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I participate in a weekly Spanish conversational group. I decided it would be a great way to get to know everyone better to have a party at my house. So I sent an email to the organizer not really thinking ahead. Of course when I sent it I was thinking only the people at the group would be attending. Well, then I remembered they're all married and would be bringing their spouses. So this means I'll be the ONLY single person there out of 30 people or more. I feel like such a loser. There is one other single woman but don't know if she'd come or not. And I don't know anyone who is single to invite. It's tough being solo in a couple's world.
I suppose I could make up some excuse and change my mind, but it would force me to get this house in tip top shape if I were to have a party. I've never had a party here and I do have a pool too so people could always go swimming (and track water in all over my floors). Would you feel like having a party if you were me? And no, I won't be asking anyone to bring their single men friends. As an introvert, I hate parties and just wasn't thinking ahead to spouses. Would it be tacky to say leave your spouse at home? BTW, I don't have a small place so I can't use that excuse.
You cannot invite someone to a social function without including their spouse. It's one of the rudest social blunders one can commit. Since you have already suggested the idea of a party, just have it. Then, if you don't want to host another one, don't. Who knows. Someone might get to know you at the party and have an available friend or brother...
You cannot invite someone to a social function without including their spouse. It's one of the rudest social blunders one can commit. Since you have already suggested the idea of a party, just have it. Then, if you don't want to host another one, don't. Who knows. Someone might get to know you at the party and have an available friend or brother...
Maybe it's because I'm single, but I sort of disagree with you. If I made it ladies only, it wouldn't be considered rude, so why would it be considered rude to make it the group only?
Having said this, yes, SOs will be included, but I still don't quite completely understand why it would be so horrible to have only the group, especially if it were just an afternoon party.
Are you married, btw? If so, do you feel you should be included in everything your spouse does?
Maybe it's because I'm single, but I sort of disagree with you. If I made it ladies only, it wouldn't be considered rude, so why would it be considered rude to make it the group only?
Having said this, yes, SOs will be included, but I still don't quite completely understand why it would be so horrible to have only the group, especially if it were just an afternoon party.
Are you married, btw? If so, do you feel you should be included in everything your spouse does?
I am married. It's not that I necessarily go to everything my spouse chooses to, or that he comes to every event I choose to, but that it is generally considered rude to have a party-type event and not include spouses, or at least invite them so they have the option of coming along. SO's I feel differently about, though even that is a slippery slope when you consider some people may have lived together so long they're like spouses. I think "ladies only" type things are excusable when you're talking something like a baby shower (though there have been men at the last 5 I attended), and less so when you're talking an activity that is generally enjoyed by both sexes.
Just my two cents. If one of us were invited somewhere and the other deliberately excluded? That's a no-go. When you choose to marry someone, you put the relationship first, and invitations that snubbed him are not ones I would ever consider accepting.
The "treats" will be tortilla espanola bites and maybe mariachi chicken wings. Others can bring sweets, as I don't do sweets. I have about 200 cookbooks so somewhere in there is/are the recipes I need. Oh, and one of them is Martha Stewart's Entertaining so guess I'll need to sit down and read it.
Mmmm...yummy! You own 200 cookbooks?! Better start looking through 'em, lol!
I am married. It's not that I necessarily go to everything my spouse chooses to, or that he comes to every event I choose to, but that it is generally considered rude to have a party-type event and not include spouses, or at least invite them so they have the option of coming along. SO's I feel differently about, though even that is a slippery slope when you consider some people may have lived together so long they're like spouses. I think "ladies only" type things are excusable when you're talking something like a baby shower (though there have been men at the last 5 I attended), and less so when you're talking an activity that is generally enjoyed by both sexes.
Just my two cents. If one of us were invited somewhere and the other deliberately excluded? That's a no-go. When you choose to marry someone, you put the relationship first, and invitations that snubbed him are not ones I would ever consider accepting.
Well, we really differ here. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip.
When I was married I had strictly GF parties and so did they and the guys were not around for them. Whatever happened to girls night out or guys night out? I think it's healthy.
Well, we really differ here. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip.
When I was married I had strictly GF parties and so did they and the guys were not around for them. Whatever happened to girls night out or guys night out? I think it's healthy.
I think you're misunderstanding me, or perhaps I'm not being clear. We aren't joined at the hip. I do go to events where he chooses not to come, and he does go to events where I choose not to come. The occasional girls or guys night out can be a good thing. However, I think in most cases it's bad form to create an event like a party at your house and deliberately exclude spouses. Quite a few people, myself included, may decide they wouldn't come because of it. If you're okay with that, go ahead and throw the party as you choose, but be prepared that it may be seen as rude.
However, I think in most cases it's bad form to create an event like a party at your house and deliberately exclude spouses. Quite a few people, myself included, may decide they wouldn't come because of it. If you're okay with that, go ahead and throw the party as you choose, but be prepared that it may be seen as rude.
The "party" was originally conceived as a get-together for a group who take a Spanish conversational class together. That it segued into a party where spouses are to join in is a moot point.
However, if your spouse were taking a foreign conversation course and somebody in the group decided to have a home get-together one evening just for the group, would you feel slighted at not being asked to join in? Let's say the course was in, for instance, Japanese or any language with which you were totally unfamiliar, do you really think you'd be comfortable sitting around not understanding a word of what was being said?
I would only feel awkward if all I am conscious about is my relationship status. In fact, I welcome any opportunity to be around couples and hear their views, insights, experience, and opinions about relationship and life in general. Like one poster said, maybe you are more worried about being single rather than being alone in a room full of couples. Learn from them, and just be a gracious host for the day.
The "party" was originally conceived as a get-together for a group who take a Spanish conversational class together. That it segued into a party where spouses are to join in is a moot point.
However, if your spouse were taking a foreign conversation course and somebody in the group decided to have a home get-together one evening just for the group, would you feel slighted at not being asked to join in? Let's say the course was in, for instance, Japanese or any language with which you were totally unfamiliar, do you really think you'd be comfortable sitting around not understanding a word of what was being said?
I wouldn't necessarily feel slighted, but since I am part of a married couple, if I was invited to attend that dinner and my spouse was excluded, I likely wouldn't really want to go. A dinner where he wasn't welcome isn't one that I'd enjoy. We are by no means attached at the hip, but he's the person I've chosen to spend my life with and we only get so many days and years on this earth. I'd like to spend them with him. If someone doesn't want him at that dinner, then they can't want me there that badly either. No harm, no foul, but they shouldn't get their panties in a twist if those who are part of a couple choose not to attend. Same thing with weddings where kids aren't invited. It's perfectly fine to say "no kids" because you should have what you want at your wedding and for some it's either a distraction or cost issue. But then if you do, you have absolutely no right to complain when invited guests who are parents politely decline to come.
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I feel like such a loser. There is one other single woman but don't know if she'd come or not. And I don't know anyone who is single to invite. It's tough being solo in a couple's world.
Oh, and one of them is Martha Stewart's Entertaining so guess I'll need to sit down and read it.
You own 200 cookbooks?! Better start looking through 'em, lol!
