Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok so a few years ago I met this guy in college. He was funny and we talked every once in a while when I saw him. He asked me to watch a movie one day and I went. While at the movie he asked if I had a bf which I answered yes but we were in our off period (we were on and off alot). He said ok then told me we had so much fun he wouldn't mind being my friend. I said ok and we started hanging out. He quickly became my best friend. We had a lot in common, the same interests, and he always made me laugh. My boyfriend didn't like it but I didn't want to give up my best friend. For now lets call my boyfriend (bf) and my best friend (bff).
Evnetually my bff started acting different and he later told me he thinks hes falling in love with me but he hopes not cause it'll ruin everything. At this point we were already sleeping in eachothers houses when it got late since we lived far apart. We shared a bed but made sure we were seperated. We watched anime all day and played video games and it was great. We even went to many anime conventions in costume, something my bf would never do. When he told me he loved me I thought at first that it was just some kinda asian fetish he was getting. But he eventually told me he was tired of hearing about me and my bf fighting and he can't stand by anymore and watch me get hurt. He told me my bf was mistreating me and if I stay with my bf, he would have to leave. I love my bf and I had no intention of leaving but I loved my bff and wanted him to stay. My bff would confuse me and ask what I had in common with my bf, then get annoyed when I had no answer. My bf was great and we had amazing sex and he was smart and had a handle on life. But my bf was getting angrier about my bff and we broke up more often.
Me and my bff still had fun over time but we were arguing more and more also. He didn't understand why I stayed with my bf and I had to keep them apart or else they would fight each other. Eventually I broke up with my bf for good and I continued spending time with my bff. He later started asking why I didn't give hime a shot. He gave me a thousand reasons he would make me happy but I told him I couldn't. I always told him I love him as a friend but he's not my type. He was kinda cute, and fit but slim. I told him I only wanted big men over 6 feet. I knew he really loved me because he would tear up whenever he explained his feelings to me. I told him I wish I could in love with him cuz I knew he would make me happy but for some reason I couldn't. During our friendship we did kiss many times and towards the end we even had sex a couple times. He initiated and I kind've went with it. It was ok but I knew it was a mistake.
Eventually he went away for a few weeks and another friend introduced me to a guy who liked me. We started dating but when my bff came back he was furious. He was mad I have my new bf more time than him. He got me to have sex with him again some time later but I told him we've got to stop and that he'll never be my bf. One day we had a huge argument and he pissed me off so much I told him I hated him and throw a bottle at his head (I missed). He teared up and left. I tried to apologize later but he never picked up the phone. Later I found out he told my new bf that we had sex. I was furious and I hated him and never wanted to see him again.
Over the years the only contact we had was the occasional birthday and holiday wishes. 2 years after we fought I asked him if he wanted to have a meal with me like old time and he agreed. When I saw him we sat at our usual spot to eat and talked. We both apologized about our past actions. He told me I was his best friend ever and I said the same. He said he tried to keep the friendship going but he couldn't since it was too hard. While walking he eventually told me he had to cut me off completely. He said he was in love with some hes been dating for over a year and he wasn't going to jeapordize it for me. I told him I understould and we hugged, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he left. I sent him a voicemail later telling him he will always be my best friend and that no one will ever top him in that department. That was it.
Wow long story. Well I've been dating a few new guys and so far they've all ended which is fine with me. But my sister keeps telling me I should've gave my bff a chance because now no one is gonna love me like he did. That he put up with a lot and he always took care of me. She always hated my bf's but got along well with him. What do you think should I have given him a chance? I told hime before that if I dated him I would have likely cheated and I didn't want to hurt him.
Ok so a few years ago I met this guy in college. He was funny and we talked every once in a while when I saw him. He asked me to watch a movie one day and I went. While at the movie he asked if I had a bf which I answered yes but we were in our off period (we were on and off alot). He said ok then told me we had so much fun he wouldn't mind being my friend. I said ok and we started hanging out. He quickly became my best friend. We had a lot in common, the same interests, and he always made me laugh. My boyfriend didn't like it but I didn't want to give up my best friend. For now lets call my boyfriend (bf) and my best friend (bff).
Evnetually my bff started acting different and he later told me he thinks hes falling in love with me but he hopes not cause it'll ruin everything. At this point we were already sleeping in eachothers houses when it got late since we lived far apart. We shared a bed but made sure we were seperated. We watched anime all day and played video games and it was great. We even went to many anime conventions in costume, something my bf would never do. When he told me he loved me I thought at first that it was just some kinda asian fetish he was getting. But he eventually told me he was tired of hearing about me and my bf fighting and he can't stand by anymore and watch me get hurt. He told me my bf was mistreating me and if I stay with my bf, he would have to leave. I love my bf and I had no intention of leaving but I loved my bff and wanted him to stay. My bff would confuse me and ask what I had in common with my bf, then get annoyed when I had no answer. My bf was great and we had amazing sex and he was smart and had a handle on life. But my bf was getting angrier about my bff and we broke up more often.
Me and my bff still had fun over time but we were arguing more and more also. He didn't understand why I stayed with my bf and I had to keep them apart or else they would fight each other. Eventually I broke up with my bf for good and I continued spending time with my bff. He later started asking why I didn't give hime a shot. He gave me a thousand reasons he would make me happy but I told him I couldn't. I always told him I love him as a friend but he's not my type. He was kinda cute, and fit but slim. I told him I only wanted big men over 6 feet. I knew he really loved me because he would tear up whenever he explained his feelings to me. I told him I wish I could in love with him cuz I knew he would make me happy but for some reason I couldn't. During our friendship we did kiss many times and towards the end we even had sex a couple times. He initiated and I kind've went with it. It was ok but I knew it was a mistake.
Eventually he went away for a few weeks and another friend introduced me to a guy who liked me. We started dating but when my bff came back he was furious. He was mad I have my new bf more time than him. He got me to have sex with him again some time later but I told him we've got to stop and that he'll never be my bf. One day we had a huge argument and he pissed me off so much I told him I hated him and throw a bottle at his head (I missed). He teared up and left. I tried to apologize later but he never picked up the phone. Later I found out he told my new bf that we had sex. I was furious and I hated him and never wanted to see him again.
Over the years the only contact we had was the occasional birthday and holiday wishes. 2 years after we fought I asked him if he wanted to have a meal with me like old time and he agreed. When I saw him we sat at our usual spot to eat and talked. We both apologized about our past actions. He told me I was his best friend ever and I said the same. He said he tried to keep the friendship going but he couldn't since it was too hard. While walking he eventually told me he had to cut me off completely. He said he was in love with some hes been dating for over a year and he wasn't going to jeapordize it for me. I told him I understould and we hugged, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he left. I sent him a voicemail later telling him he will always be my best friend and that no one will ever top him in that department. That was it.
Wow long story. Well I've been dating a few new guys and so far they've all ended which is fine with me. But my sister keeps telling me I should've gave my bff a chance because now no one is gonna love me like he did. That he put up with a lot and he always took care of me. She always hated my bf's but got along well with him. What do you think should I have given him a chance? I told hime before that if I dated him I would have likely cheated and I didn't want to hurt him.
Buy your BFF some platform shoes and voila! Youve got yourself a 6 footer!
Ok so a few years ago I met this guy in college. He was funny and we talked every once in a while when I saw him. He asked me to watch a movie one day and I went. While at the movie he asked if I had a bf which I answered yes but we were in our off period (we were on and off alot). He said ok then told me we had so much fun he wouldn't mind being my friend. I said ok and we started hanging out. He quickly became my best friend. We had a lot in common, the same interests, and he always made me laugh. My boyfriend didn't like it but I didn't want to give up my best friend. For now lets call my boyfriend (bf) and my best friend (bff).
Evnetually my bff started acting different and he later told me he thinks hes falling in love with me but he hopes not cause it'll ruin everything. At this point we were already sleeping in eachothers houses when it got late since we lived far apart. We shared a bed but made sure we were seperated. We watched anime all day and played video games and it was great. We even went to many anime conventions in costume, something my bf would never do. When he told me he loved me I thought at first that it was just some kinda asian fetish he was getting. But he eventually told me he was tired of hearing about me and my bf fighting and he can't stand by anymore and watch me get hurt. He told me my bf was mistreating me and if I stay with my bf, he would have to leave. I love my bf and I had no intention of leaving but I loved my bff and wanted him to stay. My bff would confuse me and ask what I had in common with my bf, then get annoyed when I had no answer. My bf was great and we had amazing sex and he was smart and had a handle on life. But my bf was getting angrier about my bff and we broke up more often.
Me and my bff still had fun over time but we were arguing more and more also. He didn't understand why I stayed with my bf and I had to keep them apart or else they would fight each other. Eventually I broke up with my bf for good and I continued spending time with my bff. He later started asking why I didn't give hime a shot. He gave me a thousand reasons he would make me happy but I told him I couldn't. I always told him I love him as a friend but he's not my type. He was kinda cute, and fit but slim. I told him I only wanted big men over 6 feet. I knew he really loved me because he would tear up whenever he explained his feelings to me. I told him I wish I could in love with him cuz I knew he would make me happy but for some reason I couldn't. During our friendship we did kiss many times and towards the end we even had sex a couple times. He initiated and I kind've went with it. It was ok but I knew it was a mistake.
Eventually he went away for a few weeks and another friend introduced me to a guy who liked me. We started dating but when my bff came back he was furious. He was mad I have my new bf more time than him. He got me to have sex with him again some time later but I told him we've got to stop and that he'll never be my bf. One day we had a huge argument and he pissed me off so much I told him I hated him and throw a bottle at his head (I missed). He teared up and left. I tried to apologize later but he never picked up the phone. Later I found out he told my new bf that we had sex. I was furious and I hated him and never wanted to see him again.
Over the years the only contact we had was the occasional birthday and holiday wishes. 2 years after we fought I asked him if he wanted to have a meal with me like old time and he agreed. When I saw him we sat at our usual spot to eat and talked. We both apologized about our past actions. He told me I was his best friend ever and I said the same. He said he tried to keep the friendship going but he couldn't since it was too hard. While walking he eventually told me he had to cut me off completely. He said he was in love with some hes been dating for over a year and he wasn't going to jeapordize it for me. I told him I understould and we hugged, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he left. I sent him a voicemail later telling him he will always be my best friend and that no one will ever top him in that department. That was it.
Wow long story. Well I've been dating a few new guys and so far they've all ended which is fine with me. But my sister keeps telling me I should've gave my bff a chance because now no one is gonna love me like he did. That he put up with a lot and he always took care of me. She always hated my bf's but got along well with him. What do you think should I have given him a chance? I told hime before that if I dated him I would have likely cheated and I didn't want to hurt him.
This is completely retrospective, right ? You couldn't possibly be contemplating the idea of getting back into your bff's life as a lover, or could you? I hope not.
Ok so a few years ago I met this guy in college. He was funny and we talked every once in a while when I saw him. He asked me to watch a movie one day and I went. While at the movie he asked if I had a bf which I answered yes but we were in our off period (we were on and off alot). He said ok then told me we had so much fun he wouldn't mind being my friend. I said ok and we started hanging out. He quickly became my best friend. We had a lot in common, the same interests, and he always made me laugh. My boyfriend didn't like it but I didn't want to give up my best friend. For now lets call my boyfriend (bf) and my best friend (bff).
Evnetually my bff started acting different and he later told me he thinks hes falling in love with me but he hopes not cause it'll ruin everything. At this point we were already sleeping in eachothers houses when it got late since we lived far apart. We shared a bed but made sure we were seperated. We watched anime all day and played video games and it was great. We even went to many anime conventions in costume, something my bf would never do. When he told me he loved me I thought at first that it was just some kinda asian fetish he was getting. But he eventually told me he was tired of hearing about me and my bf fighting and he can't stand by anymore and watch me get hurt. He told me my bf was mistreating me and if I stay with my bf, he would have to leave. I love my bf and I had no intention of leaving but I loved my bff and wanted him to stay. My bff would confuse me and ask what I had in common with my bf, then get annoyed when I had no answer. My bf was great and we had amazing sex and he was smart and had a handle on life. But my bf was getting angrier about my bff and we broke up more often.
Me and my bff still had fun over time but we were arguing more and more also. He didn't understand why I stayed with my bf and I had to keep them apart or else they would fight each other. Eventually I broke up with my bf for good and I continued spending time with my bff. He later started asking why I didn't give hime a shot. He gave me a thousand reasons he would make me happy but I told him I couldn't. I always told him I love him as a friend but he's not my type. He was kinda cute, and fit but slim. I told him I only wanted big men over 6 feet. I knew he really loved me because he would tear up whenever he explained his feelings to me. I told him I wish I could in love with him cuz I knew he would make me happy but for some reason I couldn't. During our friendship we did kiss many times and towards the end we even had sex a couple times. He initiated and I kind've went with it. It was ok but I knew it was a mistake.
Eventually he went away for a few weeks and another friend introduced me to a guy who liked me. We started dating but when my bff came back he was furious. He was mad I have my new bf more time than him. He got me to have sex with him again some time later but I told him we've got to stop and that he'll never be my bf. One day we had a huge argument and he pissed me off so much I told him I hated him and throw a bottle at his head (I missed). He teared up and left. I tried to apologize later but he never picked up the phone. Later I found out he told my new bf that we had sex. I was furious and I hated him and never wanted to see him again.
Over the years the only contact we had was the occasional birthday and holiday wishes. 2 years after we fought I asked him if he wanted to have a meal with me like old time and he agreed. When I saw him we sat at our usual spot to eat and talked. We both apologized about our past actions. He told me I was his best friend ever and I said the same. He said he tried to keep the friendship going but he couldn't since it was too hard. While walking he eventually told me he had to cut me off completely. He said he was in love with some hes been dating for over a year and he wasn't going to jeapordize it for me. I told him I understould and we hugged, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he left. I sent him a voicemail later telling him he will always be my best friend and that no one will ever top him in that department. That was it.
Wow long story. Well I've been dating a few new guys and so far they've all ended which is fine with me. But my sister keeps telling me I should've gave my bff a chance because now no one is gonna love me like he did. That he put up with a lot and he always took care of me. She always hated my bf's but got along well with him. What do you think should I have given him a chance? I told hime before that if I dated him I would have likely cheated and I didn't want to hurt him.
If your not feeling him like that, then your not feeling him like that. You shouldn't try to force something that isn't. You'll most likely only hate him more like you were beginning too.
However, you seem like a very confused person. You said you didn't have feelings for him like that, yet you had sex with him on multiple occasions. I don't know too many friends who do this. So either you have more feelings for him than you think, or your more confused than you think. Either or, this situation can't be good. You allowed him to ruin the one relationship you had with your bf. How many others will you allow him and yourself to ruin before you come to the same conclusion. Your not feeling him. If your sister likes him so much, maybe she should date him. Maybe the real problem is that you are just never content. You keep a scapegoat close by because in all reality you are indecisive. Why can't you just be happy with one guy?
Or better yet, why can't you accept being loved? It seemed like you didn't want him (bff) and even resented him until he told you he was in love and happy with someone else. Now your contemplating ruining his relationship like he ruined yours? Only to wind up in the same place you were two years ago. You confused and still not in love. There is more to life than being in love.
Does somebody even being with somebody else even matter anymore? Are we that selfish that all we care about is ourselves. What about your bff's girlfriend. Is she just the latest casualty depending on what YOU decide.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 05-05-2011 at 12:27 PM..
SOunds to me like he will always be "the one that got away." He's moved on, and rightfully so, and so should you. Let it be a lesson learned, he's told you he was in love and happy, leave him alone.
However, you seem like a very confused person. You said you didn't have feelings for him like that, yet you had sex with him on multiple occasions. I don't know too many friends who do this. So either you have more feelings for him than you think, or your more confused than you think. Either or, this situation can't be good.
I agree.
This is also a very good example of how having multiple boyfriends at one time to suit your various needs is both selfish and unfair.
Sounds like the OP was having an emotional affair with her friend that turned into a physical affair. If both of you are allowing this then neither of you is ready to settle in with anyone yet.
OP needs to start approaching relationships like an adult. Hopefully it was a lesson learned, with no shortage of pain for either party.
This is completely retrospective, right ? You couldn't possibly be contemplating the idea of getting back into your bff's life as a lover, or could you? I hope not.
No. I have no intention of seeing him again. I was just asking if I should've given him a chance before.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. 
I hope not. 
