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Old 05-23-2011, 07:18 AM
 
87 posts, read 84,920 times
Reputation: 37
Default Fan Fiction and how it's ruing my relationship

For those of you who don't know google it.

So my girlfriend who I've been with for 3 years(living with) is really into this. She likes to write about her favorite musicians having gay sex period. That's my problem with it. Bottom line is she can't put her phone down. If I'm sitting in the living room watching TV and your in the same room texting/typing Moderator cut: keep it PG13, please with me sitting right next to you! I've complained to her about it and all she doe is look sad confused and tells me that she see's nothing wrong with going onto her phone if she's not engaging a conversation with me. Keep in mind she has her phone by her side at all times so as soon as silence creeps into the room she's back on her phone while I'm sitting there and it eventually leads to me storming out the room or acting out passivly. It got to the point where I was making rules when she can or cannot be on the phone. She's obsessed with this group band to the point where she literally lives and breathes it. She goes to shows, she writes about them, and talks to her online friends about them all times of the day!!! It's getting really frustrating and I'm becoming jealous and hateful because it. She's grouping up with her online friends(community that writes fan fiction) to see these guys live all they do talking about going to the next show and writing more fan fic about them.

It's all cool. I don't mind her going out and having a good time. I don't mind her having a crush on band member but when you throw the fan fic porn into the mix it brings it to a whole level of creepiness and for the longest time I knew she did this stuff but it was not as frequent which was fine because it was never getting in the way of our social time together but now it's to the extreme. I can't stress it no more it's driving me nuts. The love of my life is constantly looking at her phone and not in good good way.

Am I being silly for letting this bother me? Really I'm just wanting for someone who can relate to this problem and tell me I have every right to be bothered by this.

Last edited by JustJulia; 05-23-2011 at 08:12 AM..

 
Old 05-23-2011, 07:29 AM
 
16,623 posts, read 13,527,178 times
Reputation: 11444
sounds pretty weird. yes, i would have a problem with that.
 
Old 05-23-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
8,869 posts, read 6,183,835 times
Reputation: 11156
wtf
 
Old 05-23-2011, 07:58 AM
 
87 posts, read 84,920 times
Reputation: 37
Apparently she has an e-mail that sends her updates every time patrick stump says something on the internet an interview, a tweet from twitter or a piece of art work posted on tumblr. It's gotten to the point where her and her friends talk to him on twitter and he has responded back and they have exchanged e-mails. I felt like crap because the other day because her friends who were at a concert were at a meet and greet and told patrick to call my gf and wished her good luck on graduating and she told me about it I was not happy for her. I'm like you write porn about this guy!!! All you do is talk about this guy! I don't think him calling you up is cute. There's a line that's been cross and obsessions is growing and my jealousy is too and it would of never been the case if it wasn't for constant blabbering, fan fic porn and the monthly out of state shows.

Last edited by cjb1514; 05-23-2011 at 09:02 AM..
 
Old 05-23-2011, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,890 posts, read 12,283,338 times
Reputation: 8400
Obsessions have a nasty way of tearing relationships apart.

I rarely if ever say this, but she might benefit from some professional therapy. It seems as if in making some rules you've tried to eliminate or at least moderate the problem, which is a good thing, but if it is continuing to get worse then you've probably done all that you can, short of issuing an ultimatum. Hopefully some counseling would be able to bring her back to the middle of the fence.
 
Old 05-23-2011, 08:01 AM
 
87 posts, read 84,920 times
Reputation: 37
Quote:
wtf
That's real nice. The exact kind of feedback I was looking for.
 
Old 05-23-2011, 08:14 AM
 
Location: in your dreams
8,869 posts, read 6,183,835 times
Reputation: 11156
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjb1514 View Post
That's real nice. The exact kind of feedback I was looking for.

Sorry, I just googled Patrick Stump.


gaahhh!
 
Old 05-23-2011, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,481,046 times
Reputation: 11309
Bizarre. Throw her out. She can be a groupie for the rest of her life.
 
Old 05-23-2011, 08:15 AM
 
16,623 posts, read 13,527,178 times
Reputation: 11444
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjb1514 View Post
That's real nice. The exact kind of feedback I was looking for.
"WTF" says it all. what kind of feedback do you want?

what you described sounds like a sign of psychological problems on her part, and possibly you as well, for having put up with it.

you're looking for some kind of judgement -- so my opinion is that tolerating this is well outside the range of what i consider normal male behavior. have some dignity.
 
Old 05-23-2011, 08:16 AM
 
87 posts, read 84,920 times
Reputation: 37
Quote:
"WTF" says it all. what kind of feedback do you want?

what you described sounds like a sign of psychological problems on her part, and possibly you as well, for having put up with it.

you're looking for some kind of judgement -- so my opinion is that tolerating this is well outside the range of what i consider normal male behavior. have some dignity
Thank you!

Her best friend(in person) don't know about his. Her friend thinks im controlling and a hole because I told her that she has to put her phone away when we hang out. She doesn't know that when she's on her phone she's discussing and writing sex scenes while im in the same room with her. I can't tell her because my gf prefer to keep that amongst her and creepy online friends. So I lose.
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