign. He told you exactly what he wants. No relationship, just sex with you while he's looking around for someone else. It's time to move on. No texting, no emailing, no sex, no nothing. It's hard because he's giving mixed signals but if he wants no relationship then no relationship you'll give him. You're giving him what he wants (no relationship)and let him know that. Tell him you're over him and he needs to move on. Don't be friends with him until you're over him and have moved on. Chances are you won't want to be friends with him either after awhile.
Awww guys... You all think he just wants one thing out of me.. its not! He hasnt used me in anyway.. he doesnt have sex with me then not talk to me after for a while. He doesnt ever just call me to 'meet' up. If I txt him to just meet up to talk even if its about us or feelings, he will meet me. He has been honest right from the start and he once even said that when we went to a hotel it made his head confused like mixed feelings because of he cuddling etc.....
And no im not making any excuses for him, its the truth!
Donie1 - I intiated the sex and now hes told me no because it makes things harder.. which he is right it does.
I agree im giving him what he wants, still having me around when he is free to do whatever he pleases.. I am letting him actually move on!
It just baffles me how he still talks to me like nothing has changed (the whole nickname and kisses, sends me pictures of his dog and himself etc.) and he tells me I would be the one for him IF and WHEN he wants a relationship....
If he just let me go and never contacted me again when he broke up with me things would of been so much easier and I wouldnt be in this position right now... :-(
But he still wants to keep me around and its not fair!
It is very hard to quit contact especially because im so fond of him.. I dont want him as a friend because of my feelings I want more. But then on the other hand part of me still wants him around whatever I am to him...
If he still cares and is serious about me then he will come back. But right now I havnt left, right?
You guys will be pleased to know I havnt contacted him and won't do. If he emails me then I probably will post on here!
You guys are great, thanks.
Awww guys... You all think he just wants one thing out of me.. its not! He hasnt used me in anyway.. he doesnt have sex with me then not talk to me after for a while. He doesnt ever just call me to 'meet' up. If I txt him to just meet up to talk even if its about us or feelings, he will meet me. He has been honest right from the start and he once even said that when we went to a hotel it made his head confused like mixed feelings because of he cuddling etc.....
And no im not making any excuses for him, its the truth!
Donie1 - I intiated the sex and now hes told me no because it makes things harder.. which he is right it does.
I agree im giving him what he wants, still having me around when he is free to do whatever he pleases.. I am letting him actually move on!
It just baffles me how he still talks to me like nothing has changed (the whole nickname and kisses, sends me pictures of his dog and himself etc.) and he tells me I would be the one for him IF and WHEN he wants a relationship....
If he just let me go and never contacted me again when he broke up with me things would of been so much easier and I wouldnt be in this position right now... :-(
But he still wants to keep me around and its not fair!
It is very hard to quit contact especially because im so fond of him.. I dont want him as a friend because of my feelings I want more. But then on the other hand part of me still wants him around whatever I am to him...
If he still cares and is serious about me then he will come back. But right now I havnt left, right?
You guys will be pleased to know I havnt contacted him and won't do. If he emails me then I probably will post on here!
You guys are great, thanks.
So glad to know you are not contacting him! Keep up the good work
Besides, it's really your only hope of getting him interested again, and even then it won't necessarily work.
But give absence a chance to make his heart grow fonder (if it doesn't then you've at least moved on and aren't sitting around wasting your life waiting on him).
So glad to know you are not contacting him! Keep up the good work
Besides, it's really your only hope of getting him interested again, and even then it won't necessarily work.
But give absence a chance to make his heart grow fonder (if it doesn't then you've at least moved on and aren't sitting around wasting your life waiting on him).
Thankyou.
I think sharing problems and having people listen and give advice helps people along. You guys have helped me along nicely!
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(if it doesn't then you've at least moved on and aren't sitting around wasting your life waiting on him).
