Have you been bullied as an adult? (women, therapy, engagement)

[Larksong]

Most of us probably didn't escape childhood without being bullied, sadly it seems to be part of our growing up process. Have you been bullied as an adult? If so, how did you handle the situation?

[marmom]

I was bullied as an adult (and as a child) by my mother and a bit by my grandmother and other family members. My mother likes to use threats of physical violence to control people (or occasionally hold them at gunpoint), and my grandmother is more covert. My response was to cut my mother out of my life and drastically distance myself from my grandmother - although I may end up cutting her out of my life too.

[Neway99]

Yes, esp. by toxic relatives. For years I lashed back, but the engagement took a lot out of me and brought me no peace. I also asked 'hey why are you doing that,' and was told that i am not Socrates to be asking why.
I have since put much more distance between myself them... it helps conserve my energy, and has the collateral benefit of rankling them because bullies don't like being ignored.

I also have a friend who goes into a bullying mode on me periodically. I have learned to skip the lashing back part. Because this is an otherwise decent friend, I'm going to try the 'hey why are you doing that,' next time it happens. My hope is that the friend is simply unaware he's acting out this way due to his own issues, and hopefully an adjustment will be made. If not, I guess that relationship will have to taper off or end as well.

[Capt. Dan]

I had one guy try to bully me a few months ago. Didnt work out too well for him. For lack of a better word, I have alot of "clout" here in my home county. So the bully no longer has his cushy government job.

[Opsimathia]

I got 5 other people to quit with me at a job which left a bully boss screwed.

[MzSJP]

I've been bullied by my former boss and current co-worker. Both women in their early fourties who were very passive aggressive. They would "snap" at me and find something wrong with everything that I did (NUTS I tell you). I stood up for myself and I called them on it every time, in a professional manner of course.

I said Good Riddens to my ex-boss and left my former job for my current job. My current co-worker finally had a baby, so that gave her something else to focus on and we're cool now.

[xiansheng_g]

Originally Posted by Larksong

Most of us probably didn't escape childhood without being bullied, sadly it seems to be part of our growing up process. Have you been bullied as an adult? If so, how did you handle the situation?

I grew up in an abusive household where I was the frequent target of the abuse. I unfortunately, and unknowingly developed a submissive persona which followed me well into adulthood. So, yes, I was bullied as an adult until I decided I had enough. Now, after years of therapy, I am able to live my life on my terms and refuse and even rudely accept a bullying situation from anyone.

[dave nz]

Nope

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Larksong

Most of us probably didn't escape childhood without being bullied, sadly it seems to be part of our growing up process. Have you been bullied as an adult? If so, how did you handle the situation?

Yes...many times, by family, workplace superiors, ex-g/f's. My response? Depends on the situation, but turning the other cheek generally resulted in only more abuse and bullying, and arguing back didn't always work either. A combination of the 2 methods...in any case, you have to be assertive and let the bully / aggressor know in no uncertain terms that you are not going to tolerate it.

[zentropa]

My ex sometimes tries to bully me, but I don't bite.