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For a first date, how do you feel about going out for coffee?
Personally I hate coffee dates. There isn't anything intimate about them; I find them to be cold and impersonal. Perhaps if you went to a lounge-type coffee shop with sofas it would work, but I've never been to one. Anytime I have met someone at Starbucks or what have you, it was a dull date.
Suggesting a cup of coffee makes me think you are dating anyone who will agree to go out with you, and so you are being cheap about it. Cheap and lazy, really, because you can't be bothered to suggest something a little more interesting based on who I am (or at least have presented myself to be). You don't see me as an individual, you just ask all women out for coffee regardless.
I'm wondering if it's just me who hates these dates.
Last edited by OngletNYC; 05-07-2011 at 10:08 AM..
Reason: further clarifying my thoughts
For a first date, how do you feel about going out for coffee?
Personally I hate coffee dates. There isn't anything intimate about them; I find them to be cold and impersonal. Perhaps if you went to a lounge-type coffee shop with sofas it would work, but I've never been to one. Anytime I have met someone at Starbucks or what have you, it was a dull date.
I'm wondering if it's just me.
It's not you, and I don't do them myself.
Might have to do with the lack of good coffee shops around this area, but I generally didn't like the feel of those 2 dates I went on.
There's a "getting to know each other" phase at first that always seems cold and impersonal. First dates tend to be like that. The second can be more intimate.
It's kind of a cliche, but I do think coffee dates are fine for getting to know someone you don't know very well to see if it's worth going any further. It's casual, it's short, it's not a huge financial commitment for either party, and if it goes well, then you can do something else. I think it's worse to be, say, at a restaurant for three hours with a bad conversationalist or someone you're just not clicking with. With coffee, you can just say "hey, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go" rather than awkwardly picking at your food until the check comes.
It's kind of a cliche, but I do think coffee dates are fine for getting to know someone you don't know very well to see if it's worth going any further. It's casual, it's short, it's not a huge financial commitment for either party, and if it goes well, then you can do something else. I think it's worse to be, say, at a restaurant for three hours with a bad conversationalist or someone you're just not clicking with. With coffee, you can just say "hey, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go."
True, but there are hundreds of other things one can do with a low commitment and at a low cost (if not free). If coffee is the only thing a guy comes up with, I figure he's a serial dater who just wants to make sure I look like my pictures. He really hasn't read my profile, does not care about my personality.
It's a Public place that is all over, and you always know what you will be able to get.
No worrying there will be 'nothing on the menu' and its not a 'cheap' public place.
There is usually no loud music playing and no one hassles you if your there for hours talking.
Hot coffee also makes a nice weapon if the person you are meeting is a psycho
It's a Public place that is all over, and you always know what you will be able to get.
No worrying there will be 'nothing on the menu' and its not a 'cheap' public place.
There is usually no loud music playing and no one hassles you if your there for hours talking.
Hot coffee also makes a nice weapon if the person you are meeting is a psycho
Jonathan
I agree. The only other thing that might be nice is a walk in a nice park. I've done that and brought a frisbee. Had a nice time, but didn't see the woman again. Still, it was something different and fun.
I haven't been on a coffee date (haven't dated in years) but I think for me, getting back into the dating scene, this would be comforting to me. Someone to talk to while having coffee and getting to know them. Maybe grab some coffee and walk around a park would be nice too. I would buy my own coffee so that I wouldn't feel obligated.
I agree. The only other thing that might be nice is a walk in a nice park. I've done that and brought a frisbee. Had a nice time, but didn't see the woman again. Still, it was something different and fun.
That's the only other thing that's nice to do as a first date? How about browsing an outdoor flea market, roller skating, riding a bike, checking out a free & interesting exhibit at a museum, hiking, skee ball, scrabble in the park, browsing a bookstore...
i think coffee date is fine. buts its really preference, if your a good match you can probably have fun doing anything.
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