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Believe me - without any ID at all, no house, no bank accounts, no car, jobs paid in cash? Try getting accepted at the Social Security or DMV windows. Try buying a house, a car. Try to get a job in any real business. Try to travel. Heck, try getting married. Accepting PayPal payments.
Not accepted by the "pack"?
You are conflating necessary survival skills and tactics with pack acceptance. Lone wolves are adept at using what Nature provides. Getting married is not a lone wolf destiny.
I feel like a lot of the stuff in this thread is trying to deflect the reason for, well, whatever. I know plenty of people in my cohort (which is arguably the most technology-dependent one) that have tons of fun every weekend and hell every day for that matter, and have strong meaningful friendships and relationships.
I do think all this stuff kinda disconnects us to an extent, but I would hardly blame it for my loneliness for instance.
Technology only affords more opportunities to isolate yourself. Prior to laptops and ipads people buried their face in a book at the local coffee shop. An introvert is an introvert, regardless of the technology. I can remember when I was a kid growing up in Brooklyn/Queens. Back then there was a bar or pub on just about every corner. A place where neighborhood residents (mostly men) would gather for a few drinks and talk sports, politics, current events or share war stories. Over the years as these residents either died off or moved to greener pastures, many of these establishments were replaced by laundromats and private social clubs. I also remember how flocks of local residents used to gather at the local playgrounds in the summer to play chess or bocce.
Back when I lived in the city there was no cable TV with 150 channels, there were no gameboys and Atari was all the rage when it came out, but not many people could afford them. One kid out of maybe eight owned one. Today every kid has his/her own game console or gadget. Kids played stickball in the street, handball, made forts out of cardboard boxes, and were always outside, no matter how miserable the weather. When I drive around those same streets today I rarely see kids playing any sports or some of the games we used to play like Skelsy (s/p?).
Yet back then we still had loners and kids who either didn't want any part of being in a group or were not accepted by any group. They didn't or couldn't fit in. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. I think the difference today is more and more people choose to be loners. They have more options by way of technology. I don't think they're any happier for it, and a lot of online forums such as this have replaced those corner taverns and coffee shops as a way to congregate and shoot the breeze. In some ways technology has actually been a blessing to people who find it challenging to get out and make new friends and acquaintances.
I think a more accurate portrayal of people who aren't part of the pack are just those who choose not to be a part of a clique.
I feel that way a lot of the time. It'd be easier to deal with if it didn't seem like everyone in the world but me was making friends. It's annoying. But in general, I think the mobility of our society, the hours spent working, money issues and electronics are all equally in the way of human connection. It's really sad. And of course I think it's worse than it has to be with me because I can't begin to tell you all of the electronics out there today and their capabilities. That in itself has pretty much widened the chasm between me and my peers I guess.
But hey if you have an Ipod, desktop and laptop you're doing better than me. As of right now I have an Ipod, a crashed computer and a borrowed laptop lol.
One of the reasons I don't have (and never plan to either) an iPhone / Blackberry / Android, why I don't "text", and why I hardly ever use my facebook (have even toyed with getting rid of my fb)
But, in all seriousness though, OP certainly has some very excellent and valid points there which I rep'ped
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoky_topaz
This thread is about loneliness as in feeling FRIENDLESS not about being single or without a partner -type of loneliness. I mean feeling like people just do not care. Why is life in modern-day America like this? Why are people in general only concerned with themselves (or their job or career) and don't seem to be that devoted to social relationships? Of course when I was in grade school/High school? college it was a lot easier to meet like minded people. Now it seems like all my friends have left me behind. Is this just typical of life in the 21st century as we know it, or has technology changed the face of social communication (i.e. texting/ Facebooking/ communication with other techie do dads which I currently do not own.) All I own is an Ipod, a laptop and a desktop. My cell phone is a vintage 2008 verizon model which does not support text messaging because it was not in the plan I subscibed to. I do have a facebook page however and communicate with a few people but don't spend a whole lot of time there.
What is my point exactly? It is more like a question. Why are people in this country in 21st c so fragmented and disconnected to the point that they just "do not have time" for you anymore. I'm starting to think, unless something turns around and we get rid of all this technology BS, we better start enjoying out own company. I do wonder from time to time if other nations outside the US are as lonely as America. Sometimes I spend time on a website called "Happier Abroad: Your Guide to Life and Love Outside America" (I will provide the url in a minute) Basically the founder is an expatriate who talks about what a lonely country this is and how different other countries are socially (particularly the "collectivist" societies (ie Mexico) and not the "individualistic" societies (like the USA, maybe Canada.) The website is geared toward single men in America apparently looking to date, but I visit there because the stuff the founder says is so true and I sometimes join in the forums.
I know I am beginning to sound like Bill Daughterive (the lonely guy on King of the Hill) but I kinda feel his pain...The website I am talking about is www.happierabroad.com. Are other countries a lot less socially dysfunctional as the author-expatriate says? There's also another book on the subject, called "The Lonely American" I don't remember who the author is, it came out in 2004, sounds interesting, but it might depress me however.
It's not the quiet ones who don't know how to socialize properly in this country. It's the ignorant, loudmouths and thugs. You have to be stupid today to make friends because it involves way too much ignorance, sacrifice and trouble. Relaionships themselves have become a liability because people have no clue how to conduct a productive relationship. We put each other in these little boxes with negative labels on them and sabotage group harmony out of pure competition. It's all driven by ego and ego destroys every human connection. Never fails.
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