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Old 05-15-2011, 11:59 PM
 
37,426 posts, read 45,623,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
So I figure, maybe if I don't adore him, then I won't be phased by his not seeing me as beautiful, gorgeous, or stunning (which are words men use to describe women to whom they're actually attracted). So I presume this guy isn't physically attracted to me due to the wording in "very pretty".

I like to think I'm a reasonable person so I know this must seem very silly, but it's been my observation that a man does not call his girlfriend or wife "very pretty"; they use "beautiful" and "gorgeous" or "stunning," instead of "pretty". These are words men use to describe women they think are generally attractive, but are not specially attracted to them. AKA, the nice way to say "eh you're alright, but not my type."

Would I be correct in believing this man is just not that into me, and to just blow him off and stay just friends?

I do remember a specific time that my husband (at the time) and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, and he was looking at me, and out of nowhere, said "You are so pretty...". I thought it was rather complimentary.

(Oh, and just for future reference, it's "fazed" - not "phased". Two completely different meanings!!! )
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Old 05-16-2011, 12:06 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,925,185 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
I like to think I'm a reasonable person so I know this must seem very silly, but it's been my observation that a man does not call his girlfriend or wife "very pretty"; they use "beautiful" and "gorgeous" or "stunning," instead of "pretty".
It may sound silly to some, but your observation coincides with my observation.
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Old 05-16-2011, 04:19 AM
 
Location: Southwest France
1,413 posts, read 3,219,061 times
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Perhaps its a lack of vocabulary and not a lack of feelings.
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Old 05-16-2011, 05:40 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,332,248 times
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Think of the tone of his voice when he calls you "very pretty". Is it kind of indifferent, sort of like: "eh, well, you are very pretty"...or is it lustful "you are VERY pretty....."?
Sometimes it's not what he says, but the way he says it can make a world of difference. Sounds like he just likes using this word in his vocabulary and considers it a huge compliment. Besides, it could be worse, he could have used the word "cute".
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Old 05-16-2011, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,572,400 times
Reputation: 8681
Something else to consider - what a woman regards herself as...I've encountered what I (and seemingly most everyone else) considered a "beautiful" woman. It turns out they they reject the term beautiful and prefer "pretty".

I've always been taken short by this, but my ladyfriend (who is beautiful, at least in my eyes) explained it by saying that "beautiful" sounds artificial, and that it carries with it a lot of expectations. She said a woman might prefer "pretty" as that is more earthy, more attainable, not as likely to scare guys off.

And certainly not as much trouble to maintain.

Of course, it could always just be an inferiority complex at work in these cases...
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Old 05-16-2011, 07:55 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 2,198,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
...

Would I be correct in believing this man is just not that into me, and to just blow him off and stay just friends?


...
Who knows? You have not presented enough information to make a rational judgment on. He did use the modifier of being "very" pretty rather than one like "almost", "nearly" or "somewhat" pretty. Take it as a compliment and figure out if this means something to the guy saying it. It can take time for a very pretty women to become beautiful or hot to a guy.
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Old 05-16-2011, 07:57 AM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,010,627 times
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"Very Pretty", in my opinion, is used when the person doesn't really know you well.

It seems to describe just the looks.

I think Hot, or beautiful or other adjectives tend to describe looks, attitude and personality.

But yes, I understand what you are saying. If someone called me "pretty" I'd assume they find me attractive or easy on the eyes, but that they are not physically attracted to me.
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:10 AM
 
Location: ...
3,919 posts, read 2,551,195 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
Bad judgment on your part. I'm a Black woman and I don't think it has anything to do with race...

And I'm not complaining, I'm questioning the use of words and how they convey a level of attraction. What man tells his wife or girlfriend that she's "pretty"? No, she's not pretty. He would say that she's beautiful at the least. I just don't like to waste time blushing over people who aren't physically attracted to me, but I'm taking some of the feedback here into consideration into whether I'm judging this reasonably or not.
But you're going on your own culture and customs. The man you are talking about may have different words and actions to show his interest. Life is not a set of rules and ways to behave. Sounds like this is a new friend? Or not? Even if you've known him a while, why get so upset over something that is nice? Give this a chance IF you want to, if you are interested in him. If you aren't move on.
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:12 AM
 
3,083 posts, read 4,861,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
It is a compliment. And one most ladies like. But to give you a scenario...

You are a lady at say a wedding...you are female and your friend whom is a lady is sitting at a table.

You overhear a male saying, "The one on the left is VERY Pretty and the one on the right is Drop dead Gorgeous!"
still a far cry from "he's nice" to "he's hot". At least 'very pretty' means she is attractive and is at least in the same city as 'shes hot'. "he's nice could be said of an ogre with really good manners, doesnt mean he is attractive'
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:15 AM
 
Location: EPWV
19,295 posts, read 9,397,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darrensmooth View Post
very pretty is NOT he's nice, very pretty is a compliment
\
I was thinking that too.. Of course, when applying it to a guy, "very handsome". What guy would take offense to that, I wonder
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