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Old 08-01-2011, 02:04 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,147,930 times
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So there's a girl that I've met a few times over the last 2 years or so (I see her maybe once a summer). She's a friend of a friend of a friend basically. I'm 28, I think she's 27. I saw her again last weekend and I got her number.

The two friends I showed up to the bar with are a married couple, and she noticed me right away and we just started talking, about summer, how we see each other once a year, how fun we had in the past the couple times we hung out as a group, etc. When she went to grab a drink, I asked one of her friends what her situation was, she said she's single, then the guy friend I was with spilled the beans that I was crushin on her (he's such a douche sometimes ). It's all in good fun though.

So after about an hour of us talking, I see her friends hugging my friends goodbye and I asked her if she was leaving. She said yeah we're heading to another bar. Then she said "you wanna come with?" I told her I would see what my friends are doing and she said she heard them say they're going home (it was late, like almost midnight). So I said, sure I'll go and got in a cab with her and 3 other girls to the next bar.

Once we got to the next bar, they had some friends there and we took a couple shots and I bought her a drink and we talked some more. She talked about how she doesn't go out to bars much, just tonight because her friend is in town and I told her I much prefer going out to dinner with friends and rooftop parties rather than bars and she very much agreed. We talked about different restaurants, what part of town we live in, etc. Keep in mind, this was a loud bar so it was hard to hear some of the time.

Anyway, I decided at 1:30am I was tired and I told her I had to be up early for baseball tomorrow so I was going to head out. She tells me "well hey, don't be a stranger, we should hang out again sometime". So I said "well how about you give me your number and I'll give you a call." She put her number in my phone and then I left.

Here's my dilemma. Naturally I'd like to call her up, maybe talk on the phone a little bit, then ask her if she wants to grab dinner or do something fun (like a date). But my guy friend I was out with told me it might be better to wait a couple days to call and then ask her to come out to dinner with a group of friends some night. Says it won't be as much pressure on her with a group date. My concern about doing that is I want to be clear about my intentions that I'm interested in dating her. I don't want to lead her to believe I just want to be friends. Anyway, I don't know what I'll do.

Just thought I'd see if there's any suggestions. Many of my dates the last few years were from online dating and I've always met one on one from those (obviously). Now that I'm done with OLD I need to know the best approach to the first meet after getting their number.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:07 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,127,633 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
But my guy friend I was out with told me it might be better to wait a couple days to call and then ask her to come out to dinner with a group of friends some night. Says it won't be as much pressure on her with a group date.
Dates consist of two people. That's it. Group dates are what you do when you're already in a relationship. If you ask her to go on some group outing, she'll put you into ye olde friends zone instantly. At least if you ask her out on a date she'll have to say yes or no, which tells you if she's interested.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Not Nowhere
1,321 posts, read 2,101,454 times
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1 on 1.

Group dates are for teenagers and established couples.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:14 PM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,607 posts, read 20,067,215 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
Dates consist of two people. That's it. Group dates are what you do when you're already in a relationship. If you ask her to go on some group outing, she'll put you into ye olde friends zone instantly. At least if you ask her out on a date she'll have to say yes or no, which tells you if she's interested.
Exactly, plus if you ask her on a group date, you're putting her at the mercy of getting picked up by one of your hotter friends (if you aren't the hottest one, that is...)
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:17 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 6,147,930 times
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Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Exactly, plus if you ask her on a group date, you're putting her at the mercy of getting picked up by one of your hotter friends (if you aren't the hottest one, that is...)
I'm pretty hot (or so I'd like to believe) but everyone else at this dinner would be there with their SO.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:19 PM
 
7,507 posts, read 4,384,093 times
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1 on 1. It's more intimate that way. JMO.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:23 PM
 
1,133 posts, read 2,275,613 times
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1 on 1. The masses have spoken.

But I do agree to wait a few days before calling...
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:40 PM
 
Location: USA
30,561 posts, read 21,730,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I'm pretty hot (or so I'd like to believe) but everyone else at this dinner would be there with their SO.
You must see a lot of woman then. You probably know where you shine the most: One on one or Group or both? Sounds like your both capable of carrying on a conversation so the risk is probably low in either case! She's already seen you in a group environment so maybe the one on one!
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:03 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 5,567,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
But my guy friend I was out with told me it might be better to wait a couple days to call and then ask her to come out to dinner with a group of friends some night. Says it won't be as much pressure on her with a group date. My concern about doing that is I want to be clear about my intentions that I'm interested in dating her. I don't want to lead her to believe I just want to be friends. Anyway, I don't know what I'll do.
Ordinarily, I'd say there's nothing wrong with asking for a 1-1 date right away. In this instance, I'm a little curious as to why your friend suggested a group date. Does your friend know this girl better than you do? Maybe there's a reason he suggested it to you?

Personally, I think a group date with a bunch of couples she didn't know plus you plus her would be weird for both of you. If you have mutual friends, not so weird.
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:12 PM
 
977 posts, read 1,810,968 times
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One on one. You'll get to know each other better and probably more fun.
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