Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wouldn't you rather know for sure before making such a bold move to end a marriage? If all else is good, it's worth following your instincts and discovering the truth. Perhaps she just has trust issues to begin with. Some people can't trust anyone, sometimes because they know they can't be trusted themselves.
I think people are too quick to end a marriage over perceived trust issues or not wanting to communicate. Right now the OP has doubts, it's worth turning over every stone before you abruptly end a marriage over an empty facebook account.
I agree with this. There are certainly trust & communication issues, at the minimum, in this relationship and whether they are justifiable or not doesn't matter. The question is does the OP want to resolve them or is she looking for an excuse to leave?
Personally, I don't think more snooping, sneaking and spying on him is the answer, unless she's prepared to walk away. She'll just continue snooping and doubting until she finds the justification she needs to leave.
I think the best way to deal with this, if she is interested in possibly repairing the relationship is to first admit that she broke a trust too. She needs to fess up to him and say, "I snooped, I know it's wrong, I don't trust you because {insert reasons here}, but I'd like this marriage to work."
I agree with this. There are certainly trust & communication issues, at the minimum, in this relationship and whether they are justifiable or not doesn't matter. The question is does the OP want to look to resolve them or is she looking for an excuse to leave.
Personally, I don't think more snooping, sneaking and spying on him is the answer, unless she's prepared to walk away. She'll just continue snooping and doubting until she finds the justification she needs to leave.
I think the best way to deal with this, if she is interested in possibly repairing the relationship is to first admit that she broke a trust too. She needs to fess up to him and say, "I snooped, I know it's wrong, I don't trust you because {insert reasons here}, but I'd like this marriage to work."
If the OP is dealing with a liar and "confesses", he will just take that and use it against her. No doubt he will become enraged and self-righteous and STILL lie to her and she'll be no further ahead, quite the contrary.
Leopards don't change their spots. Once a liar, always a liar. Women (and men I guess) need to pay attention to their intuition and instincts and act on them. No one needs to install fancy gadgets, etc. She already has proof from the past plus her gut telling her he is up to no good.
The question is whether or not she wants to keep overlooking it or not.
I would hide all the cable cords so he cant even turn the computer on and would not give them up until he tells you whats going on.....if its wireless take the battery out of the laptop
I would hide all the cable cords so he cant even turn the computer on and would not give them up until he tells you whats going on.....if its wireless take the battery out of the laptop
other than that leave his @ss
Seriously? So childish. Just confront him like an adult and let him know how you feel.
If the OP is dealing with a liar and "confesses", he will just take that and use it against her. No doubt he will become enraged and self-righteous and STILL lie to her and she'll be no further ahead, quite the contrary.
Leopards don't change their spots. Once a liar, always a liar. Women (and men I guess) need to pay attention to their intuition and instincts and act on them. No one needs to install fancy gadgets, etc. She already has proof from the past plus her gut telling her he is up to no good.
The question is whether or not she wants to keep overlooking it or not.
Or.... he can appreciate where she is coming from, if he acknowledges that in the past he betrayed her trust and they are working to repairing it.
People with trust issues CAN misread reality and over-analyze too.
Only the OP knows the whole story and whether or not her relationship is worth salvaging.
Just confront him...or just walk in unexpectedly when he's on the computer and say "what are you doing honey?"
I have a fake facebook account as does my husband. We don't use facebook...but sometimes that's the only way to get information (our HOA is only on facebook, a rescue I work with, his hockey team...etc).
Our profiles are empty and we don't use our real names either. I also have a "dummy" e-mail account that I use for all the online crappola that I don't want spam from.
thats not childish...hes not allowed on the computer until she knows whats going on.
agree or not, he is grown man and these type of tactics are better suited for a teenager, not an adult. Besides whats to stop him from communicating using his smartphone or work computer, internet cafe etc etc.
What reasons would a person have to create a ficticious Facebook account? And should it bother me since he doesn't even use it? The fact is he created it for SOME reason. The fact that he doesn't use it doesn't make me feel any better. I know he will lie to me if I confront him.
I have a fake Facebook account. I use it to "friend" and "like" people and pages that I do not want to know my true identity. It's a crazy world out there and the less strangers know about me, the better I like it.
Your husband may have some pages that he has "LIKED" (they do not show up on his profile or personal page as friends) and he does not want other people to know it. Next time you "hack" his FB account, look under his profile "activities and interests" tab and click on .... "Show other pages" at the bottom of the interests box. That will show the pages that he has "liked".
If I liked "body piercing" or "tattoos" or something like that, I would certainly not want my true identity known buy anyone who could click on my profile.
It does not sound like he is doing anything objectionable to me. People can do whatever they want to do and really should not have to give an explanation for it (as long as it does not hurt anyone else). Your lack of trust is resulting in your making more of this than what it is. Just my opinion, of course.
20yrsinBranson
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...hes not allowed on the computer until she knows whats going on.
I know he will lie to me if I confront him.
