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Old 05-04-2011, 12:30 PM
 
11 posts, read 16,356 times
Reputation: 20
Default My aquarius bf broke up with me but any chance of reconcillation?

Hey guys im new here and would just like some advice really.
This might be a long post but its not a drag I promise and I appreciate any advice given :-)



Basically my ex broke up with me after nearly 2 years because he didnt want a relationship anymore, wanted to be single and do his own thing.

Now 4 months has passed and nothing has changed. We still talk, meet up, have sex, act like nothing has changed as he still calls me my nickname and leaves me kisses but he now doesnt think we should sleep with each other or meet up as much it will be hard. (Btw I have always initiated the sex and meeting up, not him) So I told him that I cant conintue to be friends with him as its too hard and I want more, its now my time to move on with my life.


So we spent our last night with each other and it was so nice, the next day when we left I got upset and he had tears in his eyes too and he told me to go as he didnt want me to see his was upset.
I was doing well and didnt contact him for about 4 days when he txtd me with 'its hard to not think of you and pretend you dont exist :-/' I didnt respond and thought I can do this and go NC...


A few days after this I got quite drunk and you guessed it I broke the No Contact and txtd him etc, I told him my feelings and what I thought and that I needed to know his feelings as I feel like just another one of his ex's he throws away and forgets. We met up and he told me he cares for me, still has feelings but just right now he doesnt want a relationship, doesnt want girls company and do his own thing. If he could he would just start seeing me again but he just doesnt want that commitment right now. He wants to continue being friends and email each other and meet up to take his dog for a walk etc.
I told him I wasnt sure as I was scared that 1. I wouldnt be able to move on properly and 2. he tells me he has met some1 so we cant talk anymore. That would be heartbreaking!


Anyway I sent him his txt after we met up: 'Thankyou for telling me what you did and your feelings. Honestly that is all I wanted. I really understand that you dont want a relationship but I just hope either you'd realise you cant not have me in your life and can't stand seeing me with another guy so you want me there or we start talking and seeing each other again and you decide you want me back. This is just how im feeling now :-/ and I just hope one day we re togther again as I feel you are the one for me xxxx'


He replied with this: 'Well if im honest, all that you hope for is true. Cuz like right now, if ever I wanted a relationship, I cant deny it would be you. You is pretty, adventurous, not a slag, decent job and I know you would be a good mother. And I also dont want you completely out of my life either :-) xxxx P.s would you miss my txts?'

Soo.. That was the nicest thing he has said to me in a while. He may be telling the truth but I just dont want him saying this just to keep me there so I dont go off with another guy and then him come back when he has had his fun.


I also dont know whether to keep with the emailing...


I want him back I really do but is no contacting him the best way to see if he actually starts missing me and realising he cant have the best of both worlds or continue as friends so we dont ever lose contact?

He really HASNT experienced he break up as I am still here and has had the benefits of a relationship.


Sorry this is so long. I do appreciate good advice and feedback, it will help alot!!!
Many Thanks
Becky.
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Old 05-04-2011, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by xbexy87x View Post
He wants to continue being friends and email each other and meet up to take his dog for a walk etc.
He wants to convert the relationship into FWB.
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Old 05-04-2011, 12:40 PM
 
12,564 posts, read 11,016,037 times
Reputation: 7167
my opinon, your enabling him to use you and setting your own self up to be hurt.

First of all, how can you be friends and be sleeping with someone. To me a friend is someone you are not sleeping with? Two totally different cultures...

He is playing you and telling you exactly what you want to hear and he knows you want to hear it, b/c your telling him your soul filled thoughts.

If you want this person in your life and he is your life long soul mate....ignore him completely and go and start a whole new life....don't answer his phone calls, texts, nothing....get on with your life, and then, if he decides he wants you back, and comes after you, YOU set rules...don't let him use you...or play you.

sorry, but this is simply my opinion....
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Old 05-04-2011, 12:49 PM
 
11 posts, read 16,356 times
Reputation: 20
We actually stopped sleeping with each other. He stopped it because he said it makes things harder so we shouldnt continue it...

I understand with what you are saying...

So you guys think I shouldnt remain his friend?? Even if it were just an email.

For the record he isnt friends with his other exs and never slept with them or anything after they broke up. That was just it with them. Different with me though..
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Old 05-04-2011, 12:53 PM
 
12,564 posts, read 11,016,037 times
Reputation: 7167
Quote:
Originally Posted by xbexy87x View Post
We actually stopped sleeping with each other. He stopped it because he said it makes things harder so we shouldnt continue it...

I understand with what you are saying...

So you guys think I shouldnt remain his friend?? Even if it were just an email.

For the record he isnt friends with his other exs and never slept with them or anything after they broke up. That was just it with them. Different with me though..
No, drop him completely out of your life and get on with yours, this relationship friends or not...will not go any further...

and this comment....

Quote:
For the record he isnt friends with his other exs and never slept with them or anything after they broke up. That was just it with them. Different with me though..
your making excuses for him in your head to excuse his behavior towards you, like grasping at straws....

a man does not care about a woman who allows him to treat her this way...you sound like a really great person...he is taking advantage of you and again, your inviting him to do so. No more contact...no reason, just let him alone and get on with your life...if he really wants you in a year or so, he may return, but make sure it's on your terms, not his...period.
A person like this is extremely self absorbed, and it would only get worse if you continue....

You deserve more...
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Old 05-04-2011, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
1,643 posts, read 2,637,397 times
Reputation: 2080
I dont think he it outright playing you, he was honest and told you he doesnt want a relationship.

I agree break all contact and move on though, stop initiating anything until if and when he decides he wants a relationship with you and then proves it by his actions.
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Old 05-04-2011, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,278 posts, read 51,772,813 times
Reputation: 35447
He broke up with you, but you still have sex with him??? : smack:
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Old 05-04-2011, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
He broke up with you, but you still have sex with him??? : smack:
Take it easy, LM. She's not the first and won't be the last.
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Old 05-04-2011, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,278 posts, read 51,772,813 times
Reputation: 35447
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Take it easy, LM. She's not the first and won't be the last.

It just kills me to see young women giving themselves away like this and to have no standards, no expectations, no understanding of how much more they deserve
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Old 05-04-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It just kills me to see young women giving themselves away like this and to have no standards, no expectations, no understanding of how much more they deserve
That is not something only young women do or only now...
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