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Old 05-10-2011, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Woodinville
2,227 posts, read 1,574,322 times
Reputation: 4190
Lightbulb Couples who don't fight

What are some opinions on couples who don't fight? I've seen couples not fight for 3 reasons:

1. They are too nice and cave to each other on everything.

2. They are always openly communicating and very understanding so a subject that would cause a fight for many couples just turns into an open discussion.

3. The couple literally agrees on everything.

I've heard many times that fighting can be a healthy behavior if done correctly. Is it possible that a lack of fighting, under certain conditions, can also be a healthy behavior?
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:06 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,541,459 times
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Sometimes couples who don't fight have a chasm between each other. This is where family dynamics stays behind close doors until 25 years later and they are separating.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,978 posts, read 53,863,752 times
Reputation: 36655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524 View Post
What are some opinions on couples who don't fight? I've seen couples not fight for 3 reasons:

1. They are too nice and cave to each other on everything.

2. They are always openly communicating and very understanding so a subject that would cause a fight for many couples just turns into an open discussion.

3. The couple literally agrees on everything.

I've heard many times that fighting can be a healthy behavior if done correctly. Is it possible that a lack of fighting, under certain conditions, can also be a healthy behavior?

While reasons couples don't fight can run the gamut, I think it's entirely possible for two people in a marriage to rarely fight and be in a very healthy relationship.

People I've observed that are that way are just highly compatible with many of the same views - since they agree so often there just isn't much to fight about.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,857 posts, read 10,669,715 times
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Or they don't communicate at all.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
3,980 posts, read 4,852,283 times
Reputation: 3477
Smile Not fighting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524 View Post
What are some opinions on couples who don't fight? I've seen couples not fight for 3 reasons:

1. They are too nice and cave to each other on everything.

2. They are always openly communicating and very understanding so a subject that would cause a fight for many couples just turns into an open discussion.

3. The couple literally agrees on everything.

I've heard many times that fighting can be a healthy behavior if done correctly. Is it possible that a lack of fighting, under certain conditions, can also be a healthy behavior?
I'm not going to say I'm never disappointed b/c I have been sometimes but sometimes, I'm just being a brat. Like, for example, last Friday morning, we were supposed to go to breakfast at a cute place before work. I kept reminding him about it. I did know, however, it would be tough - we got home at 2 AM Friday morning so I had a feeling it wouldn't happen and then it didn't - I mentioned it a few times and then finally, he just said we'll just make it another day - sorry - and that was it. Game over.

I would say we are more like #2.

I'm the one more expressive but I usually know when he's disappointed; then we talk about it - then it's ok.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,978 posts, read 53,863,752 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Or they don't communicate at all.
Right, like I said, the reasons can run from one end of the spectrum to the other - lack of communication to perfect communication.

Personally I kind of feel like if you don't have a good blow out every once in a while you miss the chance for great makeup sex
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 5,258,055 times
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We don't really fight, because DH is so gosh darn laid back. Sometimes I get upset, but it's rarely a fight--I just get cranky or disappointed, we sit and talk it out, and life goes on. I can't remember a single time in our 6 year relationship where either of us has yelled at the other or retaliated or anything like that. That's just not who we are.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:21 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,541,459 times
Reputation: 1899
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post

Personally I kind of feel like if you don't have a good blow out every once in a while you miss the chance for great makeup sex
So true... Sometimes moodiness is due to lack of sex and no amount of good manners is going to make up for that.
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:50 PM
 
538 posts, read 650,253 times
Reputation: 705
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
We don't really fight, because DH is so gosh darn laid back. Sometimes I get upset, but it's rarely a fight--I just get cranky or disappointed, we sit and talk it out, and life goes on. I can't remember a single time in our 6 year relationship where either of us has yelled at the other or retaliated or anything like that. That's just not who we are.
"Fighting" doesn't have to mean yelling, acting immature, and slamming doors.

What you described is your own version of "fighting." Nothing wrong with it, of course.
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Anchorage, Ak
1,413 posts, read 1,734,996 times
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Me and my ex-wife never, or vary rarely fought.

We didn't communicate very well with each other either, and our boundaries were all blurred up.
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